Wednesday, July 30, 2014

A Prescription for Love ~ Chapter Eight

This is different from the norm. In all of the stories that I’ve read or that I’ve seen, all of the characters are disgustingly perfect unless they are written with very clear flaws. This story is about love (um, duh! Look who’s writing it. I’m the queen of romance), and finding it in the least likely place with the least likely person.

Now, this story is based in a hospital. My medical training comes from…WebMD. I’m not a doctor, nor do I claim to be. I’m a music teacher who has a wild imagination and a penchant for all things Twilight (and with this story, added in a mix of ER! I loved Luca Kovac…) Which brings me to my disclaimer: None of this is mine. I’m not, nor ever will be, Stephenie Meyer. If was, I’d be rolling in the dough from her insane imagination that gave us Bella and Edward. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter Eight

EPOV

I hated leaving Bella after our date. But, if I had stayed, I just know that things would have gotten heated and we would have had sex. First off, I don’t want to revert back to my manwhorish ways. I had been with more women than I care to admit. That all changed when I met Tanya. I wanted to stay that way for Bella. Secondly, I want to make love to her. I want to LOVE her. While, I may be feeling some pretty strong emotions toward Bella, it’s not love. Not yet. Though, I could definitely find myself falling deeply in love with her. 

So, I drove away from her apartment and back to my house. I parked my baby into the garage and headed into my very lonely and cold brownstone. Why couldn’t Bella move in with me? Yeah, we just met, asswipe. What woman would move in with a man that she hardly knew? Not many. I hung up my coat and grabbed a bottle of beer from my fridge. As I was sipping my Stella, my cell phone rang. It was Rosalie.

“Yes, Baby Sister?” I snickered into the phone.

“You’re picking up. That means either your date sucked ass, you respected her and left her at the door or you’re in a post coital glow in the bathroom,” she giggled.

“Rosie, you are the devil,” I snapped. “My date was perfect and so was the girl. I left her at the door after I kissed her senseless. Though, I wish I had stayed. I like my house but it’s so empty and lonely. Bella makes it homey.”

“You’ve got it bad, Eddie,” Rose laughed. “Tell me about her. I haven’t heard much about Bella since I’ve been an emotional wreck.”

“Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” I quipped.

“Can’t sleep. Besides, I’m living through you and Jazzy. Did you hear? He’s in love with some sprite-like girl named Alice,” Rose squealed. “Come on, Eddie. Please?”

“I can’t stay on the phone for too long, Rosie. I’ve got to work,” I chided.

“That’s why God invented coffee, Edward,” Rose snickered.

“You suck, Rose,” I laughed. Then, I spent the next hour talking to her about the wonders of Bella. I could tell that Rose was happy for me and she seemed excited to meet Bella. I wanted them to meet as well. Both of them were dealing with some very real self-esteem issues and perhaps they could work through them together. However, Rose needed to eat a lot more and Bella may think that I wanted her to eat less. That’s definitely not the case. I loved Bella’s curves, how they molded to my body when we embraced and kissed. I couldn’t wait to feel her breasts in my hands and her luscious skin against my fingers.

Fuck, I’m rock hard.

“Rose, I really have to go. I’m working a later shift but I need to shower and…”

“And jerk off,” she giggled. “I get it. Look, next week, I’m going to see a therapist at the hospital. Mom’s going to drive me. Perhaps when I’m done, we can get something to eat? Maybe I can meet your Bella?”

“What day, Rose?” I asked as I checked my calendar.

“January 22nd,” she answered. I penciled in a date for my sister and we hung up the phone. I jogged upstairs and stripped out of my clothes, tossing them into the hamper. Before I plugged in my phone to charge, I sent a brief text to Bella.

I miss you, sweet girl. I should have stayed. I hope your beluga whale is keeping you company – E

He is. He’s a better bed fellow than you, Dr. C. – B

Explain that, Nurse Swan – E

He doesn’t kick or hog the bed. But, I would still rather sleep with you. I miss your cuddles. I miss you, too. I had a wonderful night tonight – B

Me too, Bella. I’ll be dreaming of you tonight, sweet girl – E

I hope they’re good dreams – B

They will be. I’ll see you tomorrow. Sleep well and kiss the beluga for me. At least someone’s getting some action  :-( - E

You COULD have stayed, Edward – B

I’m kicking myself in the ass for leaving but at least I’ll get to see you tomorrow. G’night – E

Sweet dreams, Edward – B

I hung up the phone and darted to my master bathroom. I turned on the water and popped out my contact lenses. My cock was still hard and it was aching for some sort of release. Slipping into the hot stream water, I soaked my body. Waiting as long as I could, I wrapped my hand around my cock. He twitched at the feeling but it wasn’t the same as the feeling of a woman surrounding me. I wanted that woman to be Bella. I wanted to feel her warmth. Her wetness. Her pussy. I wanted all of her.

Slowly, I ran my hand up and down the length of my dick. Unfortunately, just this was NOT cutting it. I closed my eyes and my imagination ran wild. In my mind, Bella was on her knees before me, pressing soft kisses along my shaft. Her wide doe eyes were staring up at me as she swirled her tongue around the head of my cock. Fuck, yes.  With a wink, my dream Bella slowly lowered her mouth over me and began bobbing her head. I moaned loudly as my hand moved along with my dream girl. “Bella, my beautiful Bella. More, baby,” I groaned as my hips thrust against my hand. I twisted my wrist and increased my pumping. Dream Bella was sucking on my balls while she wrapped her tiny hands around my shaft, twisting around the head of erection.

“I need you, Bella. I need you so much,” I moaned as I leaned against the slate in my shower. My hand was moving erratically over my cock and my other hand was tugging on my balls. Dream Bella sank her mouth over me and sucked her cheeks in, creating the most wonderful feeling around me. Dream Bella scraped her teeth along the underside of my shaft and my balls tightened. I sped up my pumps and soon I came violently all over my shower floor. “Fuck!”

I sagged against the wall and opened my eyes. I released my now deflating cock. If that’s what my dream girl is like, I wonder how she’s going to be when we actually start fooling around. When we make love. As I finished my shower, I vowed to make our first time to be the special moment that Bella deserved. I want to be the first one to say that I love her and I want to make her feel adored, cherished and loved.
Finishing up my shower, I toweled off my body and hair. I slid on my glasses, walking to my bedroom. I crawled between the sheets naked and fell asleep quickly, spent from my self-loving in the shower. However, the last thing I remembered before drifting to sleep was Bella’s beautiful eyes and her breath-taking smile. Yes, I am definitely falling for this girl.

xx APFL xx

The next few days were hectic. I ended up working nearly three days straight due to illness in the ER. Illness with the doctors and illness with the patients. The flu was running rampant and everyone was coming to get rehydrated.  I didn’t even get home on Friday. I ended up crashing in my office during my shift, only to get woken up by Angela, who was on during that shift,  if I was needed. By Saturday evening, I was completely drained and all I wanted was a hot shower and some cuddle time with my girl. I left with Ang on Saturday and she said that Bella was feeling under the weather, but would enjoy seeing me. I tiredly smiled as we rode the el back to their apartment.

Angela told me to shower once I got inside. I scowled at her and asked if I smelled. Angela plugged her nose and nodded. I knew I was pretty ripe. The tiny shower in my office was good for a  hose off but not for a thorough cleaning. I chuckled and inside of the apartment, I snuck into the shower and scoured my exhausted, tired body. Thankfully, I had some extra scrubs in my messenger bag along with some extra boxer briefs. Since I last was at their apartment, I noticed that Bella had bought some of my body wash and some of my shampoo. I used the body wash but decided to wash my hair with Bella’s strawberry shampoo. Once I was clean and in fresh scrubs, I walked into Bella’s bedroom. The lights were dimmed and I could hear Bella breathing. It sounded ragged.

Crouching in front of her, I brushed her hair from her face and saw that her skin was very flushed. I felt her forehead and she felt like she had a pretty high fever. “Sweet girl,” I whispered as I kissed her forehead. I sat up and went into the living room, searching for Angela. I eventually found her in the kitchen, stuffing her face with some leftovers. “Do you have a thermometer?”

“Sure,” she said with a mouthful of lasagna. She splattered it all over her counter. Wiping her face, she darted past me and into her room. A few moments later she came out with a thermometer and a new shirt. 
“Sorry. Today was crazy in the ER. I needed some food or else I was going to gnaw off my own arm or something.”

“I’m with you, Ang,” I snorted.

“I’ll fix you a plate. How’s Bella?”

“Asleep. And running a fever,” I answered. “I think she fell victim to the flu.” Angela frowned and handed me the thermometer. I walked back to Bella’s room. I was grateful that the thermometer that Angela gave me was an ear one. They aren’t as reliable as other types, but it can register a fever. I tucked some of Bella’s hair behind her ear and stuck it inside. A few seconds later, it beeped. Her fever was pretty high: 102.3. “Shit.”

Bella’s eyes fluttered. Blearily, she looked up at me. “I’m sick, Edward. I don’t want to infect you,” she croaked.

“What’s wrong, sweet girl?” I asked as I kneeled next to her spot in the bed. “And I’m not leaving. Well, I may leave to get you a prescription, but I’m not leaving you like this. So, tell me your symptoms.”

“Achy. Nauseous. Tired. Dizzy,” she rattled off.

“Have you eaten anything?” I asked. She shook her head and burrowed deeper into her bed. “You need to keep your strength up. Are you working tomorrow?”

“Midnight shift,” she croaked. “If I can keep something down.”

“Do you want some anti-nausea medicine? I can prescribe something for you,” I whispered as I caressed her warm cheeks.

“No,” she whimpered. “I’ve gotten through the worst of it.”

“When?” I asked. Bella worked yesterday. She wasn’t her usual chipper self and was always running off.
“Towards the end of my shift yesterday until this morning,” she answered. “I haven’t thrown up in nearly four hours.”

“But when was the last time you had anything to eat? To drink?” I chided. “Bella, your electrolytes are probably low. You need those nutrients. I’m going to pick up some bland food for you and Gatorade. I’m also going to get a prescription for Reglan for you, sweet girl.”

“You just got off a marathon of three days,” she pouted. “Stay with me.”

“I’ll be an hour at most. You sleep and I’ll be back,” I soothed as I kissed her forehead.

“Take my keys. They’re on the desk,” Bella said weakly. I picked up a purple lanyard and slipped it in my jacket pocket. Bella was snoring quietly and shivering in her bed. In her closet, I knew she had an extra blanket because my mom had insisted that I get it for her. Or rather, my mom got for my girlfriend but I brought over since my mom was pushy like that. I threw it over Bella’s shivering form and darted out of the apartment. Not wanting to deal with public transit, I hailed a cab and had him drive me to the grocery store that I knew that Bella frequented and had her prescriptions located. What? My girlfriend told me she was on the pill and this was her pharmacy. I called in her prescription as we drove. They assured me that the Reglan would be ready by the time I arrived. I know it’s slightly unethical to call in a prescription for one’s girlfriend but it’s not like we’re married. When that happens, just ask Dad.

What the hell was that? Marriage?

I just ended one and now I’m thinking about another one?

I shook my head and paid the driver. I picked up some stomach flu necessities: Gatorade, crackers, plain white toast, chicken stock and rice. As I was walking to the pharmacy, I noticed some obnoxiously adorable pink bunny slippers. I wanted to see my girl smile. I found her shoe size and plucked a pair from the rack. At the pharmacy, I paid for Bella’s prescription. I picked up some ibuprofen and her own thermometer before heading to the checkout. With my bags of goodies, I hailed another cab and rode back to the apartment. Using the key that Bella had offered me, I let myself into the building and into her apartment. In the kitchen, Angela left me a note on the fridge.

Your lasagna is in the microwave. Cook it for two minutes. Thank you for taking care of Bella. She’s too stubborn to even think about asking for help but I know why…I’ll see you later, Dr. C.!

Yeah, she was stubborn about being sick because of her douchetastic dad. No one ever took care of her. 
Damn it. I was going to.

I cooked the lasagna and readied Bella’s meds and food. Once I was done, I washed the plate and carried a bottle of Gatorade, some warmed broth and crackers into Bella’s room. I couldn’t even find her under the mounds of pillows and blankets. I hated to wake her but she needed something to eat. I put her dinner onto the nightstand and uncovered the lump that was my girlfriend. “Sweet girl,” I cooed. “I have meds for you. But, you need to eat.”

“I don’t want to puke. No food,” she grumbled.

“Don’t make me go back to the hospital and get an IV bag and a feeding tube,” I teased. “You’re probably very dehydrated and you need to eat. Please, sweet girl?”

“Get the garbage can,” she said flatly as she sat up. She was deathly pale and her eyes were sunken into her head. Her normally vibrant and curly brown hair was flat and thrown into a very sloppy, greasy ponytail.

“You’re so not going into work tomorrow,” I said firmly. “Bella, I care for you a great deal and I mean this in the nicest way possible but you look like death warmed over.”

“You know, you can just leave!” she spat. “I don’t need this shit.” She heaved herself out of her bed and walked to the doorway. However, she was unsteady on her feet and stumbled. I darted over to her and caught her before she became personally acquainted to the floor. I lowered us both and gathered her into my arms. She struggled weakly before collapsing against my chest. She was sweating and shivering at the same time. “I’m sorry,” she sniffled. “I’m a bitch when I’m sick. It’s because I so rarely get ill, that when I do, it’s BAD.”

“It’s okay, Bella,” I said as I kissed her temple. “I wasn’t very nice and I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings but you don’t look good. You’re so pale and clammy, baby.”

“I feel like ass,” she whimpered. “I’m so afraid to eat because I hate puking. I could never be bulimic.” I stiffened at that comment since I knew my sister had a bout where she puked every meal up. “Shit, I’m just shooting myself in the foot. That was insensitive.”

“It’s okay,” I said as I held her close. I could even feel that Bella lost some weight. Her waist was normally pretty ‘squishy’ but it wasn’t as such. “How about this? Why don’t you try to eat some broth and crackers? If you can’t keep it down, then I’ll give you the Reglan.”

“Pill or shot?”

“I got both,” I answered. “But, I’d have to shoot it in your ass.” I smirked, slightly excited that I could see Bella’s butt. “But, you wouldn’t risk throwing up the pill. It’ll make you pretty sleepy, though.”

“I know,” she sighed. “I’m sorry, Edward.”

“Why are you apologizing? You didn’t do anything wrong,” I said as I helped her up. I could have picked her up but not today. I was dragging and I didn’t want to drop her. I tucked her back into her bed and sat down next to her. She picked at her broth and nibbled on her crackers. However, she got maybe two bites in before she tossed the bowl onto the nightstand and running to the bathroom. Shit. She fell to her knees and proceeded to hurl what she had eaten into the toilet, just barely making it. I sat behind her as gently rubbed her back as she violently threw up. “I’m sorry that you’re feeling horrible, Bella.”

“Make it stop,” she wailed.

“Do you think you can shower? Getting the feeling of puke off your body might help. Then put on some warm, comfy pajamas,” I said. “I’ll take care of you, sweet girl.”

“What about the meds?” she asked as she flushed the toilet, sitting on the closed lid.

“After you shower,” I said. She sighed and nodded. I turned on the shower and left her to take care of herself. I would have liked to help her in there, but we were not ready for that. Not yet. Well, I was but Bella was not. I grabbed some warm pajamas and a hoodie from her closet. I also swiped a pair of panties from her dresser before placing it on the counter of the bathroom. While she showered. I put the food into the kitchen and stripped her bed. I put on a set of fresh sheets, knowing that clean sheets would make me feel better. I also readied the Reglan shot. Now, I would have preferred her being in the hospital with an IV bag so I could rehydrate her but this will have to do. Thank goodness, I’m off until the day my sister is coming into the hospital. And so will Bella. She’s not going in tomorrow night. Not until she’s able to keep REAL food down.

Bella came back into the bedroom and promptly burst into tears. Crap! What did I do?  “What’s wrong, Bella?” I asked, nervously wringing my hands. Unable to talk, she pointed to the bed and more tears fell onto her cheeks. I got up and wrapped her in my arms. She felt much, much warmer. I felt her face as I brushed her wet hair back. Definitely warmer. “Sweet girl, shhhh…it’s okay, baby.” Her arms hugged my waist but she was so weak that I barely registered the pressure. “Come on, let me give you your medicine. We’ll try getting you to eat in a few hours, okay?” She nodded and pulled away. She lowered her waist of her pajama bottoms and the very top of her ass was displayed for me. Using an alcohol wipe, I sterilized the injection site. I removed the lid of the syringe and plunged it into the creamy skin of her butt. Bella hissed and shot me a look. “Sorry,” I mumbled.

“Where are your gloves?” she teased.

“Oh, please. Our tongues have tangled. Besides, I’m confident in my injection giving skills to not clip myself,” I said as I put the lid back on the syringe.“In bed, Miss Swan.” I took her hand and led her to the bed. She was already feeling the effects of the anti-nausea medication that I gave her. Her eyes were at half-mast.
“I’m sorry that you had to come home from work to take care of me,” she mumbled sleepily. “You were on for three days…you should be sleeping.”

“Bella, I’m right where I want to be. Let me take care of you,” I said as I crawled in bed next to her, slipping off my sneakers. However, she was already snoozing. Her quiet snores filled the room and I chuckled. I pulled her to my body and laid her head on my chest, right above my heart. “I’ll always take care of you, Bella.” She sighed and snuggled closer to me. My own eyes drooped and I fell asleep rather quickly, holding my sick girl.

The rest of the night was spent sleeping and trying to get Bella to eat. However, she was so fearful of throwing up that she wouldn’t eat more than a few bites of a cracker or a sip or two of broth. The next morning, Bella was as weak as a kitten but determined to be able to work the midnight shift. I knew it wasn’t going to happen. This strain of the flu was brutal and kicked many people on their asses. As much as I hated doing it, I already spoke with Angela and she agreed to cover Bella’s shift. That’s if I can convince my girl that it’s in her best interest to stay home.

It was nearly seven in the evening and Bella was trying to shower. However, she had not really eaten and was still very dizzy, running a low-grade fever and was exhausted. “I don’t know how I’m going to make it through my shift,” she grumbled as she dragged her feet.

“Simple. Don’t go in,” I said as I leaned against her headboard. Bella shot me a look. “Bella, you haven’t eaten anything in how many days?”

“I don’t know. Two?” she answered.

“You’re running a fever and you are seriously too weak,” I rationalized. “Could you run a code without passing out?”

“Um, I could run the code but would collapse afterward,” she said as she ran her hand through her long brown hair.

“Bella, you need to rest. Just one more night. You’ll be fine tomorrow,” I said.

“Edward, I need my paycheck. My savings is dwindling,” she frowned. “I’m not paying for my dad’s bills, now. But I’ve got my own. I’d like to get a laptop or something and I can’t do that if I don’t have money. That clothing spree really killed my bank account.”

“Bella, I’m going to tell it to you straight. If you go in, you’d be a danger to your patients. What if you’re so tired and you give the wrong medication to the wrong patient,” I said. “For certain you’d get time off…you’d be suspended. Without pay. Please, sweet girl. Angela already offered to take your shift.”

Bella pursed her lips and glowered at me. “When did you ask her?”

“At lunch,” I smiled crookedly. Panty dropper smile, don’t fail me now. Bella huffed and crossed her arms over her very voluptuous breasts. She sat down at her desk and continued to scowl at me. “Bella, please? Do you want to know why I worked for three days straight? Because of this very reason. Sick doctors. This flu is awful and it lingers. Ang would probably be fine with switching a few shifts with you if you need the money. But you cannot go in tonight.”

“Let me talk to Ang,” Bella said tersely. She got up and shakily left her room. I listened and Angela reiterated what I just told Bella, saying that she was in no state to work. If her fever broke, she could go in on Tuesday, her next scheduled day for work. Begrudgingly, Bella acquiesced and came back into bedroom. She sat down at the her desk and leaned on her arms.

“You’re mad at me,” I frowned.

“Sort of,” she answered. “I get why you talked to her. I’m exhausted and I still feel like total ass, but I’d rather be the one to make the decision. Not you. Not Angela.”

“Bella, I’m sorry if I overstepped my bounds, but I don’t want you to get even sicker or throw up on a patient or something,” I chuckled. Bella looked up at me and scowled. “What? Newton did it and the patient then threw up on him. Waaaaay too much vomit in a tiny room.”

Bella turned slightly green and she darted out of the bedroom. Based off the sounds I heard, she was puking up her meager dinner. Shortly after the puking stopped, I heard some water going and teeth brushing. Bella came back into the bedroom, still looking a little worse for wear. “Don’t mention vomit for the foreseeable future, Edward,” she whimpered. “How come you’re not sick? I mean, you slept with me last night and were surrounded by the funk for the past three days!”

“I’ve got the constitution of an ox,” I said as I pounded my chest. Bella rolled her eyes and picked up the newspaper sitting on her desk. “What are you looking at?”

“Laptops,” she said. “I would like to get one but I don’t know if I could feasibly afford it. If there’s a good deal at one of the stores, I’ll get it, but it’s highly unlikely that they’ll have a laptop for free.”

“Probably not,” I snorted. “Come here, sweet girl. You need to rest and probably should get another dose of Reglan.”

“So, I can sleep and drool on your chest again?” she deadpanned.

“No. So I can see your left ass cheek,” I winked.

“Jerk,” she laughed as she tossed the papers into the garbage. “I don’t want another shot. And if you want to see my ass, you can just ask.”

“Okay. Can I see your ass?” I quipped.

“No, Edward,” she giggled as she curled up against my chest.

“Come on!” I whined like a five year old brat. “I asked.”

“I said you can ask but I never said that I’d let you see my ass,” she bellowed. Then she grabbed her stomach. “Ouch, don’t laugh to hard. Doesn’t feel pleasant on my poor abdominal muscles.”

“Go drool on your own pillow,” I pouted. “You teased me about seeing your ass and then no follow-through.”

“Edward, I just spent the better part of three days puking. I do not feel desirable at the moment,” she explained. “I’ve been a clammy, sweaty mess. Plus, you can land helicopters on it, my ass is so big.”

“Bella, stop,” I growled. “Don’t put yourself down. I like that you have an ass. Not a non-existent, flat as a pancake ass. It gives me more to grab.” Bella got very quiet, rolling to face away from me. “Sweet girl, what is it?” She shook her head and clutched her beluga whale to her chest. “Did I fuck up? I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to offend you, Bella. You’re so beautiful to me. Even though you’re sick.” She sniffled and curled up into a tight ball. “Baby?”

“I’m fine,” she cried. “Just emotional. Turning into pathetic, sobbing girl.”

“You’re not pathetic. But, I don’t understand why you’re crying,” I said as I rolled her to look at me.

“A combination of a couple things. Number one, just feeling like crap because of the flu,” she answered. “Number two, I’m emotional because I’m PMSing. Number three, major insecure moment. Why you would want to see my jiggly butt is beyond me?” I growled and narrowed my eyes. “Did you just growl?”

“I did because you’re really not learning. Do. Not. Put. Yourself. Down,” I said as I kissed her forehead and moved down to her lips. “You are gorgeous and perfect for me. What do I have to do to make you see that?”

“I’m trying. I really am. But this illness kicked my ass,” she sighed. “When I feel like crap because I’m sick, it transfers to my self-esteem.”

“I understand. I feel the same way, sweet girl. It’s rare when I get sick but when I do, steer clear. I’m wimpy, whiny and just downright unpleasant to be around,” I snickered. “You just slept.”

“And puked.”

“And puked,” I said sympathetically.  “And based off your eyes, you need more sleep.”

“Don’t you have to go home?” she mumbled tiredly. I knew she was giving me shit due to the half smirk on her face.

“I’d rather be with you. Especially since you’re still feeling like crap,” I explained, wrapping my arms around her. “I’ll have to get up early since I have to work tomorrow morning, but as long as you’re okay with me staying…” Bella was snoring quietly, clutching my waist as tightly as she could. “I’ll take that as okay.” I kissed her forehead and turned off the lights. I set my alarm for my cell phone and quickly joined her in slumber.

xx APFL xx

I hated to leave Bella in the morning but I had to go back to my brownstone. I needed to get some fresh clothes and at least start a load of laundry. I left Bella a note on her bed and tucked her whale into her arms. She pouted when I kissed her forehead, almost like she was asking for a kiss on the lips. I gladly gave it to her and left her apartment. I drove back to my place, showered and changed. Not wanting to deal with the contacts, I put on my glasses and headed to the hospital.

At work, it appeared that the worst of the flu had gone past us. Most everyone was back from their illnesses. Including Newton. That asshole was getting on my last nerve. Since it was slow, I was doing some inventory in the trauma rooms and stocking necessities. Newton came in and was giving me shit.

“You know, you don’t have to do that, Edward,” he snorted.

“In case you haven’t noticed, Dr. Newton,” I began, using his title, reminding him to do the same with me, 
“We’re down a handful of nurses. They normally do this but since we are short so many people, I’d figure I’d help. You’ll get more respect from the nursing staff that way.”

“That fat ass, Swine, does this job just fine,” he said as he picked up what he was looking for. “She can’t do anything right on the floor because she’s too fat.”

“Dr. Newton! Do you want to be written up for harassment?” I snarled. “Bella is an amazing nurse and has more bedside manner in her pinky finger than you do in your whole body.”

“Whatever, Edward,” Newton growled. “She’s a fucking lard ass, lazy bitch that couldn’t even come in for her shift last night. She was probably too busy eating bon bons to come to work.”

“That’s it! You’re getting a letter in your file. One more outburst and you will be escorted off the campus until I can meet with Dr. Sanchez regarding your unprofessional behavior,” I snapped. “Meet me at my office in an hour to sign your letter. If you’re not there without notification, then you will be suspended. Do I make myself clear?”

“You’re fucking her. You’re fucking Nurse Swine,” he seethed.

“You’re done, Dr. Newton. Go to your locker and pack up your belongings. Dr. Sanchez or myself will contact you regarding your behavior after we’ve discussed this,” I said coldly, narrowing my eyes. “Hand me the chart and I’ll take over your patient’s care.” Newton flung the chart on the ground and stomped out of the trauma room like a petulant child. He nearly ran over Lauren who had a complete 180 turn around as he left the trauma room. She came inside and her eyes were wide.

“Dr. Cullen, your father needs to speak with you. He’s on line two,” she said.

“Thank you, Lauren. Can you pick up that chart and see to the patient’s needs? I’ll be there in a few moments,” I explained. She nodded and left after she picked up the chart. I walked to the phone and picked it up. “Yes, dad?”

“Edward,” he croaked.

“Not you, too,” I groaned. “Jesus, this flu is killing everyone.”

“It is. Listen, I know that you are swamped down there…”

“Not swamped, Dad. It’s slow for some strange reason,” I replied.

“Anyhow, I’ve got several emergent cases that I know you can handle. You’re a board certified trauma surgeon,” Carlisle chuckled, then coughed violently. “I need to go home.”

“I have to pass off my cases to other doctors and then write up Newton for being a colossal ass. I’ll be up in an hour or so?” I said. “What am I getting?” My dad rattled off three surgeries. Two of which I’d be the head surgeon. The third, I was assisting. I asked him why his staff couldn’t do it and he mentioned that they were also dealing with illness. The only staff that was available were residents and two interns. They couldn’t perform surgery without an attending. All elective surgery was cancelled and I apparently was handling the emergent cases until my dad got better. It also meant that I got to spend the night in my office. Again.

Damn. It.

I hung up the phone with my dad and checked on Newton’s patient. It was a pretty simple suturing situation in the forearm. I gave the patient after-care instructions and discharged them. The rest of my patients were distributed to Dr. Crowley, Dr. Denali and Dr. Marcus, a female pediatrician looking to get into pediatric emergency medicine. Once my patients were divvied up, I went to my office and wrote up Dr. Newton for his unprofessional comments about Bella and myself. I sent it off to Dr. Sanchez who was on tomorrow. I was not going to mention it to Bella until it was necessary.

I rode up to the surgical floor and sent Bella a text. As much as I hated it, I needed her to mind my house. I hadn’t really been there in nearly five days except my shower this morning. I sent her a text since I didn’t want to wake her if she was sleeping. Apparently she wasn’t. She called me back.

“What do you need me to do?” she asked, sounding much more alert than yesterday.

“Before I ask favors, how are you feeling?”

“I’m better. I was able to eat some toast and an entire bottle of Gatorade. That is some nasty-ass shit,” she grumbled. “Now, what do you want, Edward?”

“Can you go to my house?” I asked, biting my lip. “I started a load of laundry and I probably won’t be able to come home tonight. I’m covering my dad’s shift up on the surgical floor.”

“You’re a surgeon?”

“Trauma surgeon. I can perform emergency cases, like appendectomies, exploratory laporatomies, and a few others. Up on the surgical floor, they have a skeleton crew of a few residents. They need an attending to perform surgeries. That would be me,” I chuckled.

“Okay, I’ll go to your place. What do you need to me to do? And how am I going to get in?”

“To get in, just use the garage. The code to open the door is 1979, the year of my birth,” I cringed. “I leave the entrance from the garage open. But, in the bowl on my kitchen counter, there’s a spare set of keys to my house. It’s on a red Space Needle keychain. Take those with you. I’ve been meaning to give you a set of my house keys for awhile.” My face flamed when I said that. I would have rather presented them to her in some lavish set up but that obviously is out the window.

“You want me to have keys to your place? Are you sure?”

“I’m positive, sweet girl,” I said as I slipped into the surgeons lounge. It was empty, thankfully. “I want to share everything with you, Bella. My home, my family, and most importantly, my heart.” I heard quiet tears on the line. “Don’t cry, Bella. I didn’t mean…”

“Happy tears. And I’m still an emotional wreck from Aunt Flo,” she laughed. “Okay, I’ll go to your place and take care of the laundry. If I’m feeling up to it, perhaps I’ll make you some dinner and bring it to the hospital. But don’t count on it. I’m still pretty blech.”

“Thank you, Bella. I appreciate it so much,” I said. My heart swelled at her generosity and kindness. Not to mention that she was insanely beautiful and mine. We spoke for a few more minutes before she hung up and I checked in with my dad. He looked like total shit. As soon as he briefed me on the patients, I shoved him out the door after I called Dr. Denali to give him a prescription for some anti-nausea medication.

After the three surgeries, it was nearly ten at night. I showered quickly and headed down to my office, checking on the ER. Ben was at the circulation desk. I told him that I was ‘unofficially’ on duty on the surgical floor. All surgical consults were to go through me. I told him the resident that was assigned to the ER and I told Ben to page me as well. He smiled and made the note on the board. I headed back to my office and crashed on my couch. But I didn’t get much. Around one, a car accident rolled in and there three passengers. Two of which were surgical patients. I sent up the more stable of the patients to the ICU and grabbed the surgical resident to perform the needed abdominal surgery for the first patient. He would be performing it and I’d assist.

After those two surgeries, I dragged my exhausted body back to my office around four in the morning when the assistant chief of surgery, Dr. Benton,  came in from his vacation. He saw my drawn, tired eyes and said that I was done. I thanked him and left the floor. My lumpy leather sofa in my office never felt more comfortable.

“Edward!” I heard. “Wake up!”

“Go away, Mom,” I mumbled before rolling to face the back of my couch.

“Eddie, it’s not Mom.”

I cracked open an eye and standing above me was a very smug Rosalie. “What are you doing here?”

“Remember? I had my appointment with the therapist here today. We’re going out to lunch,” she said, biting her lip.

“What time is it?”

“One in the afternoon,” she replied.

“Fuck! I slept through the morning of my shift,” I growled as I shot up from the couch.

“Dr. Sanchez is covering your shift,” Rose said. “He heard about your night on the surgical floor and he came in. Daddy called in a favor.” She was wringing her hands and shuffling her feet. Obviously, nervous about my outburst.

“Rosie, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell,” I said as I pulled her into my arms. “Last night was fucking hell and I crashed on the couch. I must have slept through my alarm.” Rose melted against me and she buried her nose against my scrub top.

I heard a quiet knock at my door and I looked up. Bella poked her head inside and her eyes widened at me holding Rose. “Um, I’m sorry. I was…um…never mind,” she said as her voice cracked. She spun around, slamming the door shut.

 Rose pulled away and she stared at the door. “Who was that?”

“My very insecure and skittish girlfriend,” I said as I looked at Rose. “Stay here, okay?” Rose nodded and I darted out of the office and down to the circulation desk, frantically searching for Bella. Angela was chatting with Alice. “Have you seen Bella?” I asked.

“She left in a hurry, saying that she felt like shit. Not fully a hundred percent,” Alice answered. “She threw up in the bathroom and then left.”

“She wanted me to give you this,” Angela said as she handed me my keys. “Is everything okay?”

“Fuck, no. Bella came into my office and I was hugging my sister,” I growled. “She must have gotten the wrong idea and obviously left.”

“Dr. Cullen,” Eleazar said with a wide grin. “Back from the dead, I see?”

“Yes,” I said curtly. “Thank you for coming in for me. I’m sorry…”

“Don’t apologize. I heard about the drama upstairs on the surgical floor. However, since you’re here, can we meet about your suspension of Dr. Newton?”

Ugh, now? I’ve got my sister in my office and my girlfriend who thinks I’m boinking said sister. 

“Sure. Let me just talk to Rose, my younger sister, and tell her that I need reschedule lunch.”

“Of course, Edward,” he said as he nodded. “I’ll be in my office.” He turned and left.

“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” I spat. “Why now?”

“Deep breaths, Edward,” Alice soothed. “Bella will understand.”

“No, she won’t. She doesn’t trust many and I’ve finally made headway and now, this!” I whipped out my cell phone and sent her a text. Bella, it’s not what you think! The blonde is my sister! – Edward

*This number is no longer in service*

I growled and pinched my nose. She blocked me. Or she got a new phone…In ten minutes? Fifteen minutes? “I don’t know what to do.”

“Come home with me, Edward,” Angela offered. “She’ll have to listen to you if you corner her in the apartment.”

“That’s my best bet,” I said wearily. “When do you get off?”

“Four,” she replied. “She’ll understand. She has to.”

“I hope so,” I said dejectedly. I jogged back to my office and found Rose looking at the medical books in my bookcase. “I’ve got to reschedule, Rosie.”

“I’m sorry about what happened with Bella,” she frowned. “Is everything alright with her?”

“No. She left, claiming she was still ‘sick’ and when I tried to text her, she blocked my calls,” I pouted. “I was getting ready to go after her when Dr. Sanchez stopped me to discuss a disciplinary issue that arose yesterday. I had to suspend a doctor per the new harassment policy.”

“Okay,” she said. “Can I borrow this book, Edward?” She plucked one of the texts on mental illness from the book shelf. I nodded. “Thanks. I’m thinking that I’m going to change my focus on what I want to do. 
Once I get better, I want to become a shrink. You know?”

“I think that’s great, Rosie,” I said. “I’ll help you in any way I can.” She smiled crookedly and turned to leave. “How are you getting home?”

“Cab. I need to get over my fears,” she said. “Royce is back behind bars and I’ve got my pepper spray.”

“Text me as soon as you get home, Rose,” I said sternly. She nodded and kissed my cheek, leaving my office. I went in and brushed my teeth. Dousing my hands with water, I ran my fingers through my hair and I left my office, picking up the file on I had on Newton before heading to Eleazar’s office. His door was open and Eleazar was seated behind his desk. “You ready to talk about Dr. Newton?”

“Yes,” Eleazar said with a tight smile. “I read your suspension papers and what he said was brutally harsh toward Nurse Swan and toward you. But, I have to ask, not that it matters to me, but are you and Nurse Swan in a relationship?”

“We are. Or at least, I hope we are,” I frowned. “We had a disagreement earlier and I was getting ready to 
go when you stopped me to discuss Newton.”

“Will this relationship cause any issues in your ability to do your job?” Eleazar asked, arching a brow.

“No, sir. Bella and I make a great team,” I answered confidently. That is if she listens to me. “However, our relationship is not at stake here. It’s the biting words that Newton said about Bella and the insinuations he made regarding our relationship. I would never use my power to further her career or to protect her.”
“I know that but Newton may perceive it as favoritism,” Eleazar sighed. “Now, this is not the first time that I’ve heard about Newton’s dislike for Bella. His rude comments are unprofessional and unfounded. Bella performs her job admirably and I agree with your decision to suspend him. How long?”

“A week?” I suggested.

“Seems fair. In addition to that, he’ll have to attend an ethics class on how to treat his coworkers professionally. Lauren took the class and her turn around is profound,” Eleazar said.

“We may want to encourage all of the staff in the ER to take the class,” I said. “Lauren, Jessica and Dr. Newton are not the only ones who act unprofessionally toward their coworkers.”

“That’s wise. Nurse Swan’s list of tormentors is quite extensive,” Eleazar said sadly. “I only wished that she would have come to me sooner.”

“She was afraid, Eleazar. She still is. Bella hasn’t had the easiest life and she has no self-esteem,” I said, rubbing the keys in my pocket. “Please don’t let on that I told you. I don’t want to betray her confidence but she’s so sad, lonely and unloved. The teasing here is the easiest part of her life.”

“I never knew,” Eleazar whispered. He looked at me and his brown eyes stared at me. “You love her, don’t you?”

The empty pit in my stomach that I ‘betrayed her’ dropped. My eyes filled with tears and I nodded. “Very much, Eleazar. My brother teased me that it’s my ‘superhero’ complex kicking in but it’s not. I love her and I want to show her what it’s like to receive that love.”

“Well, I won’t keep you from your girl,” Eleazar chuckled. “I just need your signature on this form and I’ll have this delivered to Dr. Newton’s place of residence. He’ll be off until next Tuesday and he’ll have to complete the ethics class by June 1st or be suspended until he completes the class.” I nodded and signed the paperwork. Eleazar winked at me and I darted out of his office. I threw on my coat and ran past the circulation desk.

“Edward! Here!” Angela called as she tossed me her keys. I caught them easily. “Good luck!”

“Thanks, Ang,” I said as smiled on my way out and to the parking garage. I hopped into my car and drove to Bella and Angela’s apartment. I parked my car in the visitor spot and headed inside. I rode up to Bella’s floor in the elevator and as I was exiting the elevator, that creeper, James was getting on. He scowled at me, bumping my shoulder as he moved past me. Wow, rude much? I walked down the hallway and let myself into the apartment. It was quiet inside. A clear indication that Bella wasn’t home yet. I checked in her room just to make sure and it was empty. Her journal was on her nightstand. If she wouldn’t listen to me, then I’d at least get a chance to write to her. I grabbed it and a pen, sitting at her desk.

January 22nd, 2013

Dearest Bella,

I know what you saw was probably very incriminating, but I assure you. Nothing was happening. That woman that I was hugging was my sister. My baby sister, Rosalie. I was supposed to go out for lunch with her today and introduce the two of you to each other. But, after my hellish night up on the surgical floor, I crashed on my couch. I slept until my sister woke up me at one. I snapped at her and she freaked out. I was hugging her to comfort her since I lost my temper. It was completely innocent. 
I promise you. Please, believe me, Bella!

When I saw your face, my heart broke and I wanted nothing more than to follow you and tell you everything. My heart broke even more when Angela handed me my house keys. Bella, I would never say something I don’t mean and I want to share everything with you. I want to give everything to you. My heart. My soul. My love…

Bella, I know it’s quick, but today, I realized that I’m unequivocally in love with you. I love you, Isabella Swan. There it is. Black and white. In writing. I’ll even add some hearts around it.

<3, <3, <3…

See? (Yeah, that’s lame. But, I tried. An artist, I’m not. I’ll stick with doctoring and music.)

I love you, Bella. I want to scream it from the rooftops. 

I understand if you are not ready to say it back to me, but I can’t deny how I feel for you anymore. You mean TOO much for me, sweet girl. I also understand why you freaked out when you saw me with Rosalie. But, she’s my sister. That would be fucked up if I was thinking about my sister that way. 
Ew…

Besides, the only woman I want think about making love to is you, Bella. I hope that you give me the chance to say this to you but if not, at least I said my piece here. I’m sorry if I inadvertently hurt you. It wasn’t my intention, sweet girl. I don’t ever want to see you hurt. I want to see you happy.

Please forgive me, Bella.

I love you,

 Edward

I closed the book and put it on the nightstand. With a sigh, I walked into the living room and flipped through some channels before settling on some inane show on the History Channel about a pawn shop. A few hours later, Angela rang up to the apartment and I let her in. Ang frowned when she saw that Bella was still not home. Angela tried Bella’s cell phone but it went straight to voicemail. Where was she?

An hour or so later, Bella came into the apartment. Her eyes were red and puffy. Her cheeks were flushed pink from being out in the cold  and she looked so broken. Very much like she first looked when I saw her. Angela gave me a hard look before walking over to Bella, hugging her tightly. “What happened, honey?”

“I trusted him and he broke my heart,” she sobbed against Ang.

“Did you talk to him?” Angela asked, looking at me. I hid behind the wall to listen.

“No, but he looked so guilty when I went into his office, Angela,” she said.

“Bella, listen to him. Talk to him,” Angela cooed as she brushed Bella’s hair from her face. “Where were you?”

“My mom’s grave,” she sniffled. “I needed to talk to someone and well, the person that I usually turn to is the one that hurt me.”

“Bella?” I whispered as I moved from my spot. Bella looked at me and her brown eyes looked dead. Then, they flashed with anger.

“Get out,” she snarled. “You’re no better than Jacob, you asshole!”

“Bella, listen to him,” Angela snapped.

“Ang, it’s okay,” I said, my shoulders slumping. “Just make sure you read your journal, Bella. Please?” Bella looked at me coldly and stomped into Angela’s bathroom, slamming the door shut.

“What did you write in her journal?” Angela asked.

“She’ll have to read it to find out,” I muttered. “Thanks for trying.” I reached into my pants pocket and placed my house keys on the side table. “Just in case, you know?” Angela nodded and looked at me sympathetically. I left and walked to my car. I was defeated but hopefully Bella would read what I had to say in the journal entry and realize that she misconstrued the embrace as something else. I’d wait for her. 
However, right now, I felt empty and hurt that she didn’t trust me or even want to talk to me.

I don’t remember the drive home but I got there. I went inside and dragged my ass up to the bedroom. My stomach was snarling at me since I had eaten really since the day before. But, I couldn’t even fathom stomaching any food. I was too upset. However, on my bed, I noticed all of my clothes were folded and a note from Bella sitting on the nightstand.

Dear Edward,

I would have put things away but I didn’t want to snoop around in your dresser. I did hang up the clothes that required hanging and I ironed your khakis. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow!

Yours,

Bella

I crumpled the note and tears fell onto my cheeks. Why wouldn’t she talk to me? Fuck! I mean, I was hugging my sister. Not my ex-wife or a co-worker. I was hugging Rosalie. The girl that needs my love more than Bella. With a roar, I flung the clothes all along the ground and fell onto the carpet, sobbing like a fucking baby. I know I was overtired. I know I was overreacting, too, but I was so god damned frustrated. My cell phone rang and I checked the number. It was Rose.

“Yeah?” I asked, trying to hide the fact that I was crying.

“Have you kissed and made up?” she asked, laughing nervously.

“No. She threw me out of her apartment,” I said as I leaned against my bed.

“Ouch,” Rose hissed. “Did you get a chance to talk?”

“Nope. But I did get there before she did. Angela gave me her keys,” I explained.

“Who’s Angela?”

“Bella’s roommate,” I said. “Anyhow, I got there and I wrote in her journal. I told her I loved her, Rosie.”

“Do you really love her, Edward?” Rose asked somberly. “You can’t play with her emotions like that if you’re not in love with her.”

“I am, Rose,” I said as more tears fell down my cheeks. “I’m more upset about this disagreement than I was at the end of my marriage. I’m crying like a fucking baby and I want her. I want her so badly, Rose.”

“Eddie,” Rose said quietly. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin…”

“It wasn’t you, Rosie. It’s her. Bella is so downtrodden that she doesn’t trust anybody. Besides, what she perceived in my office happened to her when she was in college. Her ex-boyfriend took her virginity and never called her. The next time they saw each other, he had a busty, skinny blonde on his arm,” I sighed. 
“She probably saw your frame and hair and immediately thought the worst.”

“And you said that you loved her in her journal?”

“I did. Rose, despite her weight and her lack of self-esteem, I fucking need her,” I said as I curled on the ground, resting my head on knees. I clamped my eyes shut and bit my lip to stop the sobs that threatened to erupt from my mouth.

“Eddie,” Rose sniffled. “She’s a fool if she doesn’t give you a chance to explain yourself. But, I’m guessing she’s reading that journal entry as we speak and she’s going to realize what happened and everything will work out.”

“I hope so, Rosie,” I sighed. “Look, I better clean up my temper tantrum. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“Okay,” she said. “I love you, Eddie.”

“Love you, too, Rosie. Sorry about bailing on lunch. I’ll make it up to you, okay?”

“You better,” she laughed. Her tinkling laughter was the last I heard before she hung up the phone. While my relationship with my girlfriend was falling to pieces, Rosalie was starting to improve and I could see my baby sister again. Woodenly, I put my clothes away and stripped off my scrubs. I put on a pair of sweatpants and t-shirt before heading down to my piano room. I kept my cell phone next to me in case Bella called. I sat down and began playing through some pretty melancholy music. I don’t know how long I sat there, playing my depressing music, but I could have sworn that I heard my door open. I shook my head and began playing a softer, sweeter melody that reminded me of Bella. It had a jazzy undertone, like the music we danced to at the Shedd Aquarium. Please, be here and listen to me, Bella. Please!

“That’s beautiful,” I heard behind me.

“Thank you,” I replied  not turning but continuing to play. I finished the phrase and turned around, seeing a very upset Bella behind me. I wanted to comfort her but I was still pretty upset myself since she wouldn’t listen to me. “I take it you read my journal entry.”

Tears spilled over cheeks. “I was a bitch, Edward,” she whimpered. Her eyes closed and she let out a shuddering breath. “I should have talked with  you but I was blinded by what I saw. It was Jacob all over again…”

“I’ve told you that I’m not Jacob,” I whispered.

“Angela really laid into me after you left. She told me that the blonde was your sister and that I was overreacting and not being fair. I should have listened to you. And she’s right,” Bella murmured. “Look, I know that you probably hate me but I wanted to apologize for being so horrible to you.”

“Bella, I don’t hate you,” I sighed. “Did you read the journal?”

“No. I saw the journal and started sobbing because it was the journal you gave me. I just knew that I fucked up and I couldn’t pick it up,” she sniffled. “I fucked up, Edward. I’m a horrible, wretched person and…”

I shot up from the piano bench and walked over to her. I gathered her in my arms. She stiffly fell against my chest, crying quietly. “You’re not horrible or wretched. Bella, I understand why you reacted the way you did but it hurt me when you wouldn’t even listen to what I had to say. I know a lot of it has to do with the fact that you are still hesitant to trust but have I done anything prior to today that indicated that I’m not trustworthy?”

“No. You’ve been amazing. An amazing friend, a wonderful and caring boyfriend…God! You’re going to break up with me. Is that what you put in the journal?  A Dear John letter?” she wailed. “I’m such a fool!”

“Bella, I would not do that to you. I would not break up with via journal entry. That’s horrible,” I said. I pulled away and led her to the couch in my piano room. She was still crying and looked so fucking broken. I sighed and forced her to look at me. Her eyes were sad and dejected. “I explained who I was holding. It was my sister, Rose. We were supposed to go out for lunch but since I had the night from hell up on the surgical floor, I crashed on my couch. Rose woke me up and I freaked out which caused her to freak out. You came in just as I was hugging her because she started having a slight panic attack. This was the first time she was out without anyone with her since her attack.”

“So, the blonde was your sister?” Bella asked, skeptically, quirking her brow.

“Yes,” I breathed. “Bella, do you want to know what else I wrote in your journal?”

“Is it good or bad?” she asked.

“Good, sweet girl,” I said as I took her face in my hands. “In your journal I said what I wanted to give you. I want to give you my heart, my soul and my love, Bella. I’m so in love with you that it hurts.”

“What?”

“Bella, I love you,” I whispered reverently. “I’m upset at how you acted but it doesn’t change that I love you so much. But, you’ve got to trust me, baby. I will never, EVER intentionally hurt you. I love you too much to do that.”

“You love me? Why?” she asked.

“You’re impossible not to love, Bella. You’re so smart, giving, compassionate, and beautiful. However, you are stubborn as a mule and you’ve got a temper. Damn. Remind me to never get on your bad side. Now, I don’t expect you to say it back. I had to tell you. I had get you to understand how much I care for you. That I’m in this for the long haul. But, please don’t push me away, beautiful.”

“You’re right that I’m not ready to say it back to you, Edward,” she murmured. “I need to get to the point where I do trust you implicitly. Obviously based off my reaction of what happened today, I still have residual trust issues and I’ll be bringing that up with Michele. However, I can say that I strongly like you a lot, Edward.”

“I can handle that,” I smirked. “Now, we survived our first fight and do you know that means?”

“What?”

“Make up cuddling,” I smirked.

“Isn’t it usually make up sex?”

“Are you ready to have sex with me?” I asked, arching a brow over my glasses.

“No, not yet. And I’m kind of out of commission due to…” she blushed. “I’ll shut up now.”

“Bella, I’m a doctor. A little blood won’t faze me,” I smirked. “But, I want our first time to be magical. I want to give you the night that you should have had when you lost your virginity. And it sure as hell won’t be make up sex. I want to make love to you. All. Night. Long.”

She whimpered and bit her lip.

“So, for now, you’ll have deal with some make up cuddles and perhaps some make up making out,” I snorted. “And we’re going to do it in my bedroom because fuck, I’m exhausted.” I stood up and dragged Bella up with me. I bent down and picked her up in a fireman’s carry. She squealed and kicked her legs. I carried her to my bedroom and plopped her in my bed. I bent down and kissed her deeply, sweeping my tongue inside of her hot, wet mouth. “Bella?”

“Yes,” she said breathily.

“I do love you and don’t ever doubt that,” I said solemnly. “That will never ever change.” She smiled shyly and pulled me down to cover her body with mine. Her lips tentatively brushed along my mouth and she tangled her hands into my hair. We made out until we both were riled up beyond all help. I could have used a cold shower and I know that Bella was turned on as she ground her hips against my arousal. However, I ended our make up make out session. It was still pretty PG, bordering on PG-13. I didn’t want to push her too quickly. I did cup her ass and grazed my hands along the sides of her breasts while we made out. But, nothing more than that. Bella went to the bathroom and I stripped out of my sweatpants and t-shirt. I crawled onto the mussed up bed and waited for her to come out of the bathroom. Soon, she was in my arms and we were cuddling with each other. I was exhausted and it wasn’t long before my eyes began drooping. Just as my mind began to slip into unconsciousness, I heard it.

“I love you, too, Edward.”

A/N: I told you there would be some goofy perceptions…Anyhow, it’s been resolved though I wanted to smack Bella silly in this chapter. I understand why she reacted the way she did but dayum, listen to Dr. Sexward Tattward. He’s beautiful and WISE. And beautiful. Did I mention beautiful? I’ll shut up now. 

Finally, we have a lot of fun in my facebook group: Tufano79 Twilight Fanfiction Appreciation. Come join the fun. The next update will get inside of Bella’s head during the misunderstanding and move us to the ball. I’ll have a couple of dress options for Bella’s gown on my blog…please let me know which dress you like for her. As always, leave me some lovin!







Sunday, July 27, 2014

A Prescription for Love ~ Chapter Seven

This is different from the norm. In all of the stories that I’ve read or that I’ve seen, all of the characters are disgustingly perfect unless they are written with very clear flaws. This story is about love (um, duh! Look who’s writing it. I’m the queen of romance), and finding it in the least likely place with the least likely person.

Now, this story is based in a hospital. My medical training comes from…WebMD. I’m not a doctor, nor do I claim to be. I’m a music teacher who has a wild imagination and a penchant for all things Twilight (and with this story, added in a mix of ER! I loved Luca Kovac…) Which brings me to my disclaimer: None of this is mine. I’m not, nor ever will be, Stephenie Meyer. If was, I’d be rolling in the dough from her insane imagination that gave us Bella and Edward. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter Seven

BPOV

Was it a dream? Did last night really happen? Was I kissed by Edward? I slowly opened my eyes and saw that I was in my new room in Angela’s apartment. Behind me, I felt warmth. Then, a tightening around my waist. I looked over my shoulder and saw a delightfully rumpled Edward lying behind me. Traces of my lipstick on his mouth confirmed my sleepy questions. We had kissed. The swelling on his lips indicated that we had kissed a lot.

I turned in his arms and ran my fingers through his soft hair. He hummed groggily and pulled me closer to his hard body. Jesus, he’s built like a fucking god. Those abs…those pecs…and god damn it, that tattoo… 
“It’s too early, Bella,” he rumbled.

“Sorry,” I giggled. “Someone was pressing on my bladder.”

“You could have just asked,” he said, opening one bleary eye. “You look guilty.”

“I’m not guilty of anything,” I said, biting my lip. Okay, I’m guilty of blatantly ogling you while you were sleeping. Is that a bad thing?

“Uh huh. You’re biting you lip. You do that when you’re unsure or when you’re lying,” he said as his hand moved to my hip. “You seem to be pretty sure about right now so it has to indicate that you’re lying.”

“Nope,” I squeaked as I tried to wiggle out of his arms, trying not to laugh. He was very close to my ticklish spot on my side. He moved his hand up to the dip in my waist. “Please don’t.”

“Don’t what?” he asked, his green eyes dancing. He squeezed my side and I squirmed, doing a little squeak giggle combo. “Is someone ticklish?”

“Never,” I said, pressing my lips together to stop the giggles that threatened to erupt from my mouth.

“You’re a liar, Swan,” he smirked as his hand slid underneath my t-shirt and his fingers gently ran over my side, just below my ribs. I laughed, throwing my head back gleefully.

“Stop! I’ve got to pee,” I giggled. “Unless you want to deal with the clean up…”

“Okay,” he said as his hands left my body. However, he stared at me as I calmed myself. “Do you know how beautiful you are when you laugh? It’s so fucking gorgeous, Bella.”

A blushed and ducked my head. I truly couldn’t believe it. It was first thing in the morning. Gorgeous is the last thing I probably was. I wriggled and managed to get out of Edward’s embrace. I smiled as I left my bedroom and into my bathroom. I went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth. I checked my reflection in the bathroom and I honestly didn’t see the ‘beauty’ that Edward mentioned. I hadn’t taken off my makeup the night before and my mascara was smudged underneath my eyes, my hair was smashed and I had pillow lines marring my cheeks. Attractive. I washed my face and pulled my hair into a ponytail. I finished inside of the bathroom and walked back into my bedroom. Edward was leaning against the headboard of my bed, looking fucking sexy in his glasses and yeah, he was shirtless. Still.

“Do you want something for breakfast?” I asked. “I can whip up something if you like.”

“In a minute,” he said. “Can you come and sit by me?”

“Did I do something wrong?” I asked, my heart stammering.

“What? No! Bella, you did nothing wrong,” he said. “I just want to talk about us. And where we stand on our relationship.”

“Oh, okay,” I said as I climbed into the bed, sitting facing him with my legs curled underneath me. Ideally I would have liked to have been out of my pajamas and in a bra, but he seemed adamant on talking now.

“Bella, you know I like you, right?”

“I do. However, I’m still trying to figure out why,” I quipped, trying to be funny. However, based off Edward’s frown, my joke fell flat. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, Bella. It just bothers me when you put yourself down,” he said. “You’re an incredibly gorgeous woman with a big heart and loving soul. I understand why you put yourself down since you never really had anyone on your side. Anyone to tell you that you’re beautiful…but you are. So beautiful.”

“I’m trying, Edward. Fourteen years of ridicule and torment is not going to change overnight,” I said quietly. 
“I’m working on it, though.”

“I’m glad, but I have to ask…why?” he questioned, arching a brow over his glasses.

“Why am I working on getting better?” I clarified. Edward nodded. “Because, I’m ready to stop living in the shadows. Now, your friendship and attention has done a lot for my attitude, but it’s also showed me what I should be able to get. I shouldn’t be Charlie’s conduit of abuse. I shouldn’t be the nurse that everyone tortures at work. I am worth of so many things. However, I’m just not used such positive attention. I’m unaccustomed to receive compliments or praise. I was always Nurse Swine or Worthless Offspring.”

“Who called you Nurse Swine?” Edward asked, his green eyes icing over.

“Dr. Crowley and Dr. Newton. Never in front of patients or anything, but in their conversations, I heard them refer to me as that,” I blushed. “I included it in my complaint to Dr. Sanchez. Should I have included you on it?”

“I can talk to Eleazar on my next shift. Their behavior is highly unprofessional. We are all in the same business of making sure that our patients are cared for. Not to tease your co-workers,” Edward snarled. “I have yet to work with Dr. Newton but I met Dr. Crowley on my first day after I filled out the paperwork at HR. He was the one who warned me about the coffee. He also warned me about you and your ‘incompetence.’ I’m thinking I’ll be having a conversation with Dr. Crowley.”

“If you feel it’s best,” I frowned.

“It is, Bella. He was acting like a total tool and his assessment of your work is highly unwarranted. You’re one of the best nurses on the floor. And I’m not talking as your boyfriend. I’m talking as the associate head of the ER,” he said.

“Boyfriend?”

“Well, shit. I was hoping to ask you if you wanted to be, I don’t know, well…” he fumbled, “um, if you wanted to be exclusive? God, I sound like a complete idiot. I should just write you damn note. ‘Will you be my girlfriend? Yes or no?’”

“Can you hand me my journal? It’s on the nightstand,” I whispered. He furrowed his brow when he handed me the journal. “Actually, it’s for you. Write me a note.”

“Seriously?”

“Yep,” I giggled.

Edward smiled crookedly and turned to the next blank page in my journal. “Why don’t you fix us some breakfast and I’ll write you your note, okay?”

“Kay,” I said as I got up out of the bed. “Any preferences?”

“Food,” he said with a shrug. “I’m a guy. I’m like a human garbage disposal. I’ll eat anything. Except calamari. That shit tastes like deep fried rubber bands. Blech.”

“Duly noted,” I said as I headed into the kitchen. I made some coffee and decided to make some hangover food for everyone. I was fine since I stopped drinking early but I just knew that Angela was going to be feeling it today and Ben, he was probably sore from all of the sexing he got last night. I made eggs, sausage, bacon and hash browns. As I cooked, Ben came out of Angela’s room, walking like a zombie.

“BACON! Processed Pork Products!” he bellowed.

“You’re such a guy, Ben,” I snorted as I dished him a plate. “Does your other half want something?”

“No. She’s too busy worshiping the porcelain god right now,” Ben said as he plopped down at the kitchen table. “Are you alone?” Ben waggled his brows.

“No. Edward’s in my room,” I blushed.

“So, are you two ‘official’ or something?” Ben asked, digging into his breakfast.

“I think so. We were kind of talking about it when he asked for some breakfast,” I chuckled.

“Bella? Do you have any scrubs here?” Edward called from my bedroom. “I really don’t want to wear my dress clothes.”

“Hold on,” I said. “Can you mind the eggs while I get some scrubs for him?”

“Sure, Bella,” Ben smiled as he hopped up to man my spot at the stove. I headed back into my bedroom and went into the dresser that was still pretty empty. However, I did have a pair of scrubs from the hospital in there that I swiped a few weeks back that were in my messenger bag. I handed Edward the scrubs and he smiled gratefully.

“I have an extra toothbrush in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom, too,” I said as I smiled shyly at him.

“Thanks, sweet girl,” he said as he kissed my cheek. “I left you a note. Read it after I go, okay?”

 I blinked and nodded at him. He darted across the hall and did his morning routine while I went back to the kitchen to finish breakfast. Angela was sitting at the table, groaning quietly as she had her head on the formica table. “You okay, Ang?”

“Shhhhh!” she hissed. “Talk quieter. Too loud.”

“Here, Ang,” I said as a poured a glass of orange juice and handing her two ibuprofen. I also found some vitamin B in her cabinets and included that with her ibuprofen. “Drink this up, then a bottle of water. Slowly, though. You don’t want to throw it up.”

“Okay. But seriously, quiet down. You’re like yelling,” she said, glowering at me.

“Sure, Ang,” I snickered. She stuck her tongue out at me and downed her pills. Edward padded out into the kitchen and took one look at Angela and bit his lip to not laugh. I shrugged and dished him a plate of food. He sat down and I put a cup of coffee along with his plate in front of him. He rubbed his hands together happily and dug into his meal as I finished making a plate for myself. Angela just stared off into space, looking very green.

“I’m never drinking again,” she groaned.

“You say that now,” I said.

“Seriously. I hate having hangovers. Did I even make it to midnight?”

“Yeah, Angela,” Ben laughed nervously. “Don’t you remember? I mean, we…well, you know?”

“Great! I had amazing sex and I don’t even remember it? Fuck,” Angela growled, putting her head into her arms.

“Well, I guess that means I’ll have to make up for it,” Ben said with a slow grin. “You know the best cure for a hangover is orgasms. I don’t have to be at the hospital until three. We’ve got at least three hours before I have to go.”

 Angela looked up at him and smiled slowly. Then she realized she had an audience. “Um, do you mind?” she asked, blushing.

“Go ahead, Ang,” I giggled. “Don’t have too much fun and keep the screaming to the minimum.”

“I don’t scream,” Angela said flatly.

“Sorry, baby, but you do,” Ben chortled. Angela glared at him as he sprinted back to Angela’s room. She was quick to follow him. The dull thud and Ben’s shriek indicated that she had pounced on him, causing him some mild amounts of pain.

“They’re cute,” Edward laughed.

“They are. Ang has been crushing on Ben for awhile now and it’s exciting that they are finally together,” I answered. “So, what are you going to do for the rest of the day?”

“Hang out here until you kick my pasty white ass out of your place,” he smirked, leaning over his now empty plate of breakfast food. “If that’s alright.”

“That sounds nice. Do you want to watch some of the College Bowl games?”

“As long as I get to cuddle with you, sure,” he replied. I blushed. Again. “Now, you cooked breakfast, I’ll do the dishes.”

“It’s really no big…” I started.

“Go and shower and make yourself more beautiful. I’ll do the dishes,” he said as he helped me out of my chair and pushed me toward my bathroom. I turned and began to protest. Edward pointed to the bathroom. I chuckled and headed into my room, picking up some clothes to wear. I decided to be comfy and wear a pair of yoga pants and a matching hoodie. I went into the shower and scrubbed my body clean, relishing the awesome shower that I now had in my new apartment. Finishing up, I blow dried my hair, tossing it into a messy bun. I swiped some mascara on along with some lip gloss before walking out into the family room of the apartment. Edward was on the couch, flipping through some channels. When he saw me, his face broke into a radiant grin and he patted on the couch next to him. I walked towards him and sat down, curling my legs underneath me.

“I got a phone call from my brother,” Edward said as he waved his Blackberry at me. “He’s totally infatuated with Alice.”

“Really? They seemed to get pretty cozy last night,” I added.

“They did. They were a step away from public sex,” Edward snorted. “Anyhow, he said that Alice is his soul mate. Love at first sight.”

“Love at first sight?” I asked, quirking a brow.

“Do you not believe in love at first sight?”

“I believe in love but it takes time to build that rapport. Besides, love at first sight happens in fairy tales and fantasy fiction. Not reality,” I said bitterly.

“I’m sorry if I upset you, Bella,” Edward said as he moved me closer to him.

“You didn’t. I’m just jaded,” I said quietly. “I thought I was in love at first sight with Jacob.”

“What happened?” Edward asked as he laced his fingers with mine. It felt perfect to have my hand surrounded by his. I smiled and I squeezed his fingers. Edward responded by picking up our joint hands, kissing each of my knuckles.

“Well, it was my first day on campus at UIC. I had just transferred there and was in a biochemistry class. Jacob was the TA. I thought he was the most handsome man I’d ever seen. Tall, taller than you, russet colored skin, black hair, dark brown eyes, muscular, blindingly white smile, kind and very attentive. Anyhow, we had labs and after the second lab, Jacob asked if I wanted coffee. I’d never been asked out on a date so I immediately said yes. I was shocked that this guy would want to spend time with me.

“We went to a tiny coffee shop just outside of Little Italy and closed down the joint. Jacob said that he was in his last year as a pre-med major. He had already taken his MCATs and was admitted to University of Chicago.”

“You said that Jacob was twenty-two, right?” Edward asked.

“Yeah. He had to take a year off of school to help his dad who had diabetes,” I explained. Edward nodded and kissed my hand again. “Anyhow, from there, our relationship progressed to friendship on his part, but for me it was blossoming into something more. I had fallen in LOVE with Jacob and desperately wanted him. After about a month or so, Jacob finally took me out on a proper date. He picked me up at my old apartment that I shared with my dad and we went bowling and then dinner. He went on and on about how beautiful I was. I loved the attention and as we continued to date, I started to believe it.

“He gave me all of my firsts. My first kiss. My first hug from a guy that wasn’t my dad. My first ‘grope.’ However, it was all very chaste. He never really kissed me like you did last night. He just gave me innocent little pecks or nibbled on my lip.

“About six weeks later, Jacob started to get a bit more aggressive. He wanted more. I was apprehensive but since I thought he loved me and that I knew that I loved him, I was willing.”

“Did he ever say that he loved you?” Edward asked as he rubbed his thumb over my knuckles.

“No. I told him, though. But, I was so naĂŻve. He would give me underhanded compliments and hint that I needed to lose weight during our time together. He also always ordered for me when we went out, getting me a salad or soup as opposed to the massive hamburger or steak that he’d order. I also stopped eating normally as well, to get thinner for him. To make him want me. I was down to about a size ten. I was very proud of my body at that point. I had curves but I wasn’t a twig. I felt comfortable enough to show Jacob everything.

“Anyhow, he makes reservations at this hotel and we have this romantic date at the Hancock Signature Room. I’m wearing this beautiful dress and sexy lingerie underneath, anxiously waiting for the climax of the evening. After dinner, Jacob takes me on a horse-drawn carriage ride before we go into the hotel room. It’s all very romantic. Or at least, started that way. We kissed, still very chastely and slowly our clothes are removed. We fall into bed and Jacob doesn’t say anything. He just stares at me. His distaste is hidden but I could see the disgust in his eyes. I was still too fat for him. But, we continue. There’s very little foreplay. Jacob just kissed me briefly and fondled my breasts before grabbing a condom. He put it on and shoved inside of me, no care for what I was feeling.

“It hurt so badly because I really wasn’t ready for him and there was a lot of blood since he tore through my hymen. Before I knew it, my virginity was gone and Jacob had rolled over on his side, ignoring me for the rest of the night.

“The next day, he drove me back to my apartment and said he’d call. He never did,” I sniffled. “I still saw him in class but he ignored me. A few weeks later, I saw him at a party with some blonde bimbo with fake boobs and tiny waist, named Nessie, who was also in our class. He sneered at me when I saw him with her, upset that he never even ‘broke up’ with me. He just fucked me and left. After that, I gave up. I stuffed myself with all of the fattening foods and buried myself in my studying. I graduated top of my class and was offered numerous positions at many hospitals. I was this close to going to Minnesota to work at the Mayo Clinic, but decided to stay here because of my dad. He was healthy at the time, but I thought he’d get lonely.”

“Have you seen Jacob since?” Edward asked tersely, his showing his anger.

“No. Not recently,” I answered. “I ran into him one day on the el but he didn’t even acknowledge me. He just looked right through me, ignoring me. I honestly hope I never see him again. From what I’ve heard, he’s a first-class douche.”

“You said he’s a surgeon?”

“Yeah, up at Northwestern,” I said. “He’s like the head of cardiothoracic surgery or something. He totally has a major ‘God-complex.’”

“Most surgeons do,” Edward chuckled. Then his smile faded. “You didn’t date anyone else after Jacob?”

“No. He hurt me too much,” I frowned. “Besides, after what he put me through, I figured, who would want this?” I gestured to my body, still disgusted at the rolls and lumps underneath my clothing.

“I do,” Edward said simply. “Bella nobody is perfect. If we were, we’d be gods. And we’re not. We all have our faults. I told you mine. And yes, I know that I’m in shape, but that doesn’t mean that I’m perfect. Everyone has their quirks and nuances that make them special and beautiful. A person can be completely ravishing on the outside, but their heart can be as black as night and that’s what makes them ugly. Jacob sounds like that. He may have physical beauty but what he did to you was deplorable. You deserve someone better than that. Someone who knows how to love and apparently, he didn’t. Or rather, he doesn’t.”

“I know that now, but at the time, all I wanted was to be his and I figured that if I gave my virginity to him, I would be,” I sniffled. “I guess not. Not that I want to be his, anyway. He probably is so narcissistic that he can’t see past his miniscule cock.”

“Small?” Edward chortled. I held up my ring finger, wrinkling my nose. “Damn. That’s pretty sad. And I’m going to be completely honest with you, I’m bigger than that. MUCH bigger.”

“You sound like I’m going to be bedded by you, Dr. Cullen,” I giggled.

“I hope so. But, it’s at the pace that you want,” he said sincerely.

“I told you about my pathetic love life, it’s your turn,” I said, giving him an encouraging smile.

“Seems fair,” Edward said as he moved his arm to reach behind me. He idly played with my hair as he began telling me about his romantic history. “I was a geek when I was younger. Braces, glasses, acne, scrawny physique. I didn’t really become comfortable with myself until I was in college. My braces were off. I found the wonders of contact lenses. Proactive changed my life and I became good friends with the football players on my floor at Dartmouth who showed me the wonders of the gym. Oh, and I also helped them with their homework. I was still a geek at heart. Anyhow, freshman year of college, I didn’t really date. I just went through my metamorphosis as it were. Sophomore year, I dated around. I’m not going to lie, I became a manwhore. Another flaw…I told you I wasn’t perfect. I lost my virginity in the bathroom of a dingy frat house with some random sorority girl. I don’t remember her name, but we both wanted sex and we got it.”

“Please tell me you were safe,” I frowned.

“God, yes. I’d always used a condom. The only I didn’t was with my ex-wife and that’s because she was on birth control at first and then after that, we wanted to try for a family,” Edward explained. “I may have been a manwhore, but I’m quite fastidious about my junk. I can also assure you that I’m clean and I can give the most recent blood test results for verification, if you want.”

I nodded and blushed. “I trust you, Edward. It’s not like we’re going to have sex right away,” I whispered. “I want to make sure before I do anything more physically with you. I don’t think I could handle another situation like what I had with Jacob.”

“Nor do I expect you to,” Edward said as he gently cupped my face. “You are a gorgeous woman and you deserve to be respected, cared for and loved. I just hope that you feel that I’m worthy of that.”

“Only time will tell,” I said, breaking his intense gaze into my eyes. Edward’s fingers glided to my jaw and he brought my face back up to his. Softly, his lips caressed mine and he leaned his forehead against me. Jesus…this man can kiss. Nothing that Jacob ever did to me compares to what Edward’s mouth can do to me. “Wow…”

“I know,” he whispered back. “I’ve never felt like this, Bella. I get lost when I’m with you and I never want to find my way, as long as you’re near me.” He closed his eyes and kissed me tenderly again before pulling back. “Do you want me to continue?”

“I don’t want to hear about all of your exploits,” I teased.

“God, I would never…I’m not that much of a douche. That’s my brother. He’d break out his little black book and point out all of the positives and negatives for each of his conquests,” Edward said, his green eyes widening in shock. “Anyhow, I never really had a girlfriend in college. Just a string of women who I regularly called when I was horny. It wasn’t until I was in med school that I wanted to settle down. That’s when I met Tanya, my ex-wife.”

“Was she a doctor, too?”

“Yeah. However, she is a plastic surgeon,” Edward explained. “She has a pretty lucrative practice in Seattle. She’s highly sought after by many patients because she revolutionized a new technique for rhinoplasty and is working on a new concoction to permanently erase wrinkles and age spots. Tanya’s brilliant and an amazing doctor.”

“And you said that your marriage ended because…she was gay?” I asked.

“Yep. About two years ago, our sex life stopped. She wouldn’t let me touch her. Our kisses were very innocent and we barely talked. Prior to that, Tanya was very sexual and I’m not going to lie, we had a very healthy sex life,” he laughed nervously, his ears turning a bright red. “When I asked her about it, she said that she loved me but that she was in love with another. I was livid. My wife was cheating on me? Tanya apologized and said that it wasn’t supposed to happen this way, but she met someone while she was at some medical conference in Hawaii named Irina. I about shit my pants when she said that. My wife was in love with a woman. A very butch woman, too. Irina is tall and looks kind of like me minus a dick and plus some very large breasts. Anyhow, long story short, Tanya asked for a divorce which I granted since I am not going to deny her true love. Besides, the love that she and Irina have nothing short of magical. Irina adores her and Tanya is incredibly happy. Once the divorce was final, I packed up my stuff and moved out here to be with my family,” Edward explained.

“Did you like Seattle?”

“Very much. I miss the city a lot. Especially the weather. I hate the cold. But, I wouldn’t leave for anything. There is something here that I don’t think I could ever give up,” he said, grinning at me crookedly.

“What? Your family? Your job?” I questioned, looking into his deep, evergreen eyes.

“Those are important, but that’s not what I’m talking about,” Edward said quietly, almost reverently.

“Well, then, what?”

“You,” he answered.

Be still my frantically beating heart.

Shortly after Edward’s confession, Angela and Ben came out of her room, looking quite happy and very sexed up. They joined us in watching some football before Ben had to go to work. Edward left when Ben did, saying that he needed to get some laundry done and check on his sister. However, I could tell that he didn’t want to leave but chores were calling his name.  Before he left, Edward kissed me senseless and reminded me to read my journal for his note that he wrote to me.

After Ben and Edward left, Angela zonked out of the couch while I went into my room to read the journal that Edward wrote. I was anxious to see what he had to say. I grabbed my new iPod and put it on shuffle. I found my journal on the nightstand. Eagerly, I crawled into my bed, which smelled like Edward’s cologne. I flipped through the pages and found the entry from Edward.

January 1st, 2013

Dearest Isabella,

This was your idea so I’m going with it, beautiful. However, it seems appropriate since this is your way to work through your feelings that I leave you a note, journal entry, love letter, evidence of my cheesetastic nature. (I’m a dork. I know.)

I know that you haven’t had it easy. I know that you are hesitant to trust. However, I’m so lucky that you’ve opened up to me and that you’re willing to put your trust in me. Bella, you are an amazing, loving, brilliant, gorgeous woman. Someone that I am hopeful will make an impact on my life. You already have, sweet girl. You’ve been a friend to me and someone that I can rely on at work and now, at play.

You are in charge of how fast or how slow we progress with this relationship. I’m a patient man and I will NEVER pressure you into something that you are not comfortable doing. We need to build a trust between each other before we move forward physically, emotionally and mentally. I will also never expect you to change who you are to suit my needs. You’re perfect and beautiful just the way you are.
I know, right now, you’re probably rolling your eyes, doubting what I’m saying but you are. And I’ll keep saying it until I’m blue in the face or until you finally believe it.

I know that we have just met and that we are making that awkward transition from the ‘friendzone’ (blame Emmett for that one…his term) into a more romantic relationship, but the depth of feelings that I have for you are astounding. I have never, EVER felt this way about anyone, including my ex-wife. Yes, I loved her, very much, but it was more of a slow burn whereas with you, it kind of hit me out of nowhere. And that’s a good thing.

Now, onto my cheesetastic part of my note, journal entry, love letter thing…

Will you be my girlfriend? Text me with your response. (I’d say circle one, but I want you to keep this note to re-read at your leisure if you ever forget how much I care for you). Yes or no…

Love,

Edward

My heart is pounding against my chest as I closed my journal. Edward, gorgeous, kind-hearted, intelligent, wonderful Edward wants me to be his girlfriend. Do I trust him? Am I ready to put myself out there?  Would I survive it if we break up? Would he still want me after he sees my body?

I padded to my desk and picked up my cell phone. I scrolled down my contact list and found Edward’s name. I opened up a new text message and put the only thing that I had an answer for and that was his question. Will you be my girlfriend?  Tapping out my response, I sent it off to him.

Yes.

xx APFL xx

To say Edward was ecstatic when I responded to his request was understatement. He called back and said that he was on his way back to my apartment so he could spend some time with me, making out, cuddling and being a couple. Unfortunately, traffic and a very persistent sister prevented that from happening. Edward acted like a petulant child as he drove back to his brownstone, pissing and moaning that he should be with girlfriend.

Holy fuck.

I was Edward’s girlfriend.

Anyhow, moving on. I still have girly squee moments when I think about it. I’ve spaced out more often than not at work. I got yelled out by Dr. Crowley a couple of times because I was not ‘on top of his needs’ while he was suturing several patients. He ripped me apart but instead of crying about it, I just took it. I was wrong. I should have the syringe of lidocaine ready to go. Not daydreaming about my fuckhot boyfriend.

Now, despite the fact that Edward and I are together, I’m still not putting all of my eggs in one basket. I’m still focusing on trying to get myself ‘better.’ I met with a counselor prior to my shift on January 2nd. We spent an hour talking about my history and what I hoped to get out of the therapy. My counselor, Michele, also asked me if I had any coping mechanisms for when things got tough. I said that I journal since I never really had anyone to talk to. She was pleased but she wanted me to find someone that I could talk to, not Edward, though. I agreed with her on that and I said that I’d try to do that. Michele also asked me to make list of ten things that I find to be positive attributes about myself. Journal about it and bring it for discussion for our next session.

So, here I am, sitting on my bed, trying to figure out ten positive characteristics about myself. I’m falling up short. Big. Time.

January 10th, 2013

Ten POSITIVE things about Isabella Marie Swan

Before I begin writing these down, let me just say that this is definitely going to be a challenge. I can barely come up with two things, let alone ten. Then again, I’ve been shot down for so long that I’m not sure what to believe anymore. Edward can find so many positive things about me, but me? Hell no! Anyhow, here goes…

One…I’m a good nurse. Despite what anything says, I care about my patients no matter how they act or behave. Nurses are the eyes and ears for the doctors and I feel like I do an adequate job at relaying vitals, problems and symptoms.

Two…I’m patient. Not many people would have the disposition to be a nurse. You have to deal with so much shit, like lancing puss-filled wounds, bedsores; getting peed on, shit on, and puked on and you have to do all of that with a smile. Sometimes it’s tougher than most (if I ever have to deal with my dad, there will be no smile there. He can sit in his own pee and get bedsores up the ying yang).

Three…I’m compassionate. I kind of have to be. No one would like a nurse that’s bitchy and rude. That’s Lauren. HA!

“Sweet girl?” Edward called out. “Angela let me in as she was leaving. I have Chinese.”

I closed my book and carried it out to the kitchen. Edward just got off from work and was looking pretty  damn sexy in his green scrubs. However, he was wearing a pair of dress slacks earlier… “Everything okay, Edward?” I asked, gesturing to his change in attire.

“Gastrointestinal bleed,” he said, wrinkling his nose. “All over my clothes. Nothing was salvageable. Even my favorite shoes were victim to the mess. I’d had those since I was in med school. So, I had to shower like seven times to get the smell out of my nose and raid the Goodwill bin for a pair of shoes. Everything else was tossed.”

“Did the patient make it?” I asked.

“She’s in very critical condition. My dad needs to perform some extensive surgery but wants her to be a touch more stable,” Edward said as he grabbed some plates from the cabinet. “She’s coded twice in the ICU. It doesn’t look good.”

“I’m sorry,” I frowned as I sat down. “I wasn’t expecting you.” When I got home, I had showered and put on some comfy clothes. I looked like a total schlub.

“I can leave,” Edward smirked. “But, I’m taking my Chinese with me.”

“NO! It’s not that,” I mumbled. “Shit, I’m sorry…”

“Bella, it’s okay. After dealing with that patient, I didn’t really want to be alone and I needed to see you. Since we’ve become ‘official,’ we haven’t had any time to go out and do couple-y things.”

“We’re both really busy,” I said somberly. We hadn’t really had any time to hang out since New Year’s Eve.  
“Tell me about it. Tomorrow, I have to sit in on the finance committee meeting since Eleazar is on vacation. Not looking forward to that. I’m excited about my new position but it’s less about doctoring and more about the politics of the damn hospital,” he grumbled.

“But, you’re amazing at what you do, Edward. You handle the politics gracefully. Just like Eleazar,” I said as he sat down. “Eleazar said that they’re looking in adopting the harassment policy that you drafted for the entire hospital. You should be proud of that.”

“I am. He told me,” Edward said as we both divvied out our food. “What you working on in your journal?”

“My homework from Michele,” I answered, shoving the journal away.

“What’s this homework?” Edward chuckled as he dug into his dinner.

“Ten positive characteristics about myself,” I replied, frowning deeply.

“I can come up with at least twenty,” Edward quipped.

“I’ve got three. And they’re all related to my job.”

“Bella,” Edward said, looking at me. “Can I see?” I nodded and turned to the page in the journal, pushing it toward him. He read what I had written while I nibbled on my dinner. He hummed and closed my book.

“So, are you going to help me cheat?” I asked, batting my eyelashes at him.

“That kind of defeats the purpose, Bella,” he said dryly. “These need to be qualities that you see in yourself that are positive. You already know how I think about you, but that’s not what Michele is asking you for. You need to build your self-esteem. I can tell you what I see but it’s my perception of you. Not yours. Plus, those perceptions mean nothing until you start believe them.”

“Jesus, you should have gone into psychiatry,” I laughed nervously.

“That was my backup,” he winked. “I loved my psych rotation when I was in med school. However, with the ER, you  get your fair share of loony patients. It keeps my psych chops whet. Now, why are you having such a hard time with this?”

“I can’t see anything positive in myself other than what I have written,” I frowned. “My dad filled me with his poison and I had no friends until recently…” A few tears fell down my cheeks and I shoved my dish away, not hungry anymore. Edward took my hand and he tugged on it gently. I got up and he pulled me into his lap. I was uncomfortable. I didn’t want to hurt him with my fat ass.

“Bella, I’m stronger than I look,” he said. “I can see you stressing about sitting on my lap.”

“I’m worried about the chair,” I said, trying to joke.

“Isabella,” Edward growled. “Stop.” He buried his nose into my hair, kissing my neck. “I hate those people who hurt you, Bella. I hate them so much because they are stopping you from seeing your potential.” He sighed and moved his soft lips to my earlobe, flicking it with his tongue. Oh, sweet baby Jesus. “I’m not going to help you cheat. But, I will tell you one thing that I find to be a positive attribute. Only one,” he said into my hair. “Grab your journal, sweet girl.”

I picked it up and grabbed a pen. I looked at Edward expectantly. “Number four,” I said as I jotted that down.

Four…Loving soul…Despite the cruelties you’ve experienced in this world, you are still capable of loving others and being loved by your friends, co-workers and significant others.

“Why don’t you continue working on that? I’ll put the food away, sweet girl,” Edward said as he kissed me softly.

“Kay,” I murmured as I got up from his lap. “Thank you, Edward.”

“You’re welcome, Bella,” he said as he lightly smacked my ass as I passed him. I ruffled his soft hair and plopped down on the couch in the family room. I nibbled on the pen as I thought of some more positive attributes.

Five…Loyal to those I care about, no matter what. Even though my dad was an asshole, I still took care of him. I do the same for my new-found friends, as well.

Six...Generous. I may not have a lot of money but I give what I can to my friends in the form of attention, caring and conversation.

Seven…Stubborn. Now, before you freak out about this, I feel that it’s a positive attribute. My stubborn nature is what prevented me from walking away from my job, my home and my life. I had to PROVE to myself that I could do it. You know?

Eight…Innocent. Even though my life has sucked I still see the good in people, try to find their innocence. However, I hate when people see me and exploit my innocence just because I’m kind.

“How’s it going?” Edward asked as he sat down next to me.

“I got eight,” I said, looking into his eyes.

“Good job, sweet girl,” he said as he moved my journal onto the cocktail table. He lay down putting his head in my lap. I chuckled and twined my fingers into his thick hair, something that he loved when I scratched his scalp.

“Are you going to start purring?” I teased.

“It feels so good,” he laughed as he nuzzled his cheek against my thigh. “So, I was thinking that we go out on a date. A REAL date. I’m a douche and haven’t taken you out, yet.”

“Like you wear something nice and I get all gussied up?”

“Yep. I checked our schedules and the only day that we’re both free in the evening is this coming Wednesday. I kind of pulled in a few favors, if you’re interested,” he said. “I want to take my beautiful girlfriend out for a wonderful evening out.”

“I’m still in shock about that,” I said as gently tugged on Edward’s hair.

“What? That you’re beautiful or that you’re my girlfriend?” Edward teased as he sat up. His green eyes darkened and his lips gently brushed against mine. He rearranged himself on the couch and guided me to straddle his legs, all while kissing me senseless.

We finally break apart, breathing heavily. “No fair,” I pouted.

“What?” he snickered.

“You charmer, you. Totally dazzling me,” I said as I tried to get off his lap. However, Edward’s arms tightened around my waist.

“I do not dazzle you,” he snorted. His lips found the sensitive spot behind my ear and I literally melted into his arms.

“Uh huh and I’m a natural blonde, Cullen,” I said breathily. “I’m a puddle of Bella goo right now.”

“Okay, I dazzle a little,” he said as he continued kissing my neck. He moved his mouth up my jaw and finally reached my lips, barely touching them with his. “You are an amazing kisser, Bella.” He cupped the back of my neck and our mouths clashed together feverishly. “The best. Ever,” he murmured against my mouth. “You should put that down on your list. Best fucking kisser.”

“I think Michele is looking for personality attributes, not physical ones,” I giggled, gently scratching my fingers into his hair.

“Minor technicalities. Besides Bella, you better get used to being called beautiful because you are. Plus all of those personality attributes, too. It’s the combination of the physical and the personality that makes you so fucking special, Bella. And I’m so happy you’re my girlfriend,” Edward said as he took my face into his hands. “Seriously, when you texted yes, I was ready to cross across six lanes of traffic on Lake Shore Drive to come back here, sweet girl. But, I didn’t want to get into a car accident or anything, plus my sister was demanding to see me. She had an epiphany of sorts.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I don’t want to tell you much since Rose is still coming to grips with what happened to her, but she was attacked on the day before her college graduation by her then boyfriend. That attack tore her to shreds and she stopped eating. She was getting better but on Christmas night, she saw her ex-boyfriend at church which caused her to regress. Our attorney dropped the ball and neglected to tell us that he was released for ‘good behavior.’ However, since he was so close to my sister, his bail was revoked and he’s back in jail. Anyhow, Rose saw Emmett when we were moving your desk out of Jasper’s room. She was intrigued by him and said that she was going to go to outpatient therapy for her anorexia and PTSD counseling for her attack.”

“That’s good that she wants to get help but aren’t you concerned about her reasoning behind it?”I asked.

“Hmmm, slightly. But you have to understand that my sister never wanted to have a man look at her again after her attack. The fact that she was so excited by Emmett is a good thing,” Edward explained. “It proves to us that she’s not completely broken, like she says. My sister, right now, trusts three men. Our dad, Jasper and me. However, she trusts me the most since I protected after her attack. Also, I don’t look like Royce King. My brother and dad both have blonde hair and she freaks out when she sees men with blonde hair, for obvious reasons.”

“Holy shit! I remember that story from the newspapers! I read what was done to the victim and I was sickened,” I blanched. “What a monster!”

“Yeah,” Edward said as he held me closer to his body. “I hated what he did to my baby sister. I hate him. I wish he were dead, Bella.”

“I don’t blame you,” I murmured as I comforted him.

He sighed and buried his face into the crook of my neck. I felt dampness against my shirt and I knew that he was crying. Obviously, this weighed heavily on his heart that he couldn’t protect his sister. We didn’t talk. I just massaged his scalp as he silently fell apart. It wasn’t until my feet started falling asleep that we broke apart. Edward wiped his cheeks, giving me an embarrassed grin and mumbling an apology. “So, back to our date,” he said. “Rose would kick my ass if she knew that I was beating myself up. Besides, she’s living vicariously through me and Jasper.”

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“Well, that’s for me to know and for you to find out,” Edward snickered as he kissed my nose.

“I’d like to know so I know what to wear. I don’t want you to take me to the opera and I’m wearing jeans,” I quipped.

“Let me finalize our plans and then I’ll let you know,” Edward smirked. “When do you have to work tomorrow?”

“Three to midnight,” I answered.

“Me too. Want to watch a movie, sweet girl? Then we can cuddle in bed afterward.”

“That sounds perfect,” I smiled. “Why don’t you pick a movie while I make some popcorn?”

“I love the way you think, Bella,” he said as he kissed my lips swiftly before hopping up to the entertainment center. I made some microwave popcorn and put it into a plastic bowl. Edward chose one of my favorite films, Shawshank Redemption and was waiting for me when I was done with the popcorn. We nibbled on the snack as we watched the movie. However, I was tired since I worked the earlier shift. I honestly don’t remember falling asleep but the next thing I did remember was being lifted from the couch.

“No,” I moaned.

“Shhh, sweet girl. I’ve got you,” he cooed as he cradled me against his chest. I was too tired to protest too much. Edward removed my socks and tucked me into bed. “I’ll be back, Bella. Going to take out my contacts.”

“Mmmm,” I mumbled as curled up against my pillows. I faintly recall Edward climbing into bed with me, cuddling around me as he kissed my neck. “Feels good.”

“I’m glad, sweet girl,” he purred. “Sleep, baby. I’ll be here in the morning.”

“Promise?”

“I promise, Bella,” he chuckled.

xx APFL xx

“Damn it, Bella, when was the last time you had your brows waxed?” Alice asked as she attacked my face with strange implements.

“Um, never?” I squeaked. “What the hell is that?”

“Eye lash curler,” she said. “Angela, do you have any wax?”

“I do. I’ll go heat it up,” Angela laughed as she skipped into the kitchen. “Bells, I love you but the brows are a bit much.”

“You suck,” I grumbled. “Both of you. Edward never mentioned anything about my brows.”

“That’s because he needs a wax, too. It’s like two caterpillars above his eyes,” Alice muttered. “Trust me, Bella.”

It was the day of my first ‘date’ with Edward. Though, technically it was the second date we’d been on. I pointed out that we went out to eat on Christmas Eve. Edward put the kibosh on that, saying that we were just friends at that point. This was our first romantic date. And he intended to wine and dine me, he said.

With the help of Angela and Alice, I chose my outfit for the date. They both knew where I was going. I was still clueless, though. But, based off what I had picked out, it was going to be somewhat dressy since I was opting for a pair of dark gray slacks, a pink blouse and one of Alice’s mom’s coats that she ‘didn’t care for.’ I straightened my hair and was now getting my makeup done by Alice and impatiently waiting in getting my brows waxed.  Won’t that hurt?

Angela came back in with a small tub of wax and some strips of fabric. “Let’s do this together, Alice. The look on Bella’s face indicates that she’s scared shitless about this,” Angela giggled.

“You’re putting hot wax on my face to remove hair!” I shrieked. “This is normal?”

“Yes, Bella,” Alice said sagely. “Most women get their brows waxed. Be grateful we’re not waxing your cooter.”

“WHAT?!”

“Too early for that, Alice,” Angela said seriously. “In time, Bells, you will enjoy the benefits of getting your pussy waxed.”

“Why?” I whimpered.

“When Edward goes down on you,” Alice answered, arching a perfectly shaped brow.

“Ew. Won’t he find that to be nasty?” I asked. “Won’t I smell? I mean…really?”

“Bella, surely you’re not that innocent,” Alice replied. I frowned and felt my cheeks heat up. “Shit. Are you a virgin?”

“No,” I mumbled. “But my one experience wasn’t very satisfying.”

“Did he do anything? Any foreplay?” Angela asked as she crouched in front of me.

“Nope. We kissed a bit and he felt up my boobs but then it was put on the condom, push in and then done,” I frowned.

“Does Edward know this?” Alice asked, her violet eyes filled with fury.

“Yeah, we talked about our pasts on New Year’s,” I answered. “After I gave up my virginity to this guy, he said he’d call but he never did.”

“Where are my stilettos? Let’s kick his ass,” Angela growled. “What a douche!”

“Bella, have you ever had an orgasm?” Alice asked calmly, smacking at Angela. I bit my lip and shook my head no. The walls were always too thin. I didn’t want my dad hearing that. “Not even by masturbating?”

“No,” I whispered. “God, you don’t think…?”

 “Oh, Bella, we are so going to have a girl’s night out after your date with Dr. Sexward,” Alice giggled. 
“Who else should we invite, Ang?”

“Definitely not the slut sisters,” Angela snorted. “Lauren is behaving herself but Jessica is about ready to spit nails at Bella. She suspects something is going on between the two of them.”

“We haven’t announced our relationship and we doubt we will,” I said. “I mean, I’m going to the ball thing with Edward in February.”

“Shut the front door and say it ain’t so!” Alice squealed. “We so need to go shopping for your gown, Bella!”

“Let me get through my first date,” I said.

“Fine,” she pouted. “Angela, reheat the wax.”

“Kay,” Ang said as she skipped out of the room again. She comes back a few moments later and they attack my brows. I was right. It hurt like a son of a bitch. Once they were done with my brows, Alice said that my skin needed to calm down before she finished with my makeup. I yielded to her expertise in the makeup department since I was not very adept in applying it without making myself look like a clown. Mascara and some lip gloss was my standard face but I wanted to look pretty for Edward. I used the time that they gave me to write in my journal.

January 16th, 2013

Today is my first date with Edward. According to him, that is. I mean, we’ve been a couple for nearly two weeks now and have gone out to dinner on Christmas Eve, but this is our FIRST DATE.
Is it wrong that I’m a little nervous?

I mean, we’ve kissed, cuddled, shared a bed and we’ve seen each other cry. Why in the hell am I fucking nervous?

Right, because my boyfriend is sexy as fuck and I have NO idea what he sees me, Nurse Swine.
Shit, if Edward knew that I was thinking that, he’d be pissed. I just have such a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that this kind, loving, handsome and brilliant man wants to be with me. I’m trying to see it, but I just can’t. What do I have to offer the relationship?

Beauty? Not really. I’ve got nice skin and okay hair.

Brains? Edward’s a fucking doctor. I’m just a nurse.

Compassion? We’re pretty equal in that…well, he’s more compassionate than me but this is only quality that we share.

I don’t know. I’m trying to get better for me. I’m trying to see the positive. I really am. But, I’m so afraid that I’m a lost cause. Why can’t I accept the fact that Edward likes me for me?

“Bells? Why are you crying?” Angela asked as she sat down next to me.

“Just having a pitiful moment,” I frowned. “I still can’t believe that Edward wants to be with me. I mean, look at him, Ang. He’s fucking gorgeous and I’m so not.”

“Bella, you are beautiful, too,” Angela said as she hugged me. “Dr. Cullen is completely enamored with you. Besides, his beauty is deeper than his looks. The fact that he’s a good man also makes him more attractive. However, I don’t expect you to change how you feel or that I have some cure-all for your feelings. However, you can’t let your self-doubt push him away, Bella. He may be enamored with you but will he still feel the same way if you constantly put yourself down or question the authenticity of his feelings?”

“You’re right, Ang,” I sighed. “I’m trying. I really am, but it’s not going to happen overnight.”

“I know. But, Bella, I’ll be here as a friend no matter what happens. I’m happy that you’re here with me and that you’re finally taking control of your life. I’m ecstatic that Edward is showing you that you are worthy of being cared for and loved. He may not know it, but I think he already loves you, Bella. The only other time I see the way Edward looks at you is my parents. My dad adores my mom and he stares at her the way Edward stares at you. But, don’t quote me on that. He’ll say it when he’s ready. So, will you. Now, let me put on your makeup so you can knock some socks off a handsome, sexy doctor.”

Angela quietly and expertly put on my makeup as I calmed myself, trying to forget about my pity party in my journal that I had. Alice came back in and she worked on my hair. A half-hour later, I was done and was waiting for Edward with my two girlfriends, drinking some wine. Ten minutes after I was ‘beautified,’ the buzzer in the apartment rang. Angela hopped up and hissed quietly to presumably Edward.

A quiet knock filled the apartment and the girls made themselves scarce in Angela’s bedroom, giggling as they danced away. I rolled my eyes and teetered to the door. Alice let me choose my own outfit but she insisted that she got to pick my shoes. I was wearing a pair of gray heeled booties that seriously threatened my safety. I can already feel the broken bones.

I opened the door and on the other side was Edward. He was holding a large bouquet of red roses, pink tea roses, some white flowers that I didn’t recognize. On his face, he wore his signature crooked smirk as he held out the bouquet of flowers. “For you, sweet girl. They are the ‘crazy for you’ arrangement. It seemed fitting since I’m definitely crazy for you,” he chuckled as I took the flowers into my hands.



“They’re beautiful,” I smiled as I inhaled the fragrant blooms. “Come in. I need to put these into some water.” I stepped aside and let Edward into the apartment. I searched the cabinets for a vase but the only one I found was too tall for me to get. Edward chuckled as he watched me stand on my tiptoes to try and reach it. With his long arms, he easily plucked the silver vase from its home above the fridge and handed it to me. I thanked him with a kiss on his lips and put the flowers into the vase, carrying it to my bedroom. I placed it on my desk, smiling softly at them.

Edward slipped behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, his chin resting on my shoulder. “Why are you smiling, beautiful?”

“No one has ever gotten me flowers,” I answered honestly.

“Really? I’m the first?” he asked as he kissed my neck. I nodded, settling into his embrace. “I’m glad that I was able to give you something special, Bella You deserve so much, sweet girl.”

“Thank you,” I smiled as I turned in his arms. His responding grin was so genuine and beautiful; it nearly brought tears to my eyes. He pressed his lips against mine and he laced his fingers in my hand. All too soon, he pulled away and he gently guided me to the family room. Edward picked up my coat and helped into it. Twining our hands together, we left the apartment and down to his car. “Wait a minute. Where’s your Volvo?”

“At home,” he smirked. “This is a special occasion, sweet girl. So, the special occasion car gets to come out and play.”

“What the hell is this?” I asked as I gaped openly at the red vehicle in front of me.

“An Aston Martin DB9,” he answered casually. “She purrs like a kitten and I can’t wait to see you inside of her.” Edward opened the door and I sank into the luxurious vehicle. Jesus, the inside of this car is fucking 
perfect. “You like her, huh?”



“I’ve never been inside anything like this,” I breathed. “Now, don’t get me wrong, how can you afford this?”

“Well, being a doctor does allow me to have a lifestyle that I enjoy. I get paid good money but there are a few things that you should know, Bella,” Edward said as he started the car. “Number one, this car is a gift from my ex-wife. After she made her first million as a plastic surgeon, she asked me what type of car I’d cream myself over. This little gem was my response. Number two, my grandparents were very well off and I am honestly a trust fund baby. Rose, Jasper and I each have multi millions in the bank from Grandpa Cullen when he passed.”

“Fuck me,” I groaned as I slipped further into the seat.

“Not on the first date, sweet girl,” Edward snorted.

“Did Tanya know about…?” I asked.

“She did but since our marriage ended amicably, she was adamant that my trust not be touched. She makes an amazing amount of money. It’s shocking how much money people are willing to spend on Botox injections, breast implants and nose jobs,” Edward chuckled. “I’ve honestly never really dipped into my trust. The first time was when I bought my brownstone.”

“Why are you telling me this? I mean, aren’t you pretty much flagging yourself for some gold-digging ho?” I questioned, furrowing my brow.

“I’m telling you this, Bella, because I trust you. Besides, I know that you are not, and I quote, ‘a gold-digging ho,’” he said dryly. “That would be Lauren or Jessica. They would see my car and want to have unprotected sex with me so I’d get ensnared in some baby drama and be forced to care for them.”

“And then your dick would fall off from all of the venereal diseases it would be exposed to,” I said, scrunching my face distastefully.

“No, thank you,” Edward cringed. He pulled up to a restaurant off of Rush Street called MK. Quietly, Edward shook the valet’s hand, palming him some money before he jogged around to help me out of the passenger seat. Inside of the restaurant, we were led to a quiet corner of the lounge. The table was covered with a crisp white table cloth and a tea light candle flickered. It was very romantic.





Edward and I ordered our food and chatted about our childhoods. I shared my litany of clumsy moments while Edward told me about his dorky pastimes of playing Dungeons and Dragons with his neighbors. Over dessert, we talked about our plans for the ball. Edward said the ball was going to be hosted at the Peninsula Hotel in downtown. He had already reserved a room for us, but was willing to cancel it if I wasn’t comfortable. However, I’d slept with him before and was more than willing to sleep with him again. I was ready to offer to pay for half of the room, but Edward wouldn’t hear of it. He said that it was his intention to spoil me at the ball and that included us staying in the Grand Deluxe Suite. Edward silenced my objections with a panty melting kiss and paid our bill.

I was honestly thinking that our date was over but I was in for a surprise when Edward pulled up the Shedd Aquarium. I had mentioned it in passing that I had never been there but I loved beluga whales and the different sea creatures. But it was nearly nine at night. Surely the aquarium was closed.



Almost as Edward read my mind, he parked the car in front of the aquarium and helped me out of the car. We walked up the stairs and were greeted by an older gentleman with an impish grin. “Little Eddie Cullen is all grown up,” he snickered.

“Hello, Mr. Banner,” Edward said as he held out his hand. “Thank you for arranging this and for being here.”

“Not a problem. It’s the least I can do for my favorite student,” Mr. Banner said, winking at him. “Who’s this beautiful young lady? Your wife?”

“Not yet, Mr. B.,” Edward chuckled. “This is my girlfriend, Bella Swan. Bella, this is my former biology teacher, Ralph Banner. After he retired, Mr. Banner volunteered his time at the Shedd Aquarium, fulfilling his childhood dream of being a marine biologist, right?” 

“Right,” Mr. Banner chuckled. “I get to feed the penguins. It’s so fun!”

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Banner,” I said politely.

“You as well, Bella. Now, Eddie, you can stay until midnight. I’ll be in my office. Just call me when you’re ready to go,” Mr. Banner smirked as he let us inside of the massive museum. Edward took my coat and we hung it in the coat check near the entrance of the aquarium. We walked to the rear of the building, heading toward the Abbott Oceanarium. Inside, there was marine biologist standing, waiting for them. He introduced himself as Peter and he explained that we were going to get a private showing of the dolphins and beluga whales. We watched the show and even got to touch the animals. Their skin was rubbery but insanely soft.
After our private showing, Peter thanked us and we left the oceanarium. We headed to the lower level and watched the dolphins and whales swim idly in their tanks. Edward hummed quietly as we swayed together. 
“Hmmm, dance with me, Bella,” he whispered.




“There’s no music,” I replied.

Edward let me go and behind him was an iPod dock. He pressed play and some slow, sultry jazz filled the cavernous room. He pulled me into his arms, holding my right hand above his heart and my left on his shoulder. Gently, he put my head on his other shoulder and we moved fluidly to the sounds of Michael Bublé and Harry Connick Jr. As we danced, Edward gently cupped my chin and his lips met mine in a sweet kiss. His mouth was soft but demanding against mine and I just melted into his embrace. Tenderly, Edward nibbled on my top lip. I moaned quietly, opening my mouth. He slipped his tongue between my lips and together, our tongues danced languidly with each other.

Edward’s hand moved from my face to my hips, resting above the swell of my ass. His other hand twisted in my hair as he held me flush to his hard body. “Bella,” he breathed as he moved his mouth from mine but his lips never left my skin. He softly kissed down my jaw until he reached my earlobe, sucking it between his teeth. “So beautiful…” he murmured against my ear.

Feeling bold, I took Edward’s face in my hands and stared into his deep, evergreen eyes. I ran my fingers down his cheeks and traced his jaw, eliciting a low growl from him that quite honestly, turned me on. I stood on my tiptoes and gently pressed a kiss to his lips. I didn’t stay there long. I kissed along his cheeks and down his jaw until I reached the crook where his neck met his shoulder. I swirled my tongue, inhaling his clean, masculine scent before kissing back to his mouth. Once there, Edward’s lips crashed against mine and he held me so tightly. I could feel his excitement press against my hip and I bit back my own growl. 
Edward’s tongue slid between my teeth. His hands tightened in my hair and on my hip, moving further down to cup my ass. I moaned louder and it echoed in the eerie blue room. We broke apart and the only sound we heard was the music and our heavy panting.
“Dr. Cullen?” called Peter.

“Yes,” Edward responded, his voice deep and husky.

“I’m sorry, but it’s almost time,” he said.

“Thank you, Peter. Do you have what I asked for?” Edward asked.

“Yes, sir. It’s with your coats,” Peter smiled. “You have a lovely evening. It was nice meeting you, Miss Swan.”

“Thank you for everything, Peter. This was amazing,” I blushed. Peter nodded and he turned to leave. Edward flipped off the sound dock and picked up the iPod, slipping it into his pocket. With one more sweet, soft kiss, he tangled his fingers into mine and we headed up to the foyer. Mr. Banner was waiting with a sheepish grin.

“I’m sorry, kiddo. If I could, I’d let you stay all night but the boss man only said ‘til midnight,” he chuckled.

“Tell him thank you,” Edward said as he shook Mr. Banner’s hand. “I wanted to make our evening perfect and you helped tremendously.”

“Invite me to your wedding,” Mr. Banner snorted. “Drive safely, kids.”

We put on our coats and Mr. Banner locked the front door as we left the aquarium. Edward held a small bag and kept it close to his chest as we walked to his car. The drive back to my apartment was quiet but it wasn’t tense. The silence was soothing and calm. With a contented sigh, I put my head on Edward’s shoulder as he sped down Lake Shore Drive to my home.

All too soon, he pulled up to my apartment and we were riding up the elevator. I didn’t want the night to end. I wanted it to last forever.

We walked up to my door and Edward took my face in his large, warm hands. “I had a wonderful evening, Bella,” he whispered before he kissed me gently, as if I was the most cherished woman in the world.

“Are you staying?” I asked.

“Not tonight, sweet girl. I’m not that easy. At least not anymore,” he quipped. My face fell. “It’s not that I don’t want to stay. I do. Very much. But, you’ve beguiled me with your soft voice, beautiful eyes and luscious lips. I want to make love to you and tonight is not that night.”

“Oh,” I said, pulling my brows together.

“I promise I will spend the night soon, Bella. But for now, this needs to be dealt with,” he said as he pressed his hips against mine and again, I felt his arousal. It was still rock hard.

“I have a shower,” I giggled.

“I want you,” he growled as he nipped at my ear. “Now, I may not be staying with you but I do have something that might make things a little easier.” He held up the bag and placed it in my hands. “Open it up, beautiful.”

I arched a brow and looked inside the plastic bag. There was a medium sized stuffed beluga whale with bright blue eyes and wide smile. I squealed like a fucking moron but hugged my whale to my chest. “It’s so adorable! Thank you, Edward. I love him.”



“Good,” he chuckled. “He’ll keep you company tonight while you dream of me.”

“He will,” I smirked. “Thank you for the most wonderful date, Edward. This has been nothing short of a dream come true.”

“I aim to please, my Bella,” he said as he kissed my lips softly. “I’ll send you a text when I get home. See you tomorrow?”

“See you tomorrow,” I breathed as I kissed his mouth again. Once I clicked the door shut, I took off my coat, slid off my shoes and grabbed my journal while holding my stuffed beluga whale.

January 17th, 2013

First date with Dr. Edward Cullen = complete and total romance! Holy crap! It was perfect. Amazing. Best. First. Date. Ever! He was a gentleman, kind and wow…I need some more adjectives. My fears from earlier were unfounded and I really need to pull my head out of my ass.

But there are three things of which I’m certain…

One…With the help of my friends and Edward, I think I can get over this self-esteem issue. They all are amazing to me and I am finally beginning to feel comfortable in my own skin.

Two…Edward has a right to be jealous of the beluga whale he gave me tonight because he gets to cuddle with me and my hot doc doesn’t. BWAHAHA!

Three…I think I’m in love with Edward. Scratch that. I know I’m in love with Edward.
I just pray it doesn’t bite me in the ass.

A/N: There’s your first date and some sweet Dr. Sexward Tattward loving. Well, not full loving. Not yet. We need to build up the anticipation. I hope that you all enjoyed the date and Edward’s little quirks that he has. As for Bella, she’s going to have her insecure moments. We all do. Anyhow, a big insecure moment is going to be coming in the next chapter. I’ll give you a hint…two characters meet and there is a misunderstanding. Also, come hang out in my Facebook group…Tufano79 Twilight Fanfiction Appreciation. We have oodles of teasers, conversations and Rob porn love. *Raise your hand if you are as excited that the Sex hair is back at Comic Con!  He is one sexy ass man. Nummy!*