Saturday, September 27, 2014

A Prescription for Love ~ Chapter Twelve

This is different from the norm. In all of the stories that I’ve read or that I’ve seen, all of the characters are disgustingly perfect unless they are written with very clear flaws. This story is about love (um, duh! Look who’s writing it. I’m the queen of romance), and finding it in the least likely place with the least likely person.

Now, this story is based in a hospital. My medical training comes from…WebMD. I’m not a doctor, nor do I claim to be. I’m a music teacher who has a wild imagination and a penchant for all things Twilight (and with this story, added in a mix of ER! I loved Luca Kovac…) Which brings me to my disclaimer: None of this is mine. I’m not, nor ever will be, Stephenie Meyer. If was, I’d be rolling in the dough from her insane imagination that gave us Bella and Edward. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter Twelve


I guided Bella into my office. She was shaking like a leaf. Tears were falling down her cheeks and blood was trickling down her neck from the quarter sized bald spot in the back of her head. I swiped a chart and Carmen on the way to my office. I could faintly hear Charlie bitching and moaning about having his civil liberties taken away. The security guards were ignoring him as they frog marched him to the elevators.

Well frog marched him as best they could with Charlie using crutches.

I sat Bella down on the couch once I removed her coat and looked at her injury. I pulled on a pair of gloves and gently dabbed at the base of her neck. She hissed quietly. “Sorry,” I murmured as I cleaned the wound. “Are you okay?”

With a brusque shake of her head, she indicated ‘no.’

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not right now,” she said wearily. “How much did he get?”

“About the size of a quarter. If you wear your hair down, it should be fine,” I said as I finished cleaning and sterilizing the section of her head that was now bald. She sighed. “After you speak with the police, do you want to see if Michele is available?” With a broken sob, Bella nodded emphatically. “Okay. I’ll make a call up to her office. Carmen, can you clean and dress Bella’s wound?”

“Sure, Dr. Cullen,” Carmen said softly. I kissed Bella’s forehead. She flinched as if I was going to hurt her. I frowned. My girl was terrified because of what her douchebag father did to her. I left my office and rode up to the fifth floor where Michele’s office was located. I strode in, speaking briefly with the receptionist before walking into Michele’s office. She was seated behind her desk, reading some emails.

“Dr. Palmer?” I asked.

“Hello, Dr. Cullen,” she said with a warm smile. She stood up and I shook her hand. “What can I do 
for you?”

“Do you have any availability this afternoon? Any free time for a client?”

“For you?” she asked, arching a brow.

“No. For Bella,” I replied. “I know that you see her. We’ve talked briefly about your sessions on a personal level and well, something happened today that she’s going to need you. She’s going to need all of us, really.”

“Of course, Dr. Cullen,” she said. “Can I ask what happened?”

“Her father attacked her in the ambulance bay,” I grimaced. “She’s getting treated downstairs for getting her hair pulled out before speaking with the police.”

“Oh my,” Michele gasped. “When she’s done, send her up to my office. I’m just catching up on some dictation and such. No patients today. I’ll let Shelly, my receptionist, know to send her back.”

“Thanks,” I said with a sad smile.

“Dr. Cullen, do you want come up with her?” Michele asked kindly.

“If she wants me here, then yes. If not, then I’ll abide by her wishes. I appreciate your flexibility,” I replied. She nodded, giving me a little wave. I left her office and rode down to the second floor, reaching the conference room where the security guards were holding Charlie. The head security guard was standing outside of the conference room. Inside, Charlie was ranting and raving. “Did he put up much of a fight?”

“Yes, Dr. Cullen,” the guard said. “He’s blaming Nurse Swan for this whole mess, despite the fact that he attacked her. We’ve already pulled the security tapes and have them for the police.”

“Thank you. Can I speak with him?”

“Make it brief, Dr. Cullen. The police are on their way,” he replied. “We don’t want you to get arrested for anything.”

“I will,” I said, my eyes turning to the doorway. The guard let me inside and Charlie was seated at the table, mumbling angrily. His hands were in fists, causing the skin to tighten around his knuckles. 
“Mr. Swan?”

He looked up at me and his eyes hardened. “Are you here to tell me that my bitch of a daughter decided to not press charges?”

“No. The police are on the way,” I answered. “We’ve got video surveillance of the attack and you’re in a great deal of trouble. She wants a restraining order and based off the nature of your attack, it will be granted.”

“She’s such an ungrateful wench,” Charlie muttered.

“No, she’s the opposite, Mr. Swan. She’s an amazing woman who is beautiful and so loving. She’s also very loyal. Despite your cruel ways, she was still determined to pay your medical bills and care for you. But, you fucked yourself when you kicked her out. Now, you’re on your own. Heed my words, Mr. Swan. Stay away from her. As she said outside, she is no longer your daughter.”

“Are you fighting her battles for her?” Charlie sneered. “Is she too afraid of me?”

“No. I’m not fighting her battles,” I replied calmly. “It hurts me to see someone who I love more than my own life to be hurt and belittled by the one person who should give their love and affection without question. But your display in the ambulance bay indicates that you have a black heart and are not worthy of Bella. You call her worthless offspring? Well, you’re a worthless parent. A bum on the street would be a better choice as a parent than you.” With that, I turned on my heel and left the room, listening to Charlie’s angry rants.

Back in my office, Carmen was almost done dressing Bella’s injury. With a sympathetic smile, Carmen left. I sat down next to Bella and looked at her. Her eyes were vacant and so sad. “Sweet girl?” I murmured, taking her hands in mine. She turned toward me, but not really looking at me. 
“How’s your head?”

“Hurts,” she mumbled. “Carmen took pictures with the camera for the police.”

“Good,” I said as I tried to move her closer. She wouldn’t budge, though. “Bella, please, baby. I want to hold you.” She woodenly moved closer, putting her head gingerly on my shoulder. I felt her face screw up and a fresh set of tears soak through my lab coat. My arms were wrapped around her broken form, trying to soothe my love. Carmen came back into my office and handed me the photos. I took them appreciatively.  She also informed us that the police where here for our statements. Bella untangled her arms from my torso and looked at Carmen. They left and I followed at a safe distance.

I was led into once conference room while Bella moved to another. I gave my statement to a young cop, telling him what had happened between Bella and her father. He asked me a few questions and then he thanked me for my time. Handing me a business card, he said that this case was open and shut and that Bella would get her restraining order along with the possibility of jail time for the assault. There would be a trial, but the timeline wasn’t solid.

I finished up in the conference room. Bella was still talking to the officer taking her statement. From what I could gather, she was going to be in there for awhile. I stepped away and walked toward the circulation desk. I went about my day, treating the few patients in the ER. Towards the end of my shift, I got a text from Bella saying that she was done with the cops. I darted to the conference room and checked on her. The two cops were standing outside of the room, talking quietly. “Is she still inside?”

“Yeah, doc,” the cop that interviewed said. “She’s a bit of a mess, though. I was called into the interview because she was inconsolable.”

“Thanks,” I said curtly. I pushed into the room and found Bella in a ball on the floor. She was crying. Her whole body was shaking. “Bella,” I whispered. “Talk to me, baby.”

“I feel so worthless,” she sniffled.

“You’re not, Bella,” I said fervently. “Your dad is an asstard.”

“I know that,” she snarled. “But, he’s supposed to love me, Edward. He doesn’t! Why doesn’t he love me?” Her body collapsed and she let out a guttural scream, breaking my heart. I gathered her in my arms, sending a text to Michele. I held her against my body as she crumbled.

Ten minutes later, Michele came into the room. She saw Bella in my lap and her face fell. I picked up my girlfriend, following Michele toward the elevator. Eventually, we got to her office and I put Bella onto the couch. I went to leave but she grasped at my shirt. “Don’t go,” she pleaded.

“I’m not going to go, sweet girl,” I answered, sitting next to her. “I’ll stay.”

“Bella, tell me what happened downstairs,” Michele said quietly. “What did your dad do?”

“Edward, you tell her,” Bella whimpered.

“No, Bella. I want to hear it from you,” Michele said firmly.

“Why? So I can relive the bullshit that my dad spewed? So I can feel the emptiness when my dad kicked me out of the house? So I can feel like the worthless offspring I am?” Bella screamed. “HE’S THE FUCKING REASON WHY I HATE MYSELF! HE’S THE REASON WHY I DON’T FEEL WORTHY OF ANY LOVE. HIM!”

“Bella, you’re not worthless,” Michele said.

“Bullshit,” Bella spat. “I am. Why can’t my dad love me? Why can’t he…? Why can’t he respect me? For once, I want him to say that he loves me. He did, years ago but after my mom died, he hated me.”

“Do you want your dad to love you?” Michele asked.

“A parent is supposed to love their child. My mom loved me,” Bella sniffled. “Edward’s parents adore him. But, my dad? I’m nothing more than a fucking meal ticket. Am I so hard to love?”

“No, Bella,” I answered, looking at her. “You’re easy to love. I love you more than my own life.”

“Why?” Bella countered, looking into my eyes. “Why do you love me?”

“I love you because you’re amazing, beautiful, funny, smart, compassionate, generous and perfect.” She scoffed. “Why are you scoffing? You are! For me, you are everything that I ever wanted in a woman. In a girlfriend. In someone that I want to spend the rest of my life with. What I feel for you is NOTHING compared to what I had with my ex-wife. I want everything with you, sweet girl. I want to give you everything. I would do anything for you.”

“How do you feel about Edward’s declaration?” Michele asked, taking Bella’s hand.

“I can see that he’s sincere but since everything’s that happened, I’m hesitant to believe him,” she whispered.

That hurt. A lot. I felt like I had part of my soul stolen from me. I know that she was in pain but to hear that she didn’t believe me made me so upset. Empty.

“Dr. Cullen, do you mind if I speak with Bella?” Michele asked.

“Sure,” I said, my voice cracking slightly. I got up from the couch and walked toward the door. Michele followed me out into her reception area.

“Edward, I know that you’re hurt,” she said. “Bella is coming to grips with the fact that her dad doesn’t care about her and she feels unworthy.”

“She’s not,” I said.

“You know that. I know that. But that woman in my office, she doesn’t believe it,” she said ardently. “Let me work with her.”

“I want to help her, Dr. Palmer,” I frowned.

“So do I,” she answered. “Bella loves you, Dr. Cullen. But right now, she’s very confused, hurt and upset about what happened today. She’ll probably pull away from you, but you have to know that it’s you that’s pulling away from. It’s all of this.”

“I know,” I sighed.

“Go home, Dr. Cullen. Your shift is over and it’s been a trying day,” Michele replied. “I’ll work with Bella.”

 I closed my eyes, pinching my nose with my fingers. I had a killer migraine and this was only exacerbating the pain. “Thanks, Dr. Palmer,” I choked out. “Can tell Bella that I love her?”

“Sure, Dr. Cullen,” she replied with a sad smile. I left Michele’s office and to mine. I took off my lab coat, putting on my winter jacket. Slinging my satchel over my shoulder, I walked out of the ER through the ambulance bay. Charlie was being placed in a police cruiser, handcuffed and scowling. I smiled briefly before I turned on my heel to walk to my car to drive home.


xx APFL xx

Bella was a ghost for the next two weeks. I’d see her briefly at work but she wouldn’t really talk to me. The only time we’d exchange words was if we shared a patient. Her eyes were empty, vacant and incredibly sad, like when I first met her. Her behaviors freaked me out and I was afraid that we were over. Despite her actions, I didn’t want to be. I still loved her. I wanted nothing more than to hug and comfort Bella.

Angela was also pissed off at Bella. They were fighting in the lounge one day when I went to get a cup of coffee. Bella left in a huff, exiting the other door of the lounge. “Everything okay?” I asked.

“No,” Angela grumbled. “I love that girl but she’s been a mess. I understand why, but snap out of it already! Has she said anything to you?”

“We haven’t spoken since that day,” I frowned.

“Shut the fuck up! Really?” Angela squeaked. “I’m so staging an intervention.”

“Ang, Bella is trying to come to grips that her father doesn’t really care for her. I get why she’s falling apart. I hate the fact that I haven’t spoken to her in two weeks, but she needs this,” I muttered.

“Edward, I can see it in your eyes that you’re just as bereft as she is,” Angela said quietly, putting her hand on my forearm. “You hide it better than her, but your eyes are just as empty as hers.”

“Her reason is legit. Mine? Not so much,” I snarled. “I just miss her. I’m afraid that she’s going to tell me to fuck off. I laid myself bare in front of her and Michele and she didn’t fucking believe me, Angela. Why? Because of the acidic thoughts of her fucking sperm donor who made her feel like she was fucking nothing.”

“Fuck this shit,” Angela said. “You, be at our apartment by no later than seven tonight. We’re all going to talk some sense into this girl. Call your sister, too. She’s been ringing the house phone on a daily basis but Bella’s been ignoring her.”

“I’ll be there,” I said with a brief smile. “Do I need to bring anything?”

“Just your sexy ass,” Angela giggled.

 I rolled my eyes as she left. I pulled out my cell phone, dialing up Rose’s number.

“Eddie!” she sang into the phone.

“Hey, Rosie,” I chuckled, falling on the leather sofa inside of the lounge. “Are you available tonight?”

“Is the sky blue?” she snorted. “My social calendar is pretty empty. Bella’s been blowing me off.”

“That’s why I need you,” I sighed.

“What’s wrong, Eddie?” she asked. I briefly told Rose what had happened and what we were planning. Rose was definitely willing to help out. I gave her the address to Angela and Bella’s apartment, along with the time to be there. We hung up and I went back on the floor. The day went by very, very slowly. A snail’s pace would have been too fast. After what felt like an eternity, my shift was over and I was at home, changing into a pair of jeans and a hoodie.

I drove to their apartment, parking on the street. I sent a text to Angela after I parked my car, saying I was here. Ang responded that Bella was in the shower. Everyone, except Rosalie and me, were in the apartment. I happened to see Rose parking behind me and we headed upstairs together. James was watching from his partially opened door while Rose and I walked to their apartment. His one eye was dilated and the smell of body odor and nastiness filled the hallway. It’s called a shower, buddy. Rose moved closer to me as we walked past James’ place. I glowered at him which caused James to slam his door shut.

Knocking lightly on the apartment door for Ang and Bella, we were ushered in and pushed into the living room. “She’s almost done with her shower,” Angela hissed. “Sit down and don’t make a sound.”

“Are you trying to scare the poor girl?” Rose asked, arching a brow. She sat down next to Alice and her sister, Cynthia, who both hugged my sister. Ben was on the couch, chatting with Jasper. On the floor, Emmett was munching on some pizza. Why was Emmett here? I sat down on the huge chair in the corner, nervously fiddling with the strings of my hoodie.

“Bella, you have to eat,” Angela grumbled. “Come on. Let’s have pizza or something.”

“I’m not hungry, Angela. Just let me be,” she snapped.

“Fuck, Bell. You haven’t had a real meal in two weeks,” Angela growled. I heard them scuffle and Angela was physically pulling Bella into the living room.

“What the fuck, Angela?” Bella yelled.

“Put your ass onto the couch and listen, Bella,” Angela said as she pushed her to the seat next to Ben. “All of these people here fucking LOVE YOU! They’re worried about you and are over your brooding.”

“I know that I’m battling some significant demons, Angela…”

“So do all of us, Bella,” Alice chirped. “But, battling the demons on your own is obviously not working. You’ve shut out every one in your life. You’ve become a shadow of yourself, barely eating, snapping at patients and ignoring us.”

“You’re also not sleeping, Bella. I hear you roaming around the apartment at all hours of the night,” Angela sighed.

“What do you want me to do?” Bella spat.

“Talk to us,” I said. I looked at her and saw her sad brown eyes. Her face fell when she saw me, undoubtedly upset that she had alienated everyone who cared about her. Just like her father had alienated her. “Let us in.”

“Why did you turn your friends away, Bella?” Rose asked quietly. “Your boyfriend?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t feel worthy of anything. I still don’t,” she whispered. “Why should I receive anything good? I’m not worthy of anything.”

“Bella, I’ve learned one thing from my issue…you need everyone’s support. Now, you weren’t raped or attacked like me, but you were hurt, irrevocably, by your father. I pushed everyone away once I was released from the hospital. The only person I trusted was Eddie. He was the only man I felt comfortable touching me. He still is. But, it was Eddie who helped me when I first was attacked and again when he moved back to Chicago. It’s also because of my big brother, that I was able to open my mind to my family and now, some new friends.”

“Do you all hate me?” Bella asked, the fight left from her voice.

“No, we don’t hate you,” Angela sighed. “We’re frustrated and pissed off. But no hate. Quite the opposite, Bell. If we didn’t love you, we would have left you to wallow in your sea of self-hatred and worthlessness.”

“Bella, I may not know you, but from the few times that I’ve spoken to you, I’ve seen a funny, endearing, spunky girl,” Emmett said quietly. “Your dad is a fucktard of the highest order and honestly, it’s HIS loss. Why do you need his approval when you have all of these people sitting around you who love you? Who approve of you? Who see this wonderful girl who is worthy of everything under the sun?”

“My padawan,” Cynthia said as she walked toward Bella. “I love you. You need to pull the head out your ass, but I love you. Daddy dearest is moron who lost his brain when he lost his leg. On top of that, he’s a hateful, spiteful human being who is acting like a spoiled brat as opposed to the nearly sixty-year old man that he is. And you know what? He’s sitting in a jail cell because you pressed charges against his sorry ass. How do I know that? My neighbor is a deputy for the Cook County Correctional Facility and well, your dad’s attorney couldn’t get him out. Arraignment is coming up soon, according to my neighbor. He’s been tortured by his fellow inmates because he’s a former police officer.”

“He hasn’t been hurt, has he?” Bella asked.

“He’s been roughed up but his ass is still unclaimed,” Cynthia snorted.

“Cyn!” Alice laughed. “TMI!”

“What?” Cynthia asked, arching a brow. “Bella, you don’t have to worry about sperm donor. He’s no longer your concern. The only person you need to worry about is you. And well, that sullen doctor in the corner.” Bella looked at me and her eyes filled with tears. “On that note, we should let the lovebirds hash out their issues.”

“I agree,” Rose said. “There’s a pizzeria around the corner that looks good. Who wants some?”
All of the guys raised their hands and everyone left the apartment, talking excitedly about the pizza. Emmett was chatting with Rosalie, obviously excited about talking to my baby sister. The door clicked shut and the silence left behind was tense and uncomfortable. I stayed seated on the chair, leaning forward on my knees. My jaw was clenched and I didn’t know what I wanted to do.

“I don’t know what to say,” Bella whispered.

“Me neither.”

“I’m sorry seems appropriate but empty,” she sighed. “I’ve been horrible to you, Edward. I’ll understand if you want to end this.”

“Is that what you want, Bella?” I asked, staring at her. “Do you want our relationship to be over?”

“No, but…”

“I don’t want it to be over, either, but what you said in Michele’s office…after I laid my heart on the ground to you…hurt. A lot,” I said angrily. “I understand that you were upset by your dad’s actions, but it doesn’t change how I feel for you.”

“I’m sorry, Edward,” she murmured. “So sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I just needed time to wrap my head around it all. Please, don’t hate me.”

“I don’t hate you, Bella. I never could,” I said. “I wish you would have spoken to me before you ignored me. Michele told me that you’d pull away but I’d never thought it would be this bad. Two weeks with no contact except work discussions. Talking about patients or treatments. Getting lab results.”

“There’s no excused for that,” Bella sniffled. “I’m a horrible person, Edward.”

“You’re not, Bella,” I soothed.

“I am! The one person who was on my side, and I pushed you away,” she sobbed. “What can I do to make it right?”

“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “Bella, I love you. The depth of my feelings is to my very soul, but your actions indicate that perhaps you don’t care as much about me as I do about you.”

“Edward, I do love you,” she cried. “I know that how I’ve behaved the past few weeks hasn’t been a clear indicator, but I do. So much. What can I do? Tell me!” Bella’s face was flushed and tears were spilling over her cheeks. Her body was shaking in anxiety. “I can’t lose you. Everything I’ve done has pushed you away. I’m such a fucking failure.”

I hopped up from the chair and crossed to the couch where Bella was obviously beating herself up. I sat down, pulling her against my body. She stiffly leaned against me before she collapsed. Her body was wracked with screaming sobs as I held her tightly. I don’t know how long we sat on the couch while she cried, but she eventually calmed down. When she was quiet, I kissed her temple. “You’re not a failure, Bella. You were hurt. I get that.”

“So were you,” she mumbled against my now soaked hoodie. “And I was the cause. Will you ever be able to forgive me, Edward?”

“I already did, Bella,” I said as I gently forced her to look at me. “I’m going to be honest, though. In order for our relationship to work, we have to be able to talk. You can’t just shut me out. If you need space, I’m willing to give it to you. You have to talk to me prior to that. Tell me that you’re backing away. These past few weeks, I was unsure of our status since you just stopped talking to me.”

“I’m sorry, Edward,” she sniffled. “I was so inside of my head that I wasn’t even thinking how it was for you.”

“I kind of gathered that. Angela approached me after your tiff in the lounge about this ‘intervention,’” I chuckled nervously. “Now that you’re out of your head, what are you going to do?”

“I have a lot of apologies to make,” she said, looking at me. “And a lot of thinking to do.”
“Have you spoken with Michele?”

“Either in person or on the phone,” Bella answered. “I’ve spent a lot of time writing in my journal, too. Tomorrow is my dad’s arraignment, though. I’m so afraid that they’re going to grant him bail and deny my request for a restraining order.”

“Do you want me to come with you?” I asked.

“You’d do that for me even though I was an epic bitch towards you?” she answered.

“Of course, Bella,” I said. “You need support in that courtroom and I’ll be there.”

“Can you stay the night?” she begged.

“What time is the arraignment?”

“Nine, I believe,” Bella replied. Her brown eyes were filled with uncertainty as she pleaded with me.

“I’ll need to go back to my house to grab a suit, but I can stay with you,” I murmured, pulling her closer to my chest.

“Can you kiss me?” she whimpered. “I’ll understand if you don’t want to…” I broke her off by placing my lips on hers. We collapsed on the couch while I hungrily kissed the shit out of her. We made out on the couch until we heard the lock disengage. We scrambled off the couch and into Bella’s room.

As we undressed for bed, I knew that we were better but still had a long way to go to heal in our relationship.

xx APFL xx

“Bella, you have got to stop shaking,” I said as I took her hand in mine. She was a nervous wreck. Her hair was curled and was lying over her shoulders. She was wearing a deep purple blouse and a pair of black dress pants. She also wore my jewelry that I had gotten her for Valentine’s day.

“I’m so afraid, Edward,” she squeaked.

“No fear. Bella, he can’t hurt you,” I whispered, kissing her temple. “Even if he gets bail and is you’re denied a restraining order, I’ll still protect you. Your dad has to know that I won’t stand for the same actions from two weeks ago. He can be banned from the hospital…”

“Edward, County is the only hospital he can go to,” Bella explained. “With his medical issues and lack of insurance, county is the lone hospital that would accept him. He can’t be banned.”

I sighed and twined our fingers together. We waited until the courtroom opened up for all of the arraignment cases. Based off the computer screens with the schedule of the cases up for arraignment, Charlie would be up relatively early. Bella and I took seat in the rear of the room, hiding behind the crowds of people.

Three cases were up prior to Charlie’s time in front of the judge. Bella was pressed against me while we waited for Charlie’s case. Two of the cases were drunk driving and one was child abuse case. The two drunk drivers were granted bail. The child abuse case was remanded to the Cook County Jail.

“Next case on the docket is the people of the state of Illinois versus Charles Thomas Swan. Charges include assault, battery, being under the influence of drugs and alcohol, public drunkenness, and harassment.”

“My name is Emanuel Schwartz, representing the state of Illinois,” said the prosecutor.

“Richard Potts, public defender for Mr. Swan,” said the defense attorney wearily. Charlie was leaning heavily on his crutches, looking a little worse for wear.

“What does the state want?” the judge asked.

“$500,000 with a restraining order for his daughter if he’s released,” Mr. Schwartz said succinctly.

“Your honor, Mr. Swan is an injured ex-police officer,” Mr. Potts countered.

“Who attacked his daughter in the ambulance bay of Cook County Hospital,” Mr. Schwartz argued. 
“There’s been a long-time history of abuse and neglect from Mr. Swan. His daughter feared for her safety when she spoke with the police.”

“This is for trial, gentlemen,” the judge grumbled. “$250,000 bond with a restraining order. Trial date will be determined at a later time. Next case!”

The bailiff poked Charlie and he growled at the man in the uniform. However, when he saw Bella and I in the gallery, his eyes grew colder. Bella cowered against me. “He can’t hurt you, sweet girl,” I cooed against her hair.

“Look at him, Edward,” Bella squeaked. “Even while he’s crutching away, he’s giving me the evil eye.”

“Bella, what’s the probability of Charlie getting $250,000 in cash or bond? Slim to none,” I said. “If he’s released, you have the restraining order. If he comes close to you, you call the cops and he’s back in jail.” I shot a look at Charlie’s retreating form and helped Bella to stand. We left the courtroom and met up with Mr. Schwartz. He handed Bella a copy of the restraining order and gave her a card if there were any more problems with her dad.

I took Bella out for an early lunch after our time in court. I took her Frontera Grill and we settled into a corner table in the bustling restaurant. Bella was very quiet, biting down on her lip. We ordered our meals and an uncomfortable silence covered our table.

“I hate this,” Bella said.

“Talk about awkward,” I said at the same time.

We both laughed nervously but I gestured to her. “I hate that there is this distance between us. I mean, last night was nice but even though we fooled around, it wasn’t the same as before.”

“I know,” I sighed. “You’re protecting yourself, Bella. Subconsciously, so am I.”

“I’m a fool,” Bella mumbled sadly.

“No, you’re not. I understand, perfectly, why you backed away. Michele warned me before I left the session with the two of you,” I said as I leaned forward, putting my elbows on the table. “It’s obvious that we can’t go back to what we had…”

“WHAT?” Her brown eyes filled with tears and her face shattered.

“Let me finish,” I said, taking Bella’s hand. Tears fell down Bella’s cheeks as I stroked her hand. She was mumbling that she hated herself that she deserved to be alone. I got up from my chair and wrapped my arms around her. She gripped my lapels of my suit and sobbed silently against me. The waitress was not happy when she delivered our meals, hissing that my companion was causing a disturbance. I glared at her. I’ll deal with you later, wench. “Bella, calm down. Please, sweet girl.” 
Her sobs were bordering on hysteria and her breathing was shallow. I could feel her pulse race under my fingers. I pressed my lips to her temple. “I don’t want to have to sedate you, Bella. Your heart rate is moving too fast.”

She took a shaky breath and wiped her tears. “Sorry,” she rasped out. Her eyes were trained on the table, not meeting my gaze at all.

Gently cupping her chin, I raised her face to look at me. The sadness in her eyes from when I first met her had washed from her eyes to her entire being. She had given up. Fuck. I motioned for the waitress and asked to get our meals wrapped up. Bella’s defeated posture troubled me. I paid the bill and helped Bella into her coat. Keeping her vertical with one hand and carrying the bag of food with the other, I walked us back to my car, driving to my brownstone. A steady stream of tears fell down Bella’s cheeks.

When I pulled up to my house, Bella looked at me in surprise. “Why didn’t you take me home?” she asked.

“Because we’re not done talking, Bella,” I said, cupping her cheek with my hand.

“Why prolong the inevitable?” she asked. Her voice was dead. No emotion. “Charlie’s right. I am worthless. I’m a fuck up.”

“Bella, stop it,” I snapped. I loved her so much and it fucking killed me to see her so broken. How can I get through to her? How can I show her how much I love her?

Getting out of the car, I jogged to Bella’s side. I opened it up and Bella just sat there. I was cold and honestly, getting cranky. This shit needed to be stopped now. So, I bent down and threw Bella over my shoulder. “EDWARD! PUT ME DOWN!” she screamed.

She wiggled on my shoulder until I dropped on her my couch in the living room. I walked to the medicine cabinet and picked up a bottle of xanax. I cut a pill in half and grabbed a water bottle. I wanted to be prepared if Bella started having a meltdown. I removed my suit coat and loosened my tie. Bella was curled up against the arm of the couch. “Bella?” I asked, touching her knee.

She glanced at me but didn’t say anything.

I rubbed my face and sat back. “This isn’t going to work if we don’t talk, Bella,” I murmured. “Do you want our relationship to work?”

“I do. But do you?” she asked, her brown eyes looking at me, still filled with sadness, dejection and loneliness.

“More than anything. Back to what I was saying in the restaurant,” I began. “This distance put a kink in our connection and we have rebuild it. I understand that you are hesitant to trust me. Again. But, I get it. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’m in this for the long-haul.”

“This is my first real relationship, Edward. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m failing left and right at this,” she grumbled.

“No two relationships are the same, Bella. Ours has had some bumps and bruises, but if we can get past this, I’m certain we’ll be unbreakable,” I said. “I hope, at least. Do you think that I question my decisions?”

“You’re so confident, Edward. If I had an ounce of your self-esteem, I’d be a changed woman,” Bella sniffled. “All of the confidence that I had built up prior to all of this has disintegrated. I feel like I’m nothing.”

“Then, it’s my job as your boyfriend to make you feel like you’re worth a million, no, a billion dollars,” I said as I reached for her. “You’re not nothing, Bella. You’re my whole world, sweet girl. There are three things that I value above all else: my job, my family and most importantly, those that I love. I told you in Michele’s office how I felt and that hasn’t changed.” Her body sagged against the couch as new tears fell down her cheeks. “Don’t cry, Bella. It kills me to see you cry. I want to see a smile on your beautiful face. Laughter. Orgasms.”

Bella blushed and shot me a look.

“What? You’re the most beautiful when you come, sweet girl,” I purred.

“All of this has set me back, Edward,” she sniffled.

“I know. We’ll get there. Even now, it wouldn’t be appropriate to try anything physical. I think that’s why it was so awkward last night,” I answered. “I also think that we may have to seek out a couple’s counselor.”

“Money’s tight for me, Edward. I can’t afford that and Michele…” she frowned.

“I’ll cover that couple’s counselor. It’s an investment in our future, sweet girl. I want a long one with you,” I said, smiling at my girl. She opened her mouth, obviously trying to argue with me. “No arguments, Bella. I love you and I want to do this.” She nodded, slumping against my couch. I reached for her hand and laced my fingers with hers. I gently tugged on her arm. She looked at me. “Rebuilding the intimacy, Bella. We need to cuddle.” I gave her my crooked grin. “It’s where this all started…cuddling.”

“If we’re going to cuddle, can we at least do it on your bed and not on this tiny couch?” Bella asked, cracking a half grin.

“Your wish is my command, Miss Swan,” I said, kissing her lips briefly. I got up and held out my hands to her. She stood up on shaky limbs and we climbed the stairs to my bedroom. We changed into something more comfortable and snuggled under the covers in my bedroom. Bella’s head was right above my heart and I was holding her to my body. “I do love you, sweet girl. Even if we don’t work out, I’ll always love you.”

“Edward, I love you, too. I’m sorry for hurting you and I don’t want to lose what had. I want to move forward,” she whispered.

“And we will,” I said, tightening my hold on her. “Together.”

A/N: Yeah, that was a rough chapter to write. Bella is a hot mess. (Can  you really blame her? Charlie is a douche and a half.) Edward is confused by Bella’s actions, but not. Now, before those haters who LOVE to rip me apart get their word in, if a guy is willing to make a relationship work, it will. Yes, Bella is not the most confident; she’s chubby; and well, she is in need of some major counseling (I love Michele…). But, a kind-hearted, good-looking man, like Edward, will be patient enough to want to be with her, if he sees something worth waiting for. That was stated while Edward was in the appointment with Michele. So, NO HATING! If you don’t like the chapter, don’t flame me. Just don’t continue reading.

Anyhow, since the past chapter was kind of angst-filled, the next chapter will be more fluffy. I may be using a date idea from a friend that includes a kitchen (and you’ll get your shout-out in the next chappie, my dear). We’re also going to get some possible resolutions with James? I’m still trying to figure out the storyline with him. We will be moving forward a few months in the story. So, an FYI there, too.

Sunday, August 31, 2014

A Prescription for Love ~ Chapter Eleven

This is different from the norm. In all of the stories that I’ve read or that I’ve seen, all of the characters are disgustingly perfect unless they are written with very clear flaws. This story is about love (um, duh! Look who’s writing it. I’m the queen of romance), and finding it in the least likely place with the least likely person.

Now, this story is based in a hospital. My medical training comes from…WebMD. I’m not a doctor, nor do I claim to be. I’m a music teacher who has a wild imagination and a penchant for all things Twilight (and with this story, added in a mix of ER! I loved Luca Kovac…) Which brings me to my disclaimer: None of this is mine. I’m not, nor ever will be, Stephenie Meyer. If was, I’d be rolling in the dough from her insane imagination that gave us Bella and Edward. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter Eleven


I totally felt like ‘CinderBella’ as Edward had called me earlier. The ball had been a dream come true. We spent the night eating, drinking, dancing in each other’s arms, kissing and just being a couple in love. However, I knew something was up with Edward after he came back from the bathroom. His green eyes weren’t as bright as they had been earlier. I asked him about it, but Edward promised he’d tell me tomorrow.

He was so hiding something.

Something that obviously had to do with me.

However, I let it go. I didn’t want to have my night ruined because of something that happened to Edward in the bathroom, especially if it was pertaining to me. I’ll just ask Edward about it tomorrow.

After they had announced the winners of the silent auction, Edward seemed anxious to leave. His eyes had a predatory gleam to it and he looked like he was ready to pounce. Honestly, so was I. He looked so fucking sexy in his tuxedo and his haircut. I wanted to run my fingers through his hair and remove the tux with my teeth.

Once Edward had made his declaration that he wanted to go, we said good bye to our friends and Edward’s family. I made tentative plans with Rosalie to go out for coffee the next day I have off so we could chat without the prying eyes of my co-workers and her family. Rose had mentioned that the only person that she truly trusted in her family was Edward. Her parents were too worried about her eating habits and Jasper was an immature brat who just didn’t get it. Edward, her protector from the moment she was born, was the most affected by her attack and the one that Rose turned to the most. She wanted someone else besides her oldest brother and her therapist. That was going to be me.

The ride up in the elevator to our suite was tense. It wasn’t a bad thing though. It was more sexual. Edward’s fingers glided along my back and I could feel my body react to his soft, gentle caress. “Do you know how beautiful you looked tonight?” he murmured in the quiet elevator.

I blushed and ducked my head. I had felt pretty, but honestly, compared to the other women in the room, I was not beautiful. I was still heavy. I was still not the woman that belonged on Edward’s arm.

“I can see what you’re thinking, Bella,” he chided as the elevator opened. “That you are not ‘beautiful.’ That you don’t deserve my compliments.” He laced his fingers with mine and we walked down the hallway to the room. “You do, sweet girl.”

“I’m still having a hard time accepting the fact that you want me,” I answered. Edward sighed and opened the door we had stopped in front of. Obviously, he was frustrated with me. Perhaps, I should just take my bag and go. Inside of the room, I walked to the bag and bent down. I picked it up and steeled myself to leave. “I’m sorry, Edward.”

“Why are you holding your bag?” Edward asked, arching a brow.

“I’m pissing you off. I’ll just go,” I mumbled.

“Oh, no,” Edward said sternly. He took the bag from my hands and guided me to the bed. The very large and inviting bed. “Bella, why do you think you’re pissing me off?”

“You sighed when you opened the door,” I muttered.

“Bella, baby, I sighed because I want you to see what I see. I want you to know that I love you, regardless of what you look like,” he said quietly as he took my face in his hands. “I was just merely pointing out the fact that you looked gorgeous tonight earlier. And you did. So beautiful, Bella.” He stared at me, rubbing his thumbs along my cheeks.

“I’m afraid, Edward,” I whispered.

“Why, sweet girl?”

“That your opinion of me will change when you see me with my clothes off,” I frowned. “Clothing hides a multitude of sins, Edward.”

“Nothing will change, Bella,” he said. “And if you’re not ready, we don’t have to do anything. We can just curl up and cuddle.”

No, I don’t want that. I want to be with him. But, I’m so afraid. Maybe just cuddling would be a better option.

“You won’t be mad if we don’t…fool around?” I whimpered.

“Of course not,” Edward said. He kissed my forehead chastely and I could tell in his stance that he was slightly dejected at my lack of self-confidence. I had been so strong at the ball and now my insecurities bite me in the ass. “I’m going to take out my contacts if you want to change into something more comfortable. Okay?” I nodded and watched as Edward moved toward the bathroom. He turned just before he went inside. “I love you, sweet girl.” He gave me his sweet crooked grin before ducking into the bathroom and shutting the door.

I fell back on the bed, feeling the tears fill in my eyes. Why? Why can I not do this? Edward loves me. He’s said so. He shows me every day. Why can’t I let him in all the way? My tears fell down my cheek unabated as I tried to calm myself. It was fruitless. Obviously, I was too much of a mess to calm down by just laying there. I forced myself up and unzipped my dress. I let out a deep breath as I felt the tightness around my ribs go away. The dress was absolutely gorgeous but it cinched in my waist. Gave me a great shape but was incredibly uncomfortable for long periods of time. Five hours in the dress was definitely my limit.

I picked up my bag and looked inside. Nothing that I packed was in there. I had packed a pair of sleep shorts and a long-sleeved t-shirt along with a pair of dark wash jeans and red sweater for tomorrow. However, inside there was a purple negligee with matching panties along with my jeans and shirt that definitely accentuated my girls.

Edward came back out of the bathroom and he was wearing a pair of flannel pajama bottoms. On his face were his glasses and he was shirtless. “You okay? I heard you squeak in the bathroom.”

“Um, I think the luggage fairies attacked,” I grumbled. “What I packed is not in here.”

“Really?” Edward smirked.

“Yep. My sleep shorts and t-shirt aren’t in here. It was replaced with this,” I said, holding up my nightie. Edward pushed off the door frame and held out his hand. I gave him the nightie, blushing a deep crimson. He held it up, appraising the sheer material.

“I think you should wear it,” he said quietly. “In regards to lingerie, it’s pretty tame.”

“The panties are butt floss, Edward,” I said dryly.

“You could always keep the panties off,” he chortled, waggling his brows like a perv. I rolled my eyes and grabbed the negligee from Edward’s hand. The panties I wore under my dress were the same color as the nightie. I’ll just wear those. I kissed Edward’s bare shoulder before slipping into the bathroom to change. My tears had dried and I was somewhat calm. Carefully, I removed my dress and hung it up. I also took off my jewelry, placing it into the boxes that Edward had left on the counter for me. Once my dress was off and my jewelry in its box, I put on the nightie. It was sexy but still innocent at the same time. The fabric hung loosely around my torso but hugged my breasts. It was see-through and my nipples were visible under the purple fabric.

I brushed my teeth, avoiding looking in the mirror. I finished in the bathroom and walked out into the bedroom. The lights were off. The only light was coming from the bathroom and a few candles that Edward had lit. I flipped off the lights and walked to the bed. Edward was leaning against the headboard with his eyes closed. I crawled onto the bed and slipped between the sheets. He opened his eyes when he felt the bed dip under my weight. When he saw what I was wearing, his green eyes darkened and his mouth dropped a bit in shock.

Or was it disappointment?

When his fingers glided up my arm and taking purchase in my hair, his other hand moved to my hip, guiding me over his lap, I knew it wasn’t disappointment. The hardness between my legs was not an indication of disappointment. He was fucking turned on! I was perched astride his legs with his arousal pressing between my thighs. His eyes had darkened even more and there was very little green in his irises. Even in the dim room, I could see the faint blush on his skin. I was a fucking nuclear tomato. His stare was intense, fiery and lustful.

Edward’s hands moved up my arms slowly. His warm palms were gently massaging my skin. Once he reached my shoulders, one hand continued to my back, gently tickling the exposed skin there while the other hand moved to my face. His finger traced my jaw as he reached my lips. His eyes never left mine. With his thumb, he swiped it across my lower lip, earning a guttural moan from me.

This was, by far, the most erotic thing that has ever happened to me and we haven’t even kissed yet. My panties were drenched just from his piercing gaze and sensual touches.

Edward moved his hand from my face and lightly ran his finger tips down my neck. My head fell back and I arched my back toward him. I wanted him to touch me. I wanted to feel his hands on my breasts. I wanted to feel his fingers between my legs; to feel how wet he made me. “Bella, look at me,” Edward said in a tone that left little to be argued with. I looked at him and he was smiling. Not a friendly smile but a smile that was sexy and wild. It was his crooked smirk with a sensual twist. “I can stop but seeing you wearing this…I need you, baby.” He leaned forward. His lips barely grazing my ear, “I need to feel you. I need to make you come.” His mouth descended on my ear and he bit down hard on my earlobe. My hands moved to his shoulders as I unconsciously rotated my hips over his erection. He moaned as his mouth sucked on my neck.

“I want you,” I whispered. Edward’s head snapped up and he looked into my eyes. “Not all the way, but I want to explore with you. Please?” I picked up his right hand and placed it on my left breast. He let out a strangled noise once his hand wrapped around me. Edward’s lips finally met mine and they were insistently moving against my mouth. My hands were buried in his hair, tugging on his thick strands as we fought for dominance with our mouths. Somehow, Edward had flipped us so I was on my back and he was resting between my legs. His hardness was pressing against the fabric of his sleep pants and rubbing the lace of my panties. He pulled back slightly and he looked down at me. “What?” I asked.

“Can I take this off?” he questioned, gesturing to the negligee. “I want to feel your skin against me.” His smirk softened and his eyes lost their predatory gleam. “Please?” His now green eyes pled with me. My heart stammered against my chest. The only other person who has seen me like this has been Jake. I didn’t want a repeat. Could I trust him to not break my heart?

Trust him, Bella. He’s been nothing but loving and honest since you’ve met him.

I bit my lip and sat up. Edward sat back onto his knees as I reached for the hem of the negligee. Here goes nothing. Be prepared for Edward to run away screaming. I pulled the purple material off my body and tossed it next to me. I kept my eyes down, focusing on the duvet cover. I crossed my arms across my body, trying to hide the rolls and lumps.  Edward’s hand reached up and gently touched my face. “Don’t, Bella,” he murmured. “You’re beautiful.” He moved my hands away from my body. He pressed me back against the pillows. His bare chest was molded against mine and I moaned at the feeling of his warm skin against me. His mouth covered my lips and he balanced on one hand. Tenderly, he ran his hand along my arm, down my chest to palm my breast.

His fingers expertly kneaded my flesh. He rolled my nipple with his thumb as he fondled my breast. I groaned into his mouth as he continued to play with my bare breast. Edward’s mouth moved away from mine as he kissed down my neck. “God, baby, you are so exquisite,” he mumbled against my collarbone. “So soft and perfect.” He nipped at my skin at my neck before moving down further to my breast. He looked up at me and his eyes had returned to their feral gaze. With a seductive smirk, he licked my nipple. His other hand gripped my breast and he tugged and toyed with my nipple while he licked and bit at my other one. “Your breasts are beyond words, Isabella,” he cooed, looking up at me. He sucked it into his mouth, earning another moan from me. “From now on, I’d love for you to be topless whenever you’re around me.”

“Keep dreaming, Cullen,” I giggled. “These girls need a bra.”

“No, they don’t,” Edward smirked as he kissed across my chest. He licked, sucked, nipped and bit my other nipple while he toyed with my bare breast. “They’re here for me to kiss and play with.”

“Are you a boob man, Edward?” I asked, ruffling his hair.

“I’m a woman man, Bella,” he replied. “I love everything about women. Their soft skin.” He ran his hands up and down my torso, reveling in the feeling. “Their smell. You smell like strawberries, freesia, vanilla and cinnamon,” he smiled as he kissed up my body, inhaling at my neck. “So good, baby.” He smelled my hair and he growled, lowly. “Back to what I love about women, specifically you. I do love your breasts, Bella. They fill my hands. Your nipples are the perfect shade of pink and I love licking them,” he said in a husky voice. He bent his head and licked my nipple to prove my point. “But, I love licking other things, too.”

“Like what?” I breathed.

“I love making a woman come with my tongue,” he purred in my ear. “Not tonight, sweet girl but I will. I will make you come with my tongue. I want to see if you are truly a sweet girl.”

Oh, hell. My panties are officially ruined.

“Bella, I want to feel you,” he said quietly. “I promised you that I’d get you to scream my name. Can I touch you?”

“You are touching me,” I teased, knowing full well what he wanted to do.

“I want to feel how wet you are,” he growled lowly. “I can definitely feel how hot you are between your legs. I can only imagine how wet you are, Bella.” He rolled his hips and his cock grazed my clit, earning a whimper from me. “I’ll keep your panties on but I need to feel you, baby.”

I nodded, wanting him to feel me. I wanted him to feel what he did to me with his sensual touches, hot tongue and loving kisses. Edward smiled and he moved off to the side of me. His body was pressed against me as he traced light circles on my belly. My hand snaked up to his hair, gently pulling on his bronze locks. He stared at me and the emotion simmering behind his eyes was plain. He did love me. He desired me. His hardness pressed against my hip was a clear indication of that.

Soon, the circles he was drawing on my belly moved closer to my waistband of my panties. “Are you sure, Bella?” he whispered.

“Please, Edward,” I begged. “I love you.”

“Bella…sweet girl, I love you too. So fucking much,” he said as he devoured my mouth. Edward’s arms wrapped around my waist and we were entangled in a mass of arms, legs and frantic kisses. With a moan, Edward moved back to my previous spot and the very tip of his middle finger slipped into my panties. Our kiss broke apart and he moved his hand further into my panties. He reached my curls between my legs. They were damp with my arousal. “Do you trust me, Bella?”

“Yes, “I breathed.

“I trust you with my life, Bella,” he answered, staring into my eyes. His hand moved closer to my core. Closer to where I was aching with need. “I love you and I’m yours.” His fingertip grazed my clit and I bucked my hips. “Forever, if you’ll have me, Bella.” He circled his long finger along my swollen nub. “Jesus, baby, you’re so wet.”

“For you,” I said with a smile. “You did that.”

His hand made tight circles around my clit, spreading the dampness along my folds. “God, you feel amazing, Bella,” Edward grunted. “So wet and hot, baby.” His lips brushed against mine as his finger toyed with my entrance. “Can I?” Not able to form words, I nodded. His finger slipped inside easily due to my arousal. It felt amazing compared to what I had experienced with Jacob. Then again, the one time with him and I wasn’t nearly as worked up as this. He slowly moved his finger in and out of my body. He stared at me, watching me as I shifted against his body, trying to pull his finger deeper inside. “You’re so tight, Bella,” he said, his voice filled with awe.

How do you respond to that? I wasn’t sure. So, I kissed him. I spread my legs to allow him more access as I kissed his soft lips. His thumb found my clit and he circled it around my swollen nub. He also added a second finger, curling them inside of my body. I could feel something build inside of me. I wasn’t sure what it was but, it felt amazing. I had no control over the lower part of my body. I could feel my body buck against his hand, desperately wanting to feel more of him. I wanted to feel all of him. I wanted him to make love to me.

Not tonight, Bella…it’s the impending orgasm talking right now.

So that’s the feeling I’m experiencing in my belly.

“Bella,” Edward choked out. “Come for me, sweet girl.” I moaned and gripped his neck tighter. My hips were moving with his fingers. Our eyes were locked in on each other as I started to unravel and shatter around him. I could feel my muscles around his fingers begin to tighten. “That’s it, Bella. Let it go.” His hand moved faster inside of me as much as my panties would allow. “I want to see you come, Bella.” He kissed my lips and continued moving his hand.

“Edward,” I whimpered. I was panting and clinging to him. “More!”

“You’re so fucking tight, Bella. I can’t wait until it’s my cock inside of you,” he growled in my ear. “I desperately want to make love to you, Bella. I want to feel you around me and make you come. Can you come for me? Scream my name! No one will hear you, love. It’s just me. I love you and I want to feel your pussy clench around my fingers, baby.”

I fell back and let out a guttural scream, streaming profanities mixed in with his name as my body reacted to his dirty talk. And just like that, Edward gave me my very first orgasm. I slowly returned to earth as Edward languidly removed his hand from my body. His lips were gently gliding along my temple. He still circled around my clit and eventually as my twitching stopped, he removed his hand from my panties. He looked at me as he put his fingers that were just inside of me into his mouth. “Just as suspected, very sweet girl,” he said with a wink. I blushed and hid my face. “Oh, no. I just saw the most beautiful in the world with you coming around my fingers. You do not get to get shy now.”

“You liked tasting that?” I asked.

“Very much,” he answered. I grabbed his hand and sucked his middle finger that was inside of me into my mouth. “Holy fuck,” he groaned. I tasted myself on his finger, obviously diluted since he had already sucked most of it off. But, it wasn’t nasty like I had thought, but it wasn’t all that pleasant, either. I removed his finger and his eyes were glazed over.

“What?” I asked.

“Nothing. Just my mind is going into hyperdrive with seeing you suck my finger. My pervy brain was imagining it was my dick,” he chuckled nervously.

“I’m probably not ready to do that but I can feel how hard you are, Edward,” I said as turned to face him. I traced my fingers along the waistband of his sleep pants. I gently cupped his arousal over the pants and was shocked at how big he felt. He hissed and tightened his hold on me.

“Bella, you don’t have to,” he said, his voice straining.

“I know I don’t have to,” I said as I nibbled on his ear. “You didn’t have to do what you did to me. But you did. I want to do this to you, baby. I want to see you come.” My hand slid into his sleep pants, only to be greeted with his arousal.

“Can I take off my pants? I don’t want to, um…” he blushed. “Jesus, I’ve seen people in various states of undress and can diagnose various medical conditions…”

“You don’t want to come in your pants?” I giggled.

“Right,” he said as he lifted his butt up, removing his pants, shoving them down to his knees. His cock was in my hands and what I felt was nothing compared to actually seeing it. Dear God…how is that going to fit inside of me?  

“I don’t know what to do,” I said.

“Well, we’re going to need some lotion,” Edward said quietly. I nodded and grabbed some of my lotion from my bag. “Put the lotion on your hand.” I squirted some lotion onto my palm and wrapped my hand around his cock. He hissed again.

“Sorry,” I mumbled.

“You’re fine. It’s just cold,” he chuckled nervously. “Now, do what feels natural. I’ll let you know if it’s not comfortable.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” I said, my eyes wide as I began moving my hand up and down his shaft.

“You won’t,” he assured me as his hand wrapped around mine, guiding my movements. Together, he showed me what he liked. He also told me that I could play with his balls and the skin behind them. The only thing that made Edward uncomfortable was if anyone got too close to his ass.

Hell, I’d be uncomfortable, too.

It’s one way only.


Edward eventually removed his hand and I gripped his cock, twisting and moving my hand along his arousal. His breathing was erratic as he watched my hand. Feeling bold, I moved my other hand to his balls and gently cupped them. I rolled them in my hand as I toyed with the head of erection. “Fuck, Bella,” Edward moaned. “Faster, please.”

“Like this?” I asked as I moved my hand up and down his cock. He licked his lips and nodded. He was watching me intently as I gave him the hand job. His hips were moving with my hands, creating more friction. I removed my hand from his balls and I circled it around his head of his cock. He moaned loudly, his head falling back onto the pillows. “Good?”

“Amazing. Don’t stop,” he panted out. “Bella, I’m so close. Don’t fucking stop.” I bit my lip and continued my movements on his body. Edward sat up and gently cupped my head. His lips descended on mine, kissing me hungrily. His other hand cupped my breast as he grunted against my mouth. His dick twitched in my hand and I could feel some extra lubrication in addition to my lotion. “Holy hell,” Edward groaned as he looked down at my hands. “I’m…Bella…I’m…FUCK!” he roared as he fell back on the pillows. His white, creamy come squirted from his body, covering his belly and my hands. I continued stroking his now deflating penis until it slid out of my hands. Edward was breathing heavily and didn’t really notice that I got up from the bed to grab a warm washcloth to wipe down his stomach. Once I was done, Edward gathered me into his arms. He smothered my face with loving kisses, earning a giggle from me. “That was…no words…I love you,” he said as he continued to kiss me.

“I love you, too,” I said as I brushed his hair back from his face. “I’m sorry about earlier. I’m trying…I really am.”

“I know, sweet girl,” he chuckled. “I understand what you’re dealing with, somewhat. I want you to earn my trust and I hope that I have.”

“You’re getting there,” I said as I lay down next to him, wrapping my arms around his waist. Edward had pulled up his pants and held me to his chest. “Just keep doing what you’re doing. And promise me you’ll tell me what happened while you were in the bathroom.”

“Tomorrow morning, sweet girl,” he mumbled sleepily. “You plum tuckered me out, love. Shall we sleep?”

“Let me put my nightgown on,” I said as I reached for it.

“Nuh huh,” he said as he held me to his chest. “I love feeling your bare chest against me.” His eyes were at half mast and his words were getting more and more slurred. I nodded and curled up next to him. “Sleep well, my Bella. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” I answered, pressing a kiss above his heart. He smiled and held me tightly.

xx APFL xx

The next morning, Edward was up before me and he had arranged for breakfast. Specifically, breakfast in bed. When I woke up, I sat up and saw a smiling Edward standing with a tray. During the night, I had to put something on since it was freezing in the room. Edward’s body heat helped a little, but I was still shivering. I pulled on Edward’s dress shirt during the night and was definitely more comfortable after that.

“Nice shirt,” he teased as he put the tray over my legs.

“I got cold,” I quipped as I looked at what he ordered. Pancakes, French toast, eggs, sausage, bacon, fresh fruit, coffee, yogurt… “Jesus, I hope you don’t expect me to eat all of this.”

“Heavens no. Half of it is for me,” he said as he climbed into the bed. We shared our meal and chatted about Edward’s trip that he won to Oahu. He was adamant that I go with him. He even pulled up his calendar on his phone, pointing out time where it would be best for us to go. But, I could tell that he was trying to distract me. It wasn’t going to work.

“Edward, I’m going to shower and then we need to talk about what happened last night,” I said sternly.

He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “I know. You go shower and we’ll talk once you’re done,” he said quietly. I kissed his lips chastely before getting up. I grabbed my jeans, shirt and underwear before heading into the bathroom. My shower was long. It felt wonderful with the water falling over my body. I washed my skin, blushing at where Edward had touched me last night. I could still feel the aftershocks this morning. My body was still reeling from the orgasm that Edward had given me. I shook it off and finished my shower. I dried my hair and put on some light makeup before heading back out into the suite.

Edward was wearing a pair of jeans and a sweater. He was playing a game on his phone, his tongue sticking out adorably as he tried to beat the level on Angry Birds or some shit like that. “Did you win?”

He fumbled the phone and sent it flying. “Damn it! No,” he grumbled as he picked up his cell. “Seriously, you’re like so quiet. I need to get you a bell or something.”

“Sorry,” I giggled. He scowled at me playfully before turning off the game and putting his phone in his pocket. “When do you work next?”

“Tuesday,” he answered. “You?”

“The same, Tuesday,” I replied. “Seven to seven. So…last night…”

He sighed and ran his hands over his face. “I’m struggling, Bella. Honestly, I don’t know what to do. I’m going to tell you but there needs to be some sort of ramifications…”

“Ramifications?” I asked. “Start from the beginning, Edward.”

“Okay,” he said. “Last night, when I went to the bathroom, I overheard Newton and Crowley talking shit about you. They were making snide commentary about you being here with me and my family. They were talking about how you looked and about our relationship. It was at that time that I let them know that I was in the bathroom with them and reminded them about representing the hospital. In addition, I called them middle school girls for gossiping in the bathroom.”

“Oh,” I replied intelligently. “Edward, you can’t really do anything about them talking in the bathroom. We’re not at the hospital. Besides, everyone is entitled to their opinion. If Newton and Crowley think that way, then, it’s their prerogative. If they can’t look past their prejudice and the patients suffer, then there can be ramifications. I tend to avoid them when I’m working but when I do, they’re professional and detached.”

“Bella, they said things that were hurtful about you,” Edward frowned.

“They’ve been saying them for years and will probably continue saying them until they leave or they’re fired,” I shrugged. “I’ve accepted it and you have to as well. But, you may soon become a target, too.”

“Possibly,” he sighed. “But, I can always write them up.”

“Edward, don’t abuse your power like that,” I said harshly. “I get what you’re trying to do, but I don’t want you to get in trouble for trying to defend me. If they are acting like assholes, then I’ll let you or Dr. Sanchez know. You have to trust me to handle my own issues. I’ll come to you if and when it becomes a problem. Okay?”

“Okay,” he answered as he kissed my forehead. “Let’s check out and do some couple-y things.”

“Couple-y things?” I teased.

“Hold hands, go to a movie, go out to dinner, fool around,” he shrugged, giving me his signature crooked grin. “I’m partial to the last one. Especially since last night.”

I narrowed my eyes at him as he put his head on my shoulder. His hand moved to my thigh, inching closer to my core. I wanted him. I wanted him to touch me but, I still wanted to have a relationship with him. “How about a movie?”

“You’re killing me, Smalls,” he grumbled. “But if you want a movie, we’ll go to a movie. As long as I get to hold you tonight when we go to bed.”

“Your bed or mine?” I quipped.

“Now we’re talking,” he smirked as he kissed me silly.

We went to a movie and then for some pizza afterward. Then, we went back to Edward’s place. He lit a fire and we listened some quiet jazz music curled up under a chenille throw blanket. We spoke quietly about the ball, what had happened in the hotel room, his fight with Jasper about me and the subsequent making up, my relationship with Rose and Carlisle’s information about my dad’s issues with his medical bills. However, I didn’t want to talk about my dad so I distracted Edward by kissing him silly. We ended up fooling around on his couch in front of the fire. The orgasm I had in front of that fire was more intense than the one in the hotel room, but I think a lot of it has to do with my comfort level with him. Each kiss and caress brings me closer to him. I am trusting him more and more.

He finds me to be desirable despite my weight.

He loves me without asking for anything in return.

He listens when I’m upset.

He fights for me when I’m wronged.

I had to do something for him. I wanted to do something for him. He made me feel special and now I want to do the same for him. But how?

xx APFL xx

Monday I headed back to my apartment. I had to do laundry and I wanted to get Edward something. Using Angela’s laptop, I looked for a few ideas but nothing was sticking out in my opinion. I was nowhere closer to finding a solution to my present problem when Angela burst through the door.

“LUCY, I’M HOME!” she laughed.

“In the living room, Ricky,” I joked back.

Angela came into the living room and plopped down next to me. “You better not be downloading porn, Swan,” she snickered. “If you do, at least get the shit with a plot.”

“No, no porn,” I said as I leaned my head against hers. “How was work?”

“Busy as shit,” she grumbled. “Jessica and Newton were worthless today. They apparently got together at the ball and were all over each other at work. Jessica said that if you could flaunt your relationship with a doctor, she’s going to do the same. What-the-fuck-ever.”

“If that’s the sole reason for them getting together, then their relationship is doomed for failure,” I said.

“I agree,” she murmured. “So, what are you looking at?”

“I want to get Edward something for just being him,” I answered. “Any suggestions?”

“Well, I did get the pictures from the ball,” she said. “Maybe you can use one of them in your present.” She hopped up and grabbed the mail. She tossed a shutterfly envelope onto my lap. I tore into it and pulled the photos out. Angela and I spent nearly an hour pouring over the photos. There were some really sweet pictures of each of the couples at the table. We pulled those aside along with an awesome picture of Edward with Jasper and Rose. I was now holding two pictures of Edward and me. They were both in black and white since Angela was an artistic girl. “I think you should go with that one,” Angela suggested pointing to the picture where Edward and I standing, staring into each other’s eyes.

“But I like this one better,” I said as I held up the other photo. Edward had his arms around me and I was laughing at something while Edward had his nose buried in my neck.

“Honest opinion?” Angela asked.

“Of course.”

“The one I picked really shows the love between the two of you. Nothing can penetrate this bubble you two are in,” Angela explained. “Edward’s hands on your face, buried in your hair show how much he cherishes you. His eyes are burning with desire and his crooked smirk gives him a playful look. You are looking at him like he can do no wrong. There’s a softness to you that I’ve never seen and I love it, Bells.”

“When you put it that way,” I whispered. “I’ll use this one.”

“Good. I’m glad I made extra copies of it,” she said, handing me a second copy of the same print. “Put it on your nightstand, Bella. You’ll have your man next to you regardless of where you are. Let me change and then we’ll go to HomeGoods to get an awesome frame for your pictures. One for you and one for Edward.”

“Kay,” I smiled. She clapped her hands and bounced away. I went to grab my purse from my room and then waited for Angela in the living room. She came back out in a pair of jeans and a hoodie. She grabbed her keys and said that we were going to drive to the store, taking her Civic. A short drive later, we parked in the lot. Inside, we found several frames that would work but I ultimately decided on a black frame with different ways of saying ‘I love you.’ I also picked up a plain silver frame for my photo, nothing too fancy.

As we were leaving the store, I noticed something in the jewelry counter. It was a brown leather cuff bracelet with stainless steel accents. It looked masculine and something that Edward would wear. It actually looked a lot like his watch that he wore every day. I asked the attendant if I could see the bracelet. She eagerly took it out and seemed excited to sell it to me. I liked it for Edward. So, on a whim, I paid for that along with my frames before we left the store.

Angela suggested we go out to eat and we headed to some burger joint. Over some greasy burgers and fries, she told me more about her day at work and some of the crazy patients she had. Then, she asked me about my time with Edward after we left the ball. I blushed, not wanting to divulge too much. I didn’t want to disrespect my relationship with Edward by gossiping with Angela. However, I did tell her some brief details about how we fooled around and that I had my first orgasm. Angela let out a loud squeal, earning a disdainful glare from the manager. Angela flipped him off and turned her attention back to me. However, after her fangirly scream, the moment was lost and we turned our conversation about her and Ben. Her eyes got all dreamy and she gushed about all of Ben’s great points.

Not to mention the epic size of his cock.

Didn’t need to know that.

We paid our bill and walked back to Angela’s car. She parked the car and we noticed that James was throwing away his garbage in the basement. He was definitely getting more and more odd. He was always home. He didn’t appear to have a job and his appearance was getting more unkempt. Angela pushed me toward the stairs and we hoofed it up to our apartment. I was breathing heavily and I made a mental note to start working out. In our building, there’s a workout facility. I may as well use it. It’s free for all residents. I should be able to go up and down several sets of stairs without feeling like I’m going to die.

Upstairs, Angela and I went to our rooms. I sent Edward a text, telling him that I had a surprise for him tomorrow. Like a big kid, he began pestering me for hints but I wouldn’t budge. He’d just have to wait until I see him tomorrow. We said our goodbyes over the phone since Edward was now in the car. He was working out with his friend, Emmett. Before we hung up, Edward tried to wheedle out what I got him but I just sang that I loved him, hanging up the phone.

I picked up my journal and flipped to the next page. I had already put Edward’s love letter inside. I gently ran my fingers along his elegant script as I began writing inside of the leather bound book.

February 18th, 2013

So this past weekend was the ball for the hospital. Edward called me ‘CinderBella’ and I did feel like that. A total princess… I wore a beautiful dress, was adorned with precious gems (something called tanzanite. I’d never seen it before but it was so beautiful), danced with Prince Charming, and got my 
groove on.

Yes, you heard right. I got my groove on.

Not sex, though.

I went to make a 100% sure that I’m ready for sex before we dive headlong into that aspect of our relationship. It doesn’t mean we can’t fool around, though. And fool around we did.

Two amazing orgasms from my amazing boyfriend. Yep, two of ‘em. Prior to this weekend, I’ve had zero orgasms. I was always so leery about masturbating in my dad’s apartment. And Jacob, well, he was all about him. Nothing was about me. Heaven forbid he actually be selfless for a change as opposed to selfish. But this isn’t about Jacob. It’s about me and Edward.

You want to talk about selfless – Edward would be the epitome, picture in the dictionary, shining example and definition of selfless. That man deserves sainthood for dealing with me and my epic neuroses. He is also the most generous man I’ve ever met. He opened up his house for me when I fell and again when I was booted out of my apartment. Then, he smothers me love, affection, attention and physical, tangible gifts. As a token of my appreciation, I’ve gotten him a few presents. I just hope he likes them. I got a framed photo of the two of us from the ball along with a cool looking man’s leather bracelet. I’d like to get him more, but honestly, that’s all I could afford right now.

My concern is that with all of this ‘lovin,’ why can’t I wrap my head around Edward wanting to be with me? I’m still keeping Edward at arm’s length. Though, this weekend was a breakthrough for us. Well, for me. I trusted him enough to bring me to orgasm and to see me with a majority of my clothes off. AND HE STILL WANTS ME!

I’m still in shock.

I so need to stop this. Edward loves me. I love him. If I had my way, I’d be with him forever. The way he’s talking, he wants the same thing. Be more confident, Bella. Confidence is key. How do I get it?


Anyhow, that’s my goal to get more confidence.

I AM worth Edward, but he’s not the only key to my happiness, self-worth and self-love.

I AM worthy of my job despite what some of co-workers see.

I AM smart, beautiful and funny.



If only, I could believe what I’m writing…

xx APFL xx

“Mrs. Packer, here are the aftercare instructions for your burn,” I explained. “It’s important that you keep the dressing clean and dry. If it gets wet, you could run the risk of infection.”

“How am I supposed to change the dressing?” she asked, frowning slightly.  “I live alone with my cats and it’s because of the damn cat that I got burned in the first place.”

“You can either go to your regular physician or an urgent care clinic if you need assistance,” I explained.
“Aw, hell, the ER is my regular physician and the closest urgent care clinic is an hour ride on public transit,” she scowled.

“Look, I’ll make you a deal, Mrs. Packer,” I began as I sat down in front of her. “You can either ask for me or Dr. Cullen. We’re scheduled on for the next six days during the day. We’ll take care of your dressing changes. You should be in the clear after that and can handle your own dressing changes since it should be no more than a band aid and some antibiotic gel. It may be a wait, but we’ll get to you.”

“What do I have to do with my time?” she shrugged. “I’m retired, living in a shithole apartment since my ex-husband decided to spend all of his money on his new wife, Twixie, Trixie, or Bimbo. Besides, my cats are better company, even if they are a liability. Thank you, Nurse Swan. I appreciate your willingness to help out a decrepit, crotchety old woman.”

“You’re not decrepit or crotchety,” I smiled. “You’re seasoned, like a fine wine.” She rolled her eyes and waved her burnt hand. “And since you’re going to be in here a bunch, call me Bella.”

“Thank you, Bella,” she said with a wink. “And I’m not Mrs. Packer anymore. I’m Cecelia, but you can call me Cece.”

“Awesome,” I replied. “Here’s your prescription for an antibiotic and a mild pain killer. We have a pharmacy here in the hospital. It’s up a floor, just to the right of the main lobby. See you tomorrow?”

“Will do, Bella. Say goodbye to Dr. Cullen for me,” she smirked. “He’s quite the looker.”

“That he is. Nurses and patients swoon on sight,” I giggled. “Any other questions, Cece?”

“No. I’m good, Bella. Thank you for taking care of me, sweetie,” Cece said with a sad smile. I nodded and helped her into her jacket. Together, we walked to the exit of the ER and she left, giving me a wave. Turning on my heel, I moved back to the circulation desk and checked if there were any available patients. Thankfully, there weren’t and I decided to use that time to run to Perkalator to get something to eat. Carmen, the nurse manager, was doing some charting when I walked up to the desk.

“Carmen, I’m going to run to get something to eat, okay?”

“Sure,  Bella,” she said as she looked up at me, giving me a warm smile. “Can you pick me up a coffee? I have my nephew visiting this week since his parents are on their decamoon, celebrating ten years of marriage, and he’s keeping me up at nights.”

“Sure. Anything in particular?”

“Big. Heavy on the caffeine,” she quipped.

“Got it,” I said. “I’ll be back in a half hour with your coffee.” Carmen nodded and I turned to get my coat from my locker. Edward was in a meeting with the other department heads. Eleazar had invited to join the meeting and much to Edward’s chagrin, he went. I was hoping we’d have time to spend some time eating lunch in his office, but he was upstairs and had been since nearly nine this morning.

After I put on my coat, I darted out of the ER, waving at Carmen as I left. She smiled pleasantly. I enjoyed the balmy February weather. It was warmer today than it had been in a few weeks. The sun was shining and it was just above forty degrees. It was nice to feel the warmth of the sun on my face and not have to button my jacket all the way up.

I reached the Perkalator and ordered myself a cup of coffee, along with Carmen’s venti coffee. I also chose a salad and some yogurt. I paid for my order and decided to eat in the restaurant. I had my pager if they needed me. The ER was pretty dead today and most of us nurses were restocking shelves and checking inventory.

I finished my meal and grabbed some creamer, sugar and sweetener for Carmen before I left Perkalator. I was humming quietly as I walked back to work. I was almost back to the ER when I heard my name being called. Or rather, ‘Worthless Offspring.’

What the hell does he want?

I turned and saw Charlie crutching his way toward me with Sam Uley following him. “What, Charlie?” I spat.

“You bitch. You stopped paying my medical bills,” Charlie growled as he towered over me.

“You honestly think that you kick me out and that I’m going to continue paying your bills, Charlie? It doesn’t work like that, you ass,” I seethed. “The night you dumped my shit into the dumpster and changed the locks on me, you lost a daughter. I’m no longer responsible for your crap and if you expect it, then you have some major issues.”

“How in the fucking hell am I supposed to pay for the apartment, my bills and my medical shit, Isabella?” Charlie demanded. “You left me high and dry.”

“NO! You threw me out of the apartment on CHRISTMAS, you ASSHOLE!” I screamed. “What sort of fucking MONSTER does that? YOU!”

Edward must have seen me shouting with my dad and he was immediately by my side. “Mr. Swan, you are harassing a member of my staff. I suggest you leave,” he said in a serious tone, not one for any argument.

“Fuck off, pretty boy. I’m talking to my daughter,” Charlie fumed.

I growled and moved toward Charlie, wanting to hurt him. “I’M NOT YOUR FUCKING DAUGHTER!” I screamed. Edward’s arms reached around my waist and he pulled me behind him. “YOU’RE DEAD TO ME!”

“Bella, please, go inside,” Edward said quietly.

“We’re not done talking,” Charlie insisted. “I’m not leaving until she pays my medical bills.”

“Mr. Swan, I know for a fact that the hospital has created a very reasonable payment plan for you,” Edward said calmly. “You just need to make the payments on time. Now, if you have further questions, you can contact our billing department. In regards to Bella, please refrain from discussing with her at her place of employment.”

“Please refrain from talking to me period,” I sneered. “Fuck off, Charlie. Burn in hell.” I turned and walked toward the entrance to the ER. I felt a sharp pull on my hair and I fell onto my back.

“MR. SWAN! Do I need to call the police?” Edward growled. He crouched next to me and helped me up. Charlie was holding a handful of my hair. “Being a former police officer, you know that you just assaulted your daughter, right? She can press charges and you’d be tossed into jail.”

“She’s so fucking weak; she wouldn’t do it,” Charlie scoffed. He turned and crutched away, Sam following like a lost puppy dog.

“I want to press charges,” I said loudly so my sperm donor could hear. “You’re done abusing me, Charlie. Assault, battery and harassment…I’m getting a restraining order.” Edward checked my head and I could feel the blood seep onto my scrubs from the now obvious bald spot on my head from where Charlie pulled my hair.

“I’m glad I called security,” Edward said with a crooked grin. The two security guards showed up and blocked Charlie’s escape. “Bring him into the conference room on the second floor. We have a few phone calls to make.”

“Yes, Dr. Cullen,” the younger guard said as he gestured to the door. Charlie’s mouth dropped and he tried to leave, only to be forced toward the door. Edward helped me up and gathered me in his arms.

“I’m so proud of you, sweet girl,” he said in my ear. I nodded woodenly, shocked at how I spoke to Charlie. “I love you, Bella.” I stiffly wrapped my arms around his waist and let Edward guide me into the ER.
What does this mean, now?

A/N: So, what does it mean?  What should happen with Charlie and Bella? He’s obviously wrong and is a douche. What should the repercussions be? Share your opinions, please! Also, how about that lime I gave you in the first part of the chapter? Good, huh? LOL. Our favorite doctor and nurse will eventually get their swerve on. We just need to have a slow build.

Up next will be the aftermath of what happened between Charlie and Bella…
Pictures of the presents that Bella got Edward are on my blog (link in my profile). Also, come hang out in my Facebook group: Tufano79’s Twilight Fanfiction Appreciation. We discuss this, along with my other stories and Rob Porn. (Who doesn’t love a little Rob Porn…he’s so pretty…)
Leave me some!