A Prescription for Love ~ Chapter Five

This is different from the norm. In all of the stories that I’ve read or that I’ve seen, all of the characters are disgustingly perfect unless they are written with very clear flaws. This story is about love (um, duh! Look who’s writing it. I’m the queen of romance), and finding it in the least likely place with the least likely person.

Now, this story is based in a hospital. My medical training comes from…WebMD. I’m not a doctor, nor do I claim to be. I’m a music teacher who has a wild imagination and a penchant for all things Twilight (and with this story, added in a mix of ER! I loved Luca Kovac…) Which brings me to my disclaimer: None of this is mine. I’m not, nor ever will be, Stephenie Meyer. If was, I’d be rolling in the dough from her insane imagination that gave us Bella and Edward. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter Five

BPOV

When I got home from my dinner with Edward, I snuck into my apartment. The snores from my dad’s room indicated he was asleep and I was secretly grateful. I didn’t want to deal with his bullshit. I slipped into room and gathered my shower essentials. I quickly hosed off in the decrepit shower. I took the time to blow dry my hair straight and I went back into my room. Locking my door, I put on some warm flannel pajamas. Since money was so tight, we kept the heat as cool as it could be and tonight was supposed to dip below zero. I added a fleece hoodie to my body and I picked up one of Edward’s journals from his present.

I ran my fingers along the soft leather, smiling tenderly at his generous gift. I couldn’t get him anything tomorrow, but I would thank him for his present. I picked up one of the pens and turned to the front page.

December 24^th, 2012

Merry Christmas to me! For the first time since my mom died, I received a Christmas present. A Christmas present from my good friend, Edward. You like it? It’s these dashing journals and the fuck-awesome pen that I’m writing with. It’s surprising that a man that I’ve just met can get me the most perfect present. This is the only way for me to cope with my life. Writing and journaling. I’m so blessed.

But, I’m done with feeling sorry for myself. I want to finally live my life. And here’s how I’m going to do it.

1. Move out from my dad’s apartment. Yes, he’s sick and needs my help, but he’s abused me long enough. I shouldn’t have to hear from him that I’m worthless, fat and ugly. I’ll still help with his medical bills, but I cannot stay here. Thankfully, I have a new place lined up. I’m moving in with Angela. YAY! So, legitimately, I can check this step off. Go me!
2. Move in with Angela. There’s a few steps with this one. I’ve already made arrangements to move in with her, but I don’t have any furniture.
3. Buy furniture for my new place with Ang. Things I need to get: queen sized bed. (I’m upgrading, baby!), nightstand, bookshelf, small desk and a new shower curtain for my very own bathroom. IF there’s money left over, perhaps get a laptop.
4. Distance myself from my dad. Yes, he’s my only living relative, but he’s not worth the trouble. Edward is right. The Bella ‘gravy train’ is pulling out of the station.
5. Don’t put up with any bullshit from my co-workers. There is a new harassment policy for a reason. Inform Dr. Sanchez and Edward if anyone is treating me unfairly because of my weight or my so-called inadequacies.
6. Wake up and every day tell myself that I’m special and I’m worth it.
7. Work on improving myself, mentally, emotionally and physically. Mentally, perhaps research on getting my masters to be a nurse practitioner. It’s not a doctor, but I’d have autonomy over myself. Emotionally, begin seeing a counselor to improve my self-esteem and self-worth. Physically, get in better shape. I know I’m not a thin girl, but I can be healthier. I’ll never be a size two, but I can make better choices in what I eat and what I do physically.
8. Join a gym? (Heh, maybe not. We’ll see. Money is a factor on this one).
9. Nurture and love my friends: Angela, Alice and Edward.

So, these are my steps to a happier, healthier me. I think I can do this. I hope I can do this. With my friends, I’m certain I can. Anyhow, I’ve got a long day at the hospital tomorrow.

Merry Christmas!

I smiled and closed my journal, placing it into my messenger bag. I put the other three journals into my bag as well. I also added a pair of jeans and another sweater. I had to wash the clothes I had worn to Butch McGuire’s. Once I set my alarm, I crawled into bed. It was still in tatters, but at least I had a warm blanket and my pillows were unaffected. For the first time in a long time, I went to sleep with a smile on my face.

Unfortunately, I didn’t wake up with a smile. The alarm was going off and it was fucking freezing. I groaned as I rolled out of bed. I put on a pair of navy scrubs with a Christmas themed top. Since it was so wicked cold, I put on a long sleeved shirt on underneath my scrub top. I moved across the hallway to brush my teeth and put on some makeup. Finishing up my routine, I put on my new coat and my hiking boots. I made sure my stethoscope and ID badge were in my bag before I slipped it over my shoulders.

I glowered at my dad’s closed door as I left, heading out into the cold. It had snowed overnight and the sidewalks were slick. I didn’t want to slip and fall so I walked slowly to the el platform. Once I got up to the platform, I took out a book and read until I reached my stop near Cook County Hospital. Carefully, I stepped onto the platform and walked down the steps. Surprisingly, I got into the hospital without falling on my ass despite the slickness of the roads.

After I took off my coat, changed my shoes and clocked in, I checked in with the nursing manager, Carmen. She handed me a handful of charts. Apparently the ER picked up after I had clocked out last night. Two of the patients that I received were food poisoning victims, plus one older gentleman who slipped and fell while shoveling his driveway. I scuttled away, checking on my patients and making sure they were comfortable. 

My food poisoning victims were asleep and the gentleman was so looped up on pain killers that he kept saying that there was a puce orangutan in the corner of his room. I checked their IV bags and went to the circulation desk to pick up some more charts. We were running on a skeleton crew today, so everyone took a ton of patients.

“Mornin, roomie,” Angela smirked from her spot at the circulation desk. “How was Christmas Eve?”

“Dead,” I answered. “Completely dead. We had one patient all day.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Angela snorted. “Really? Hopefully, we’ll have the same divine providence today. My parents are desperate to see me and with this snow, it’ll take me FOREVER to get out to Wheaton.”

“When are you off?” I asked.

“Seven to four,” Angela answered. “Why don’t you come with me for Christmas? I know that Charlie won’t do shit for you. My mom wouldn’t mind an extra person at her table. She makes enough for a small country.”

“I don’t get off until seven,” I frowned. “Thanks, Ang. Perhaps some other time.”

“Fine,” she said as she hugged me. “Oh, I got you a Christmas present. Don’t try and say that it’s too much because I wanted to”

“Angela,” I frowned. “I didn’t get you anything.”

“You’re moving in with me and that’s all I can ask for,” she said as she handed me a small bag. “Open it up!”

I smiled and tore into the bag. Inside was a green iPod nano. “Angela…”

“Consider it a Christmas present and a welcome to my apartment present,” she said as she hugged me, kissing my cheek. “I’ve already loaded it up with some of my favorite songs, which I know you love.”

“Thank you,” I said as I hugged her back. “Once I get settled in our place, I’ll cook you the best meal ever and yeah!”

“Can I get the best meal, too?” Edward quipped as he snuck up to the circulation desk.

“You get cookies,” I teased. “Angela gets a full meal. She’s opening up her home and she got me an iPod.”

“An iPod? Sweet gift, Ang,” Edward said as he swiped the iPod from my hands. “Pretty decent music, too. You like this music, Bella?”

“Let me see,” I said as I flipped through the songs. Evanescence, Flyleaf, Linkin Park, Ella Fitzgerald and a bunch of movie soundtracks were on the iPod and I nodded. “Angela and I have similar tastes in music. However, she’s more of a jazzer. I’m partial to more classical music, particularly Debussy, Tchaikovsky, Dvorak and Brahms.”

“I’ll have to give you some CDs so you can load this up,” Edward smirked. “How many gigabytes does this puppy have?”

“Eight gig,” Angela answered. “You can bring your music when you help this one move! It’ll be so much fun! Ben’s off too and he’s willing to offer his muscles.”

“Ang, Ben has no muscles,” I deadpanned. “And since when are you pimping out your crush?”

“Um, since when he asked if I would be his girlfriend?” Angela squealed. “We went out the night before last and he asked if I would be his girlfriend.”

“That’s wonderful, Angela,” Edward smiled crookedly. “Ben’s a good guy. He’s lucky to have you.”

The radio crackled. I darted over to it and listened intently. One of the local fire stations was calling in with car accident victims: a family on their way to church in this snow. I asked the status of the family. The children were banged up but okay, for the most part. The parents were a hot mess. Edward flew into full-on doctor mode and began barking out orders. I confirmed the receipt of the victims, directing them to County.

“Bella, you’re with me,” Edward said as he handed me a pair of gloves. “Based off what you heard, who is the most critical?”

“Mom,” I answered. “She was driving and they were hit head on. Dad is bad off, but over the radio, I could hear them run a code on her.”

“God damn it,” Edward spat. “We need a miracle, Bella. Say your prayers.” The ambulance pulled up and the EMT and paramedic hopped out of the back of the rig. “What have you got?”

“Two children, a boy and a girl,” answered the EMT.

“Roll them into curtain area two. Angela, you go with them and work with Carter,” Edward directed.

“Sure, Dr. Cullen,” Angela smiled as she walked them to curtain area two. Dr. Carter, a third year resident followed Angela. That ambulance pulled away and another pulled up. Inside was Dad and he was begging to see his children. From the looks of it, he had a nasty gash on his forehead and possibly a broken leg. Considering he was conscious, Edward told the EMTs to bring him to curtain area two and would be there to check on him once we stabilized his wife.

“What’s taking them so long?” I asked, wringing my hands as we stood just inside the ambulance bay doors.

“I don’t know. The longer she’s in that rig, the less likely we get our miracle,” Edward frowned. We waited for five minutes. The ambulance finally pulled up and the faces of the paramedic told us what we feared. Edward snarled but he still ran out to greet the ambulance. “Talk to me.”

“She coded on the way to the ER. But, she’s a vegetable. Gray matter was all over the seat of her van,” answered the paramedic.

“Bring her in,” Edward said. The EMT was pounding on her chest while the paramedic breathed for her. The woman, a thirty-seven year old mother of two, was barely recognizable. Her face was cut to pieces and her legs were strewn akimbo on the stretcher. The pair rattled off her meager vitals and Edward was assessing her. I took over the bag and that’s when I saw it. The entire top of her head was gone. Her brain was oozing out of the gauze that was wrapped around her forehead.

I turned off my emotions and we went through the motions of trying to save this poor woman, but it was fruitless. After working over her ravaged body for over an hour, Edward called her death. Growling, he left the trauma room. I stayed with another nurse, Rachel, to clean up the woman. We washed her face and sutured her wounds. Anything to make her look more human.

“Bella, I have her latest blood work,” Angela said, with tears in her eyes. She was standing by the doorway, holding the paper with the patient’s results.

I sighed and walked over to her, taking the paper and reading the results. “Oh, God,” I sobbed. “No…”

“Yes,” Angela frowned. “She was pregnant.”

“Get Dr. Cullen,” I murmured. “He should know.”

“You should get him. He’s in his office,” Angela said as she hugged me. “I’ll finish cleaning her up.” I nodded and walked down the hallway to Edward’s office. The door was closed and I could hear him hissing inside. I gently knocked on the door and waited for him to either beckon me inside or open it.

“Come in,” Edward said brokenly.

I opened the door and closed it. This was obviously causing him distress and the added issue of the baby would probably cause him to fly off the handle. Maybe? “I’m sorry, but have you spoken to Mr. Bueller yet?”

“No. He’s in radiology with his children,” Edward replied his green eyes dead and detached. “Their daughter has a broken wrist and their son has broken hip.”

“Will either one need surgery?” I asked.

“The son,” Edward answered. “What’s up, Bella?”

“I got the blood test results for Mrs. Bueller,” I murmured. “She was pregnant.”

“Fuck!” Edward yelled as he fell onto his couch, cradling his head in his hands. I tentatively sat down next to him and put my hand on his shoulder. “How far along?”

“Not very. Six weeks?” I replied, looking at the results. “Are you okay, Edward?”

“I hate losing a patient,” he said as he sat back, looking at me. “Especially a young one like Mrs. Bueller. She wasn’t done living. She had forty, fifty years left. What makes it worse was the baby and the fact that it’s Christmas. They should be excited at the prospect of what Santa left them, cooking a Christmas ham…not planning a funeral.”

“I’m sorry,” I whispered as I leaned my head against his shoulder. He raised his arm and hugged me to his chest, pressing his lips to my hair.

“Why are you apologizing?” he asked as he gently scratched my back.

“Seemed like the right thing to say,” I answered, looking up at him. “You didn’t cause the accident, Edward. It was the weather. You did everything that you could to try and save her. Most doctors would have seen her injuries and immediately called it. You tried for over an hour.”

“I wanted that miracle,” he whispered, staring at me. He leaned down and kissed my forehead, just shy of my goose egg. It still hurt and I groaned. “Shit, I’m sorry, Bella.”

“It’s okay. The discoloration is gone but it still hurts,” I blushed. “I did remove the sutures, though.”

“I would have done it,” he frowned.

“I’m perfectly capable of removing my own sutures,” I chided. “Will you be okay?”

“Yeah,” he said. “Normally when I lose a patient, it doesn’t hit me this hard but then again, it’s been awhile since I’ve worked on a holiday.”

“High up on the seniority list at Virginia Mason?”

“Yeah. They actually offered me the head of ER position when I went in for my exit interview but I obviously turned it down to come here,” he chuckled. “But, the nice thing is that I’m off New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day. What about you?”

“I’m on New Year’s Eve, early. I think I have the seven to four shift. Off New Year’s Day,” I answered.

Edward’s cell phone rang and he picked it up. “Dr. Cullen,” he said curtly. “Thanks, Ang. I’ll be right out. Can you call a social worker? Great.”

“Mr. Bueller is back from radiology?” I asked. Edward nodded and got up. He held out his hand, pulling me up from his couch. When our fingers touched, an energy traveled up my arm and my stomach was assaulted with a billion butterflies. I looked at our hands and they had naturally twined together as we walked to his doorway. Edward sighed and squeezed my fingers before releasing them.

“Thank you for being here for me, Bella,” he murmured, smiling softly at me. His green eyes had come back to life and they were twirling with something. What, I wasn’t sure. He opened the door and we walked to private room that the family had been moved to. A female social worker who I didn’t recognize was waiting outside of the room, clutching her clipboard. “Are you the social worker?”

“Yes,” she answered. “I’m Payton Harrington.”

“Dr. Edward Cullen and this is Isabella Swan. We cared for Mrs. Bueller when she was brought in,” Edward explained. Payton nodded and gave us both a sad smile. “Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be,” I frowned. He took a breath and pushed into the room. Angela was talking with the little girl, who couldn’t be any older than four. The boy was a little older at six or so. He was sleeping in his bed. The dad, who had his head sutured, was holding the boy’s hand, crying softly.

“Mr. Bueller?” Edward called as he walked over to the haggard man.

“Yes,” he said quietly, his voice barely above a whisper.

“I’m Dr. Edward Cullen and I worked on your wife,” he said soothingly. Mr. Bueller stared at Edward, tears falling down his cheeks. “We did everything we possibly could, but her injuries were too grave. She died shortly after nine this morning.”

“No! My Judith,” he cried. Edward pulled Mr. Bueller into his arms and he fell apart against Edward. “It’s not fair!”

“No, it’s not, Mr. Bueller,” Edward said quietly. “I’m sorry, sir, but there is more that you should know.” Mr. Bueller pulled back and eyed Edward warily. “When Nurse Swan took your wife’s blood, we ran the standard tests.”

“What are you saying?” Mr. Bueller asked, darting his eyes to me.

“Mr. Bueller, we got the results back just now and your wife, Judith, was roughly six weeks pregnant,” I said, trying to keep my emotions in check. “I’m so sorry, Mr. Bueller.”

He blinked and rubbed his face. “Can I see her? I need to see her. Say goodbye,” he said brokenly.

“Of course,” Edward said. He stood up and rolled him to the trauma room. Mrs. Bueller had been cleaned up and was laying on the hospital gurney, still as a stone. “Take as much time as you need, Mr. Bueller. Is there anyone that we can call?”

“Our parents,” he whispered as he picked up her hand.

“Bella, can you call them?” Edward asked. I nodded and wrote down the phone numbers that Mr. Bueller offered. I left him in the trauma room to make the phone calls. After a brief conversation with both sets of parents, they were on their way to the hospital.

A heavy feeling filled the hospital. It was a rough morning and everyone was feeling it. We had some more patients roll in and out of the ER, but nothing as serious as the Bueller’s accident. Mrs. Bueller was taken down to the morgue shortly after Alice arrived at three. The rest of the family left, heading back to their home.

I took my lunch break around four and headed down to the cafeteria. Perkalator was closed since it was Christmas. I got a salad, some water and since today just sucked, a brownie. I nibbled on my meal and pulled out my journal. I felt compelled to put in a short entry.

December 25^th, 2012

I learned something today. Never take anything for granted. It can be taken away in the blink of an eye. Today, a family of four was driving to church when they were hit head on by another driver due to the horrid weather. Three out of the four people survived. The fourth person, the mother, died on the table. Her injuries were too great. Even if she had survived, she would have been a vegetable. Her brain was ruined.

If I learned one thing from this, it’s that your life can change in a heartbeat. Relish in the goodness around you. Your friends. Your family. Your life. It can be gone quicker than you can imagine.

“Can I join you?” Edward asked as he put down his tray.

“Sure,” I smiled, closing my journal.

“What were you writing? Grocery list?” he quipped.

“No. Just processing,” I said. “I do appreciate the journals, Edward. Much better than what I usually use which is a ten cent notebook from CVS.”

“Now you’re stylish while you process,” he chuckled. “Does it help?”

“It does. Since I never really had anyone to talk to, my journal became my confidante,” I explained.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, Bella, why don’t you have other friends?” he asked, his brows furrowing.

“I don’t trust easily, Edward. All throughout my life, I was teased and taunted, even before the abuse from my dad. However, I had my mom as my defender until she died. Once she passed, no one rescued me and I really didn’t do much to stop it, either,” I shrugged. “It just happened. The one time I allowed myself to trust, I got my heart broken.”

“Your boyfriend?” Edward questioned.

“Yeah,” I sighed. “But, it started before that. The worst was when I was in middle school. I got a phone call from one of my ‘friends,’ inviting me to come over for a sleepover. I was so excited. I’d never been to a sleepover. I packed up my duffle bag and grabbed my sleeping bag and pillow. My mom drove me over to my friend’s house. I rang the doorbell and my friend opened the door, looking at me like I was crazy. As it turned out, another girl in my class tricked me in believing that she was my friend, Sarah. Sarah laughed at me and slammed the door in my face. I sobbed into my mom’s shoulder, hating my classmates. She called Sarah’s mother and explained what happened, screaming at the rude behavior of her daughter.

“Apparently, Sarah had known and was in cahoots with the other girl, Jodie. Sarah’s mom told my mom that Sarah knew and who the mystery caller was. Anyhow, long story short, the two girls were grounded for the rest of the school year and made my life a living hell until we reached high school,” I shrugged. “After that, I kept to myself, not wanting to open up and avoid getting hurt.”

“And the next time you did, it was your boyfriend?” Edward hissed. “What’s his name?”

“Jacob. Jacob Black,” I answered. “But, he’s another story for another time. My lunch is almost over. Do you want this?” I held up my brownie which I never got to eating.

“We’ll split it?” he offered. I nodded and opened the chocolate treat, splitting it in two. He shoved the entire brownie into his mouth like a typical guy which caused me to giggle. He picked up our trays and tossed our garbage before heading back to the ER. When we got there, Jessica was at the circulation desk, hissing quietly to the desk clerk, Maggie. Jessica smiled and left the circulation desk, winking at Edward. “She’s treading a fine line,” Edward growled.

“I know,” I said, looking up at him. “I’m going to check on my patients then spend some time stocking the trauma rooms. If I don’t see you before you leave, Merry Christmas, Edward.”

“You too, Bella,” he said with a crooked grin. “And I will see you before I leave.” He turned to check on his own patients, sauntering down the hallway to the older woman with a nasty burn on her hand. I scurried to my own patients and found them all pretty comfortable or asleep. The only patient that was causing me some issues was my older gentleman from when I first came in. His back pain had increased and we couldn’t give him anymore pain meds. Dr. Carter was fighting with the patient about releasing him. After talking with Dr. Carter and Edward, they decided to give the patient an MRI. X-rays found nothing. If the damage was significant enough, Edward would consent to admitting him for pain management. If nothing was found, the patient would be discharged with a script for toradol.

I spent the rest of my shift, documenting and checking supplies in the trauma rooms. As he promised, Edward found me in trauma room two. He looked very handsome in his black suit and red tie. “Looking sharp, Dr. Cullen,” I smirked.

“Thanks. I would prefer jeans but my mom wants us to go to mass and well, we have to dress up,” he chuckled. “Look, I know it’s last minute, but if you want to come with me?”

“No, that’s okay,” I said. “I don’t have anything to wear nor do I want to encroach on your time with your family. Thank you, though.”

“I’ll see you later, Bella. Merry Christmas,” he said as he hugged me. Holy crow, he smells good. He caressed my cheek before he left me in the trauma room. I finished my inventory and then clocked out. I waved at Alice as I headed out into the snow. Will it ever stop?

I reached the apartment after a half hour commute and unlocked the door. I headed down to the apartment and tried to push my key into the lock. It wouldn’t go. What the hell? I knocked on the door and was ignored. I crossed my arms and fell against the wall. That’s when I saw a piece of paper on the ground. It was addressed to Ungrateful Bitch. I guess that’s me.

I picked up the paper and unfolded it.

Worthless Offspring,

I found out that you were going to move out and well, let’s just say I’ve started the process for you. Your clothes are in the dumpster in the back, covered in bleach and trash. Don’t bother coming back, you bitch. You’re not welcome here.

I sighed and took out my pen. I quickly scrawled a note on the paper to my sperm donor.

Fine, Charles. Consider yourself cut off. Good luck paying your rent, your doctor bills and the utilities. Fuck you! –Worthless Offspring

I folded the note and slid back under the door and stomped up the stairs. I pulled out my cell phone and dialed Angela. She didn’t pick up. She was with her family. She didn’t need to deal with my problems. But, I had nowhere to go. I wouldn’t get a key to Angela’s place until I moved in. Her roommate was still there. Could I go to Edward’s? No, it’s not right. He should have to deal with me, either. Our friendship is too new.

But he did have a guest room.

With a heavy sigh, I put my messenger bag over my shoulder. I checked the dumpster and I couldn’t see my clothes. All I saw was trash and pizza boxes. All of my clothes were buried under that I wasn’t about to go searching for it. It’s not like I had a lot of clothes to begin with. I turned around and hailed down a cab. I rattled off Edward’s address and drove to his place. Paying the cab driver, I got out of the taxi and frowned. He was with his family, too. I couldn’t call him. I wrapped my scarf around neck and put on my hat, walking up the steps and sitting on his front stoop. I leaned against the wrought iron, huddled in my coat. Tears fell down my cheeks as I sat there. While I wasn’t sad about what had happened with my dad, I was more upset at how he did it. A note? He kicks me out of the apartment that I grew up in with a fucking note.

What a douche.

I wasn’t sure how long I was sitting on Edward’s porch when I saw his Volvo pull up. I just know that I was a fucking icicle, my lips were numb and I couldn’t stop shivering. I also think my tears were frozen to my cheeks. Edward didn’t park his car in the garage. He hopped out and he ran up to me. “Bella? What the hell are you doing sitting on my porch at midnight? You’re blue!”

“M-m-m-my d-d-d-d-dad k-k-k-kicked m-m-m-me out-t-t-t,” I stammered.

“I swear to God, I’ll fucking kill him. Come on, sweetie,” he said as he unlocked his door. “How long have you been there?” Not trusting my voice, I held up nine fingers. “Fuck, you’ve probably got hypothermia.” He took my face in his hands and he growled. “Let’s get you warmed up. Then, we’ll talk.” He helped me up the stairs but I was so numb, that I was stumbling more often than usual. Edward swept me up in his arms and finished carrying me up the stairs, putting me on the bed in the guest room. “Don’t move.”

He darted out of the bedroom and I heard him cursing. A few minutes later, he held a thermometer and stuck it in my ear. “Ninety-five point five. Jesus, Bella,” he said as he tossed the thermometer onto the bed. “Why didn’t you call me? I would have come home.”

“Y-y-y-y-you n-n-n-needed t-t-t-time with y-y-y-your f-f-f-family,” I shivered.

“You need to get warmer, Bella,” he frowned. “I’m going to run you a tepid shower. It’ll hurt like a son of a bitch. Then, we’re wrapping you in a gajillion blankets and heating pads. You could have died, Bella.” He hugged me close and I buried my nose against his neck. He yelped and pulled away. “You are a human icicle.”

“S-s-s-sorry.”  He kissed my forehead and got up. I removed my green coat. When I saw what I was wearing, my tears came anew. Edward came back in and he saw me crying.

“What’s wrong, sweet girl?” Edward asked kindly.

“All I-I-I-I h-h-h-have is wh-wh-wh-what’s on m-m-m-my b-b-b-back,” I sniffled.

“What do you mean?”

“H-h-h-he th-th-threw out m-m-m-my cl-cl-clothes,” I said.

“Bella, can I kick your dad’s ass? What person does this to their only fucking child?” he snarled. “I have some flannel pajamas and a warm fleece. We’ll hold off on your shower until you can talk without stammering. I’ll be right back, sweet girl.”

I nodded and crawled into the bed, wanting to burrow myself into the warm down comforter. Edward came back a few moments later wearing a pair of flannel pajama bottoms. He was shirtless. Even in my hypothermic fog, I couldn’t deny the beauty of Dr. Edward Cullen. And Dr. Straight-Lace Cullen had a tattoo along his ribs. He held a pair of flannel pajama bottoms for me along with a massive hoodie. “I’ll let 

you change and I’m going to make you some tea.”

I pointed to his chest, arching a brow. “Why am I shirtless?” he asked, blushing slightly. I nodded. “Because body heat is the best way to combat hypothermia. In a perfect world, we’d both be naked but since we just met and all, it probably wouldn’t be prudent. So you get a free show.” He shimmied his shoulders, causing me to giggle. “I’ll be back, Bella. Orange spice or apple cinnamon?”

“Orange sp-sp-spice,” I answered. He winked and darted out of the room. I stripped out of my scrubs, leaving on my long sleeved shirt. I pulled on the soft flannel and hoodie. It smelled like him. I inhaled deeply, reveling in Edward’s fresh clean scent. He came back up the stairs holding to mugs of tea. I took it and sipped the warm drink, sighing softly.

“Better?”

I held up my fingers, centimeters apart. “Thank you for the cl-cl-clothes,” I said sheepishly. “I’m s…”

“If you apologize, I’m taking the tea away,” he said as he crossed his arms across his bare chest. I bit my lip, looking down at the mug. “Why would you apologize?”

“I wasn’t thinking rationally. I should have just checked into a hotel or something,” I mumbled, finally pleased with my lack of ‘shivering’ in my voice. “I didn’t want to be alone, though.” I sipped my tea, inhaling the warm humid air.

“Bella, I’m glad you came,” he said as he took one of my hands in his. “Jesus, you’re still freezing. Can I check you out? Please?”

“I’m fine. Feeling better,” I said. “My teeth aren’t chattering anymore.”

“Can I at least check to see if your body is still chilled?” he asked. “Nothing will come off; I just want to check your belly to see if your torso is cold.” I bit my lip and nodded. I sat up slightly and Edward slipped his hands under my hoodie and t-shirt. “Hmmm, slightly chilled. Into bed.”  He stood up and walked to the bed and got in it. My eyes were wide in shock. “I don’t kick. My ex said I don’t snore. I am, however, a notorious cuddler, which you need right now.”

“I can’t sleep with you,” I squeaked.

“Why not?” he pouted.

“Um, we’re friends,” I said, blushing something fierce.

“Would you rather I be your enemy?” he snorted. “Bella, I promise to not take advantage of you. However, you need to warm up and the best way is to cuddle. Do you have to work tomorrow?”

“I’m working the three to midnight shift,” I whispered.

“I’m working the overnight shift but I can go in early to work on my charts. However, in the morning, we need to address the clothing issue,” he said as he reached for my hand. I put up little resistance as he pulled me into the bed. Once I was in his arms, he covered me with the blankets. I was unsure where to put my hands. He was shirtless! “Bella, my skin is not made out of acid. You can touch me.”

“I’ve never slept with a man before,” I whispered. “I’ve had sex but, um, the sleeping part didn’t happen. He left immediately afterward and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

Edward took my arms and wrapped them around his waist. He slipped his one arm under my neck and he draped his other around my waist. “Relax, Bella,” he soothed as he pressed my cheek against his bare shoulder. “I promise I won’t hurt you. I just want to make sure that you’re warm, sweet girl.” His skin was soft and warm. Plus, he smelled so good. He curled around me and held me close to his chest. “Sleep well, sweet girl,” he whispered as he kissed my forehead.

“Goodnight, Edward,” I replied, burying my face against his neck, listening to his steady heartbeat. Against my will, my eyes drooped and soon, I was dead to the world, in the arms of my friend.

xx APFL xx

The next morning, I woke up disoriented. And wearing much less clothing. I noticed that I taken off the fleece. Partially because I was sweltering and I realized the reason why. I was draped in an Edward Cullen blanket. His face was nuzzling my neck and his leg was holding my lower body captive. His arms were crushing me to his chest. It would have been very cute if a. we were dating and b. I didn’t have to pee like a goddamned race horse.

“Edward,” I whispered. “Let me go.”

“Hmmmmm, no,” he grumbled, squeezing me tighter to his body. “Best night’s sleep. Ever.”

This was true. I slept like the dead.

“Seriously, Edward. I got to pee,” I hissed.

“Are your back teeth floating?” he asked, cracking open one eye.

“No.”

“Then, ten more minutes,” he said as he kissed my neck.

“Edward!” I whined. “We’re going to have a problem here. You don’t seem like a guy who’s into golden showers.”

“Yuck, no. Go pee but come back,” he said as he extricated his long limbs from around my body.

“Jesus, Cullen, you’re like a damn octopus,” I snickered as I got out of bed.

“I warned you,” he smirked as he buried his nose in my pillow. I danced to the bathroom and quickly peed. I brushed my teeth and went back to check on Edward. It didn’t seem right to get back into bed with him. I’m warm now. Actually sweating since I had a human body draped over me all night long. I snuck back into the bedroom and walked to my messenger bag. I wanted to do some journaling.

However, Dr. Tattward had other ideas. I felt his arms around my waist and I squealed as he pulled me back into bed. “Edward!”

“It’s too early. Back to bed,” he said as he spooned around me.

“Are you like this with all of your female friends?” I teased him as I poked his belly.

“Nah. Just the ones I really like,” he snorted. “When was the last time you got be a bum and laze around in bed?”

“Um, never?” I replied as I turned to face him.

“Then enjoy this,” he said as he looked at me. He stared at me and his eyes softened. He gently removed some of my hair that had fallen across my cheek when he dragged me back into bed. “Are you uncomfortable with me, Bella?”

“At first,” I answered. “Especially sans clothing. You’re kind of, well, ripped, Edward. And you have a tattoo.”

“You noticed that, huh?” he chuckled. “Hurt like a son of a bitch, but it means a lot to me. My love of music. 

While I don’t actively pursue it, I still have this reminder along my ribs of that love. Why does that make you uncomfortable?”

“Well, I’m not entirely sure on how to answer this,” I frowned. “You’re like perfect, physically and I’m kind of intimidated by you.”

“Bella, I’m far from perfect,” he chuckled. “Have I done anything to you that should freak you out?”

“No. You’ve been nothing but kind and caring and sweet,” I answered honestly. “I just find it odd that someone as beautiful as you wants to be friends with me.”

“Now, I’m confused. You’re just as beautiful, Bella,” he said, staring at me. “Inside and out. Stubborn as hell, but beautiful. Why don’t you think that?”

“You heard the acid my father filled my head with,” I said sadly, staring at a birthmark on Edward’s left collarbone. “Edward, I’m not exactly thin. I have rolls and cellulite.”

“My nose is too big for my face and I have to buy two different sized shoes,” he said, arching a brow. “Oh, and I’m blind as a bat, I have no ass, I’ve got knobby knees and I’ve got a random hairy patch between my shoulder blades that I get waxed off every few weeks. Vain, I know, but we all have our faults. Bella, your weight is nothing to be ashamed about. You’re healthy and that’s all that matters. And you’re so beautiful, Bella.”

“Why don’t I believe you?” I asked, looking up into his eyes.

“Because for the past however many years, you’ve been told otherwise. Come with me,” he said as he got up out of the bed. He threw on the hoodie that I left next to bed and dragged me to the bathroom.

“No,” I whimpered as I stopped.

“Come on, beautiful,” he said, giving me his sweet grin. He twined his fingers with me and led me into the bathroom, standing me in front of him. He was a full head taller than me and I fit right underneath his chin. 

“Tell me. What do you see? Positive things only.”

“Nice skin,” I answered. The one thing I was blessed with was clear, porcelain skin from my mom.

“Anything else?” he asked as he put his hands on my shoulders. I shook my head, dropping my gaze to the sink. Edward gently tipped my chin up and stared at me in the mirror. “Do you want to know what I see? I see a woman who is amazing. She has gorgeous brown eyes that are the color of milk chocolate framed with the darkest, longest eyelashes. Her hair is the color of the richest mahogany that can be curly or straight. Either way, it feels like the richest silk. Her skin is like alabaster that warms up like rose petals when she blushes, which is quite often…and there it is.” I felt my cheeks heat up and I ducked my chin. “In addition to the physical beauty, her brain is intelligent and her heart is compassionate. Despite what your sperm donor did, you were still loyal to him. However, it’s his loss for losing you.”

“You’re not describing me,” I whispered.

“I am, Bella,” he said, giving me a smile. “I’m speaking as a friend. And as a man who would like something more…”

“What?” I asked, my eyes growing wide.

He turned me around and gently lifted me on the counter. “Bella, I know that you’re nowhere near ready for a relationship. Hell, neither am I, but I’m not going to lie and say that I’m not attracted to you. I am attracted to you. All of you. Perhaps part of it is that I feel so protective of you and the other part is that I desperately want you to believe in what I’m saying. If friendship is all you can give me, then I’ll take it. But, the horny guy in the back of my head, my perv, wants you. I want to be with you.”

“You don’t even know me,” I frowned.

“I know enough that I want to know MORE of you,” he answered. “In a way, you want it too. Why did you come here? You said yourself you could have gone to a hotel, but instead you came here.”

“I didn’t want to be alone. I’m tired of being alone,” I said.

“So you risked hypothermia and loss of your fingers to be with someone,” he teased. I chuckled and nodded. “Why didn’t you go to Angela’s?”

“She was with her parents in Wheaton. I called her but she didn’t pick up,” I said. “Besides, her roommate is moving out tomorrow.”

“Then, it looks like I’m having a house guest until you move in with Ang,” Edward smirked.

“You don’t mind?”

“Hell, no! This place is too big for just me. My brownstone is your brownstone,” he chuckled. “Anyhow, I wanted to be a bum but since a certain person wouldn’t cuddle with me, I’m awake now. What time do you go one to the hospital today?”

“I told you last night,” I chided.

“Remind me. I was half asleep and I’m old,” he snorted.

“Shut it. You’re not old. Anyhow, I have to be in my three,” I answered. “But, I only have my scrubs that I wore last night and a sweater and a pair of jeans.”

“Well, we’ll fix that problem,” he said. “It’s the day after Christmas. Huge sales. I mean massive. We can get you some necessities and perhaps check out some furniture for your new place, sweet girl. We don’t have to buy anything, but it doesn’t hurt to look.”

“Okay,” I said. “I don’t have a lot of extra money. I mean, I have a credit card. But, my sperm donor’s hospital bills are draining me dry.”

“After you shower, you are going to stop paying those. Call the hospital and remove your name from the bill,” Edward said coldly. “You work hard for you paycheck. That leech should not see one red cent of it.” He closed his eyes and leaned slightly over me. “I’m sorry. It’s just that I’m appalled at how he could treat you like that. He’s your dad. He should fucking love you. Jesus! My mom spent one day with you and you were sleeping the whole time and she loves you.”

“He doesn’t have a heart, Edward,” I laughed humorlessly.

“You got that right,” he said. “I’ll let you shower. Do you need some of my briefs?” He waggled his brows. I blushed and hid behind my hands. Ashamed, I nodded yes. “Don’t be ashamed, sweet girl. At least someone is using ‘em. I hate them. Too tight around the goodies.”

“Like to let the boys move freely,” I teased. I clapped my hands over my mouth, turning as red as a tomato. 

“Shit, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be! It was funny,” he bellowed. “I’ll be back, Bella. We’re going to have fun today. I know you’re upset about your dad and stressed about the money, but god damn it, you will have a fun day. Got it?”

“Yes sir,” I said as I gave him a salute. He kissed my cheek and darted out of the bathroom. With grace that I didn’t know I possessed, I hopped of the counter and grabbed my sweater and jeans. I also picked up my hairbrush and small makeup case from my messenger bag. I tossed my hair up into a ponytail and got into the shower. I noticed a change from the last time I was here. Instead of the male smelling body gel, there was Bath and Body Works body wash that smelled like what I used. I looked at the shower curtain, narrowing my eyes. I quickly washed my body and dried off using the massive towels. Inside of the bathroom was the same opened package of briefs from when I was there last. Keep ‘em, beautiful! – E

I rolled my eyes and pulled on my underwear. Or rather, Edward’s underwear. I finished getting ready and headed out of the bathroom. I grabbed my purse from my messenger bag and slipped my journal inside. I padded down the stairs, holding my boots in my hands. Edward was moving in the kitchen like a whirling dervish. I just sat back and watched him. Normally when one moves that quickly, they leave chaos. Edward left order, dropping off plates, cups and bowls of food. As I watched him, I let his words sink into my brain. He found me attractive. Why? I have no fucking clue. He thought I was compassionate and intelligent. I was both of those, but attractive? Beautiful? I don’t see it.

“I’m not sure what you like,” he said as he beckoned me into the kitchen. “I’ve got bagels, cream cheese, fresh fruit, eggs in the fridge if you want an omelet…”

“Just a bagel and fruit would be fine,” I said as I sat down at the breakfast bar. He handed me a plate and I dug into breakfast.

“Coffee?”

“Yes, please,” I smiled. He placed a cup in front of me along with some milk and sugar. I carefully made my coffee and we ate in quiet. Not an awkward quiet but companionable. It was…nice.

“Bella, here’s a spare key to my place,” Edward said as he handed me a large silver key. “Since you’re staying here until you move in with Angela. I’d rather you not hang out on my porch, risking life and limb. In the summer, great! Dead of winter, not so great.”

“Thanks, Edward. I’ll give this back to you when I’m officially out of your hair,” I said as I added it to my keychain.

“Keep it, Bella,” he said. I looked up at him and there was something sizzling behind his green eyes. “You never responded to what I said in the bathroom.”

“That’s because I don’t know how to respond. I want to believe every word you say but the voice in the back of my brain is saying run away,” I mumbled sadly.

“Why?”

“My ex, Jacob,” I said, wrinkling my nose. “He said the same things you did for the month and half we were together. Then, we have sex and then I’m a tub of lard and he can’t be seen with me. I’m afraid it’ll be the same with you.”

“How old were you?” Edward asked. “How old was Jacob?”

“I was twenty and Jacob was a little older, twenty-two,” I answered. “He was pre-med.”

“What was his name again?” Edward asked. “Last name?”

“Black. Jacob Black,” I answered. “He doesn’t work at county. As far as I know. I think he’s working at some private hospital as a surgeon or something.”

“Bella, what Jacob did to you was horrible. Another person who’s ass I want to kick,” he said dryly. “You’ll learn quickly that I’m very sincere and genuine. I also can’t lie for shit. My ears turn red and I start stuttering like a damn fool. If I didn’t believe what I said, I wouldn’t have said it. And I’ll keep saying it until you believe it. And as for the attraction, relationship thing, I’ll wait. I’m a patient man and a firm believer in good things come to those who wait. Once you realize your full potential, you’ll be unstoppable, Isabella Swan.”

I sighed and looked up at him. “You’re right. About all of it,” I said, a confidence in my voice that I never heard before. “I’ve been so afraid since my life went to hell that I’ve been living in the shadows. I want to show you something. After you’ve read it, I’ll tell you want I want to do, okay?”

“Okay,” he smiled. I reached into my purse and pulled out my journal. I turned to the first page and handed it to him. He read over my list. Once he was done, his smile was even wider. I took the journal from him and added one more item to my list.

1. 1.      Be willing to try to explore a relationship with Edward. At my pace, though. Slow.

I handed him back the journal, blushing deeply. I was wringing my hands as I watched him read my response. His face broke into a beautiful smile and he looked up at me. “Really?”

“Slow, Edward,” I whispered. “I don’t think I can handle getting burned right now. You are, right now, my dearest and best friend. I’m afraid if we cross that threshold into dating, our friendship will fall to the wayside and I’ll be left with nothing.”

“I can live with that, beautiful,” he breathed. “For now, it’s all innocent and you set the pace. Okay?”

I nodded and hopped off the stool. I hugged him, wrapping my arms around his waist. He kissed the crown of my head and squeezed me tightly.

“Right, now, let’s get you some clothes and necessities for your new digs,” he said gleefully.

“I also have to get some new scrubs,” I said against his chest. “The scrubs at the hospital are not cut for a woman with boobs and an ass.”

“Got it,” he chuckled. “Let’s start with that and then we’ll have some fun.” He pulled away and helped me into my coat. We walked out to the car and thankfully, it hadn’t snowed last night. We already had nearly a foot. I gave Edward directions to the shop where I got my scrubs. As he drove, I contacted the hospital and informed them the change in the billing information for Charlie’s hospital stays and surgeries. All further inquiries will be handled by the patient and Medicaid. I’m no longer a part of the process. It took nearly twenty minutes, but it was done.

I bought my scrubs, enough for at least two weeks. I didn’t get my usual ‘happy’ prints. I got the plain navy blue and dark green in my size. They were the cheapest, honestly. I took out my credit card and paid for my scrubs. The bored attendant handed me my bag and Edward took my hand. His fingers twined between mine and we walked out to the car.

Next stop was Water Tower Place. I did some mental math and figured I could spend roughly five hundred dollars on clothes. With the furniture and the clothes, I was definitely going to deplete my savings. “What’s wrong?” Edward asked.

“Just stressed about the money,” I frowned. “I don’t know how I’m going to be able to pay for the clothes, furniture and other necessities that I need.”

“Can I tell you something without getting mad?” he asked, biting his lip.

“What did you do?” I asked, arching a brow.

“I spoke to my mom about you. As I said before, she was quite taken with you and was very pissed off at me that you weren’t with me for Christmas,” he chuckled. “Anyhow, she has a bedroom set that would be perfect for your new place. It’s got a few dings in the wood so she said that she won’t accept any money for it. In addition to that, we have an old queen set at the house. It’s unused since my parents wanted a king sized bed. Finally, my brother just moved into his own place and wants to get rid of his desk. I pounced and asked if I could take it for you. All you have to worry about is  your clothes, Bella.”

“I’m not a charity case, Edward,” I said.

“I know you’re not. But, my family wants to do this. They are pieces that would otherwise be thrown out if you don’t take them. It’s what friends and families do for each other,” Edward said quietly. “My first apartment was a mishmash of furniture from my childhood bedroom, my parents hand me downs and going dumpster diving.”

“I bet your mother loved that,” I teased.

“She hated it but understood when I said I was a twenty-one year old man on his own for the first time. I needed to have my very own shithole apartment,” he snickered. “Please?” He jutted out his lower lip and whimpered quietly.

“Oh, that’s just pitiful,” I laughed. “Stop that.”

“Will you take the furniture?”

“If you stop with that face,” I snorted.

He smiled and kissed my cheek. “That was easier than I thought,” he chuckled. He got out of the car once he parked it and helped me out of the Volvo. Normally, I’d go to Kohl’s or Target for my clothes. I don’t have the money for mall. However, Edward insisted we go inside to check out the sales. I was in between sizes. I could wear an extra large but if I washed them too much, they were too small. The smallest plus size clothes usually were too big for me. Well, the plus sized clothes at Target or Kohl’s. In the mall, I saw a Lane Bryant. I bit my lip and looked into the store. There were some cute things.

“Come on, Bella,” Edward said as he pulled me toward the store. I followed him like a fucking lemming. Inside the store, I was assaulted with loud music and bright clothes. I’m wearing men’s briefs. You need clothes, moron. Underwear. Perhaps something a little sexy for the hot doc holding your hand right now?  “Are you okay, Bella? You’re awfully pink.”

“Um, just mentally making a list of what I need to get and I’m certain you don’t want to watch me try on clothes. Isn’t there some manly store like Brookstone where you can get laser beam reader thing?” I quipped. I furtively looked around the store and I felt tears prick my eyes.

“Bella, I want to stay with you. Besides, I want a fashion show,” he said as he hugged me to his side. “This is a lovely shade of blue. It would look gorgeous against your skin.” He held up a blue dress with thick straps and scalloped layers of royal blue chiffon. It had a matching bolero jacket.

“Where would I wear that?” I asked. “I’m either at work or at home.”

“New Year’s Eve,” he winked. He searched through the rack and pulled out a dress in presumably my size, handing it to me. I glowered at him as he wandered around the store, touching the clothes. Soon, I had an entire fitting room filled with clothes. Edward got his fashion show. And I got a new wardrobe, complete with some fun and sexy underwear. The only thing I was waffling on was the dress. It was $200. For one night? Edward noticed me obsessing and strode up to the register.

“Edward!” I hissed.

“Hush,” he said, giving me a smile. The woman gave him the total and he handed over a shiny black credit card, much to my chagrin. She willingly gave him the dress after he signed the credit slip. Folding the dress over his arm, I scowled at him as I paid for the rest of my clothes. The salesgirl handed me four large bags of clothes, totaling around $1000. Since, I didn’t have to really buy furniture now, I had some extra money to spend on clothes. Also, I don’t have to worry about my dad’s medical bills anymore.

The rest of the afternoon was spent acting silly at the mall before getting some lunch. The final stop was to Bed, Bath and Beyond to pick up some goodies for my bathroom with Ang. I found some cute purple items and we headed back to Edward’s brownstone. I changed into my new scrubs and he drove us to work even though his shift didn’t start until nine.

At the end of my shift, it felt weird walking into Edward’s brownstone without him. I said I was willing to wait until he was off to leave the hospital, but he all but shoved me out of the hospital at midnight. I had a hard time falling asleep, only managing to do so a little after three in the morning. When I woke up the next morning, Edward was curled around me with his nose buried in my neck. I turned around and looked at him. He was the beautiful one. Not me. His riotous hair stuck up every which way. His eyelashes were insanely long; any woman would kill for them. Hell, I’d kill for them. Shit!

However, despite his outward beauty, it was his heart that made him the most beautiful. His patience. His kindness. His warmth. Both literally and figuratively. Jeebus, he’s hot! And doesn’t he own a shirt?

I wiggled out of his arms and went downstairs. I made some coffee and rooted around in his kitchen to make breakfast. I decided on French toast and went to work on making breakfast. I was nearly done with breakfast when Edward came down, wearing his adorable glasses and scratching his bare stomach. “Food,” he bellowed.

“Such a guy. Always thinking with your stomach,” I teased as I put a plate in front of him. “How was work?”

“Boring as fuck,” he said as he rubbed his eyes. “I hate working overnights, but it’s a necessary evil.”

“Did you sleep at work?” I asked, arching a brow.

“My couch is quite comfortable,” he smirked as he tucked into the French toast. “Yeah, you’re not moving in Angela. I’m keeping you. This is the best French toast I’d ever tasted.”

“Sorry, Dr. C.,” I quipped. “I made a commitment to Ang and I’m going to stick to it.”

“Fine,” he pouted. “When are you on today?”

“Another three to midnight,” I answered. “Then, I’m off tomorrow to move. What about you?”

“Same as you,” Edward replied as he finished his breakfast. “I was going to head to the gym. I need to work off my Christmas dinner. If you want to come with, I can sign you in as a guest.”

“No sneakers or workout clothes,” I blushed. “Besides, I’m going to get a workout tomorrow with the move.”

“True. Well, I’m going to shove off. Make yourself comfortable, watch some television, use my computer, whatever your little heart desires, you can do. Well, not murder. That would be bad,” he chortled.

“You have an odd sense of humor, Edward.”

“I’m random,” he shrugged. “Thank you for breakfast. You didn’t have to do that, but I truly appreciate it, sweet girl.”

“It’s the least I can do since you’ve been generous enough to open up your home for the past few days,” I said.

“Bella, you’re welcome any time. No need to ask,” he smiled softly. He licked his lips and his gaze dropped to mine. I blushed and picked up his plate, rushing to do something. I wasn’t ready for that. Slow. I needed slow. “I’m going to change and I’ll be back in a couple of hours.” I nodded and smiled over my shoulder. A few moments later, Edward came back down and he kissed my forehead before he left for the gym. Once he was gone, I finished the dishes and darted to my purse, grabbing my journal.

December 27^th, 2012

Holy crap. Holy crap. Holy crap.

I’m in over my head.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY over my head.

Anyhow, I’ll backtrack. My dad, douchetard of the year, kicked me out of my apartment on Christmas. Not knowing where to go, I called Angela. No answer. Then, in a moment of panic, I hopped in a cab and ended up on Edward’s stoop. In the snow. For three hours. I got hypothermia and ended up in bed with aforementioned Edward. He was shirtless.

And fucking GORGEOUS!

But, yeah, he’s gorgeous inside and out and get this, he’s attracted to me and wants to be WITH ME!!!!!! Was he dropped on the head as a child?

Then the next morning, he stands me in front of the mirror and points out all of the positive attributes he sees in me. I can kind of see them, but for as long as I can remember, I’d been ridiculed and teased. It’s hard for me to believe it when I hear it.

Edward said, though, that he’d wait for me. Whenever he looks at me, his eyes seem to glow and I’m assaulted by butterflies. My stomach is twisting in anticipation but I’m so afraid that he’ll pull a Jacob. He assured me that he wouldn’t, but the nagging voice in my head is still telling me that this ‘whatever it is’ is too good to be true.

I said I’d try. I want to try. God knows I want to try. I’ve had some steamy dreams of being examined by Dr. Cullen. But, what if I’m setting myself up to fail?

Don’t think that way, Swan.

You’re worthy of him. He’s worthy of you. You’re worthy of each other.

A/N: Well??? *Bites lip* She’s making headway and Edward made his intentions known. Oh, and raise your hand if you want to pummel Charlie? What an asstard! Anyhow, I wanted to get through to Bella’s move but, obviously that didn’t happen. As it stands, this chapter is nearly 11,000 words. I don’t want to write the great American novel in this ONE chapter so, I’m stopping here.  Check out my facebook group, Tufano79 Twilight Fanfiction Appreciation, for extra teasers and such. We’re a fun bunch. Lots of Rob Porn and fanfic pimpage. And speaking of pimpage, I’m whoring myself out for some reviews! Leave me some! Laters!

Angela's Apartment Building

Kitchen

Angela's Room

Living Room

Angela's Bathroom

Bella's Room

Bella's Bathroom